jokes about cats
- Cat Owners
- How do cat owners react when faced with a polite debate about cats that pops their bubble of "my ...
- Cats
- Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: ...
- Cats vs Teenagers
- For all of you with teenagers or who had teenagers, you may want to know why they really have a lot ...
- Women and Cats
- When women reach a certain age they start ...
- Cat
- A man brings his cat to a veterinarian. He lives the cat there and returns in two days, as per ...
- Cats
- "I do not encourage eating cats. But judging by the amount of time they spend licking themselves, I ...
- Cats
- How many cats can squeeze into a regular sized empty box?
Just one. After that the box isnât ...
- The cat and the rooster
- A rooster and a cat were playing by the pool.
The cat fell in and the rooster laughed.
The cat ...
- Women and Cats
- Women and cats will do as they please, men ...
- Cat
- My cat just walked up to the paper shredder ...
- Cat
- I saw a poster today, somebody was asking âHave you seen my cat?â So I called the number and ...
- Emergency Call
- There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this:
Caller: Help me, ...
- Cat
- A man drives deep into the forest to get rid of his cat. He lets her out at an abandoned place. ...
- Dead Cat
- The lady next door ran over my cat.
She said she'd replace it, so I asked her how good she was at ...
- Butt
- A cat meets a fox in the forest.
The fox asks the cat why she smells so dreadful.
The cat ...
- Cat
- A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and ...
- Jungle Cat
- Why is it a bad idea to play poker with a ...
- Lost Cat
- âHi, police department? Iâve lost my cat and â¦
âSorry lady, this is not a police job, we ...
- Cat and Comma
- What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has its claws at the end of is paws; a ...
- Damn Cat
- A man who hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of the animal by driving him several blocks away ...
- Baby Planes
- A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. ...
- Dead Cat
- A kindergarten pupil told his teacher heâd found a cat, but it was dead. âHow do you know that ...
- Cat
- âOur cat was stupid enough to drink some petrol yesterday. She spent two hours racing through the ...
- More Christmas Jokes
- What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Iceburgers or Brrrr-itos!
When is a boat just like snow?
When ...
- Baskin Robbins
- Two robins were lying on their backs, basking in the sun.
A mama cat and her kitten were walking ...
- Words
- Q: What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A: A spelling bee.
Q: Where do cows go for ...
- The truths about life, that little children have learnt
- 1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't ...
- The Pastors Cat
- Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church. He had a kitten that ...
- 12 Days of Christmas - A Cat's Rendition
- 12 Days of Christmas - A Cat's Rendition
On the twelfth day of Christmas my human gave to me:
...
- Cat
- A man goes on a 2-month business trip to Europe and leaves his cat with his brother. Three days ...
- Great Truths About Life That Little Children Have Learned
- Great Truths About Life That Little Children Have Learned
* No matter how hard you try, you can' ...
- Rules
- What does one call a cat that ...
- Firefighter
- A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door ...
- At the Vet
- A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help.
The vet rushes him back to ...
- Results
- Doctor: "We got your test results back. I'm ...
- New Years Eve Party
- We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned ...
- Dressed and Ready
- A couple was dressed and ready to go out into the city for the evening. They turned on a night ...
- Actual Funny Pet Names
- Does kitty dream of slinking down the catwalk? If so, give her a name that screams âIâm a star!â ...
- First Price
- How did the cat get the first prize at a bird show?
Somebody didnât shut the championâs cage ...
- Time Travel
- If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared, what would be the most difficult thing to explain ...
- Pet Rules
- PET RULES
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
...
- Perspective
- If you want to keep a true perspective of your own importance, get a dog that will worship you and ...
- Sandy Beach
- Tonight I dreamed of a beautiful walk on a sandy beach.
At least that explains the footprints I ...
- Difference
- What is the difference between a man and a cat?
One eats a lot, is lazy and doesnât care who ...
- Scientific Philosophies
- Scientific Philosophies
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is ...
- Top TEN things only women UNDERSTAND...
- 10. Cats' facial expressions
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors
8. ...
- Scottish Bloke
- This Scottish bloke goes on a skiing holiday to Canada. After a hard day on the slopes, he retires ...
