jokes about cats

The most dangerous position for a cat to be in #stairs
Your guitar is out of tune #cat
Foxes are cat software running in dog hardware
This is still no attractive cat
My cat parties harder than I do!
When your cat watches too much Master Chef
This cat has a side quest waiting
when youre the last cat built for the day #parts
dont be silly #cat
A cat checking in the cat hotel
this is probably cat logic
Cats in a fight
cat has never been fed in entire life
This cat sleeps with one eye open gripping its pillow tight
We asked a cat what it would do if it where the Brits
No, I’m not coming to your dog’s birthday party #cat
A cats perspective
This cat is in trouble
Yoga is not for cats
It killed the cat and mildly inconvenienced the horse
Spotted a mamma cat gently carrying her child today
This cat doesnt know how to drink aqwardly
this cat is doing it wrong
cats will be cats even when theyre a statue
Steve Buscemis cat
A hungry cat with good timing
What happens when a cat swallows a melon
the headless cat
Happy International Cat Day!
This must be a very obese cat!
A cat should not lie down on a toy doll
If the earth was flat #cats
a precision weapon to fight the cat
this cat knows how to relax #tequila
I have to admin, Catwoman, you are not as I expected
This cat is using a scratching pole
Australia is about cats and dogs
theres a generation gap with cats
Hi, we understand you are 40 and still single #cats
My coworkers didnt appreciate this joke #fridge #cat
Compare cats to dogs
A cat that changed his mind
A static cat
The strong independent women aisle #wine #cat #food
A picture for those who like pics of cats
This cat does not want to take a bath
No time to explain #cat #toilet
Stop asking about your cat, try the chicken #chinese #restaurant
cat teases dog with mistletoe for Christmas
 how I feel after thanksgiving fat cat
cat poses for a perfectly timed picture
cat caught in folk music environment
Have you ever seen a see through cat
cat wants to be let in the house
how to tell if your cat #plot #kill
a cat trying salad #fat
How to catch a cat with an emty box
Gang signs turned into cats cradle
Even grumpier cat found
cat watches outside
Cat hiding behind a bag of catfood
Batman costume made with a cat
framed picture of a cat says my dog
a handy device to carry your cat
telling a women to calm down works as well as trying to baptize a cat
missing cat in the window
cat and 3 meerk
cats version of a super bowl
A cat that can be switched on
internet is full of cat people
guy riding a cat
cat found but its not a cat opposum
cat seems humans as slaves
cat stole kids popsicle on his fur
someone posting her cat is sick getting advice from others
cats laying in the sun with bikini
cat behind window with lost sign on it
dog laughing at cat
girl with cat looking like beard
creepy picture of running cat
cat on fan
cat and dog floating in air
a cat smiling at a camera
cat wanting to jump has 9 lives
why cats hate kids
two cats eating the hard way
dog with cat on his head
girl playing tennis cat shadow
cat tied up by his own leash
new facial scar in cat guy with ball in mouth
thermometer cat
blue cat coughing up blue hairball
cat did not attack mouse
Parrot riding bike hungry cat looking
morning grumpy cat
cat jumping in air
tiger stripes cat shadow
Cat Owners
How do cat owners react when faced with a polite debate about cats that pops their bubble of "my ...
Cats
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: ...
Cats vs Teenagers
For all of you with teenagers or who had teenagers, you may want to know why they really have a lot ...
Women and Cats
When women reach a certain age they start ...
Cat
A man brings his cat to a veterinarian. He lives the cat there and returns in two days, as per ...
Cats
"I do not encourage eating cats. But judging by the amount of time they spend licking themselves, I ...
Cats
How many cats can squeeze into a regular sized empty box? Just one. After that the box isn’t ...
The cat and the rooster
A rooster and a cat were playing by the pool. The cat fell in and the rooster laughed. The cat ...
Women and Cats
Women and cats will do as they please, men ...
Cat
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder ...
Cat
I saw a poster today, somebody was asking “Have you seen my cat?” So I called the number and ...
Emergency Call
There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: Caller: Help me, ...
Cat
A man drives deep into the forest to get rid of his cat. He lets her out at an abandoned place. ...
Dead Cat
The lady next door ran over my cat. She said she'd replace it, so I asked her how good she was at ...
Butt
A cat meets a fox in the forest. The fox asks the cat why she smells so dreadful. The cat ...
Cat
A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and ...