- Words of Wisdom from Kids
- Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10
When your dad is mad and asks you, âDo I ...
- Men vs. Women
- NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, ...
- The Difference Between Women And Men
- 1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each ...
- Top ten things only women understand
- TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same ...
- Your Duck is Dead
- A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the ...
- Don't argue with a Vet!!
- I got this story sent: One day at the veterinarian's office where I take my cat, a
man and the ...
- Dead
- A kid, about 5 or 6 years old, woke up one night at 4 in the morning screaming. His mother rushed ...
- 5 minute management course 6
- 5 minute management course 6
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so ...
- Bats
- Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "Ya know, since summer started ...
- Stray Cat
- One hot July day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, ...
- Useless Facts
- 1. Most American car horns honk in the key of F.
2. The name Wendy was made up for the book " ...
- Useless Facts
- Useless Facts
1. Most American car horns honk in the key of F.
2. The name Wendy was made up ...
- New Year Jokes 2
- 6. Why do you need a jeweler on New Yearâs Eve?
To ring in the new year.
7. Where can you ...
- Dead Goldfish
- Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. ...
- Kindergarten pupil
- A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat.
She asked him if it was dead or alive.
... - These jokes are Bat!
- Q: How does a vampire enter his house?
A: Through the bat flap!
Q: How can you tell a vampire ...
- Dog's and Cat's Diary
- EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A ...
- Things I've Learned from My Children
- 1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
2. A 3-year-old is louder than 200 adults in a ...
- Cinderella
- CINDERELLA was now 95 years old.
After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sat ...
- Ramblings of a Retired Mind
- I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped ...
- Emergency
- A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick ...
- Youâve Been Drinking Too Much Coffee When..
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without ...
- Coffee
- Youâve Been Drinking Too Much Coffee Whenâ¦.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
You can ...
- On the Run
- A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on the run from the law when they find an old barn to hide ...
- Turpentine
- A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine and shaking it up and watching all ...
- Top 10 SIGNS your family is STRESSED...
- 10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".
9. The school ...
- Florida Beach
- Goldie, a recently widowed lady, was sitting on a Florida beach near Venice. She looked up and ...
- Christmas Jokes
- What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia!
Why does Santa have ...
- Black Magic
- This old man was feared by all his neighbors because they believe he practiced black magic and was ...
- Don't Kick the Animals
- A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his mother. She said, "Not until you feed the animals."
...
- Three Mice
- Three mice were sitting at a bar talking about how tough they were. The first mouse slams a shot ...
- Having Boys
- HAVING BOYS
NOTE: Do not attempt No.8 indoors!
a) For those with no children - this is ...
- How Blonde Is She???
- How Blonde Is She???
She was Soooooooo Blonde .
* She thought a quarterback was a refund.
* ...
- Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans
- Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans
1 Blaming your farts on me..... not funny... not funny at ...
- An old Lady
- An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away the last days of her long life, when all of a ...
- What if
- If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
If you choke a Smurf, what ...
- Cinderella Wishes
- Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat ...
- My Son the Vet
- One Sunday, while counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small Florida church ...
- Cuckoo Clock
- The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be ...
- Wal-Mart
- Things to do @ Wal-Mart while the significant other is taking his/her sweet time:
1. Get cans of ...
- Wonderful Church Giver
- One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small Florida church ...
- Ever Wonder?
- -Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
- Why women can't put on mascara with ...
- Things you learn from Children
- Things you learn from Children
For those with No children---this is totally hysterical!
For ...
- Christmas
- What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia!
Why does Santa have ...
- Farm
- A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his ...
- Virginity
- Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run ...
- Yo Momma part 4
- Yo momma's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo ...
- Defining Teenagers
- A Teenager is...
A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.
...
- Police
- The following were purportedly taken off of actual police car videos around the USA...
"Take ...
- Product Warnings 1
- PRODUCT WARNINGS
Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products:
Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not ...
- Hallmark
- WHAT HALLMARK DOESN'T PRINT
- So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. ...
- Irish Radio
- On Irish radio there is a guy called Larry Gogan who has been running the "Just-a-Minute quiz" ...
- Remember This
- Remember this:
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks ...