Jungle Cat
Why is it a bad idea to play poker with a ...
Lost Cat
“Hi, police department? I’ve lost my cat and … “Sorry lady, this is not a police job, we ...
Cat and Comma
What's the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has its claws at the end of is paws; a ...
Damn Cat
A man who hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of the animal by driving him several blocks away ...
Baby Planes
A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. ...
Dead Cat
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead. “How do you know that ...
Cat
“Our cat was stupid enough to drink some petrol yesterday. She spent two hours racing through the ...
More Christmas Jokes
What do snowmen eat for lunch? Iceburgers or Brrrr-itos! When is a boat just like snow? When ...
Baskin Robbins
Two robins were lying on their backs, basking in the sun. A mama cat and her kitten were walking ...
Words
Q: What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A: A spelling bee. Q: Where do cows go for ...
The truths about life, that little children have learnt
1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't ...
The Pastors Cat
Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church. He had a kitten that ...
12 Days of Christmas - A Cat's Rendition
12 Days of Christmas - A Cat's Rendition On the twelfth day of Christmas my human gave to me: ...
Cat
A man goes on a 2-month business trip to Europe and leaves his cat with his brother. Three days ...
Great Truths About Life That Little Children Have Learned
Great Truths About Life That Little Children Have Learned * No matter how hard you try, you can' ...
Rules
What does one call a cat that ...
Firefighter
A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door ...
At the Vet
A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to ...
Results
Doctor: "We got your test results back. I'm ...
New Years Eve Party
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned ...
Dressed and Ready
A couple was dressed and ready to go out into the city for the evening. They turned on a night ...
Actual Funny Pet Names
Does kitty dream of slinking down the catwalk? If so, give her a name that screams “I’m a star!â ...
First Price
How did the cat get the first prize at a bird show? Somebody didn’t shut the champion’s cage ...
Time Travel
If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared, what would be the most difficult thing to explain ...
Pet Rules
PET RULES To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height. Dear Dogs and Cats, ...
Perspective
If you want to keep a true perspective of your own importance, get a dog that will worship you and ...
Sandy Beach
Tonight I dreamed of a beautiful walk on a sandy beach. At least that explains the footprints I ...
Difference
What is the difference between a man and a cat? One eats a lot, is lazy and doesn’t care who ...
Scientific Philosophies
Scientific Philosophies When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is ...
Top TEN things only women UNDERSTAND...
10. Cats' facial expressions 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors 8. ...
Scottish Bloke
This Scottish bloke goes on a skiing holiday to Canada. After a hard day on the slopes, he retires ...
Words of Wisdom from Kids
Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10 When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I ...
Men vs. Women
NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, ...
The Difference Between Women And Men
1. NAMES If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each ...
Top ten things only women understand
TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND 10. Cats' facial expressions. 9. The need for the same ...
Your Duck is Dead
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the ...
Don't argue with a Vet!!
I got this story sent: One day at the veterinarian's office where I take my cat, a man and the ...
Dead
A kid, about 5 or 6 years old, woke up one night at 4 in the morning screaming. His mother rushed ...
5 minute management course 6
5 minute management course 6 Lesson 6 A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so ...
Bats
Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "Ya know, since summer started ...
Stray Cat
One hot July day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, ...
Useless Facts
1. Most American car horns honk in the key of F. 2. The name Wendy was made up for the book " ...
Useless Facts
Useless Facts 1. Most American car horns honk in the key of F. 2. The name Wendy was made up ...
Dead Goldfish
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. ...
Kindergarten pupil
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat.
She asked him if it was dead or alive. ...
These jokes are Bat!
Q: How does a vampire enter his house? A: Through the bat flap! Q: How can you tell a vampire ...
Dog's and Cat's Diary
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY: 8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A ...
Things I've Learned from My Children
1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 2. A 3-year-old is louder than 200 adults in a ...
Cinderella
CINDERELLA was now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sat ...
Ramblings of a Retired Mind
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped ...
Emergency
A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick ...
You’ve Been Drinking Too Much Coffee When..
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without ...
Coffee
You’ve Been Drinking Too Much Coffee When…. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze. You can ...
On the Run
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on the run from the law when they find an old barn to hide ...
Turpentine
A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine and shaking it up and watching all ...
Top 10 SIGNS your family is STRESSED...
10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk". 9. The school ...
Florida Beach
Goldie, a recently widowed lady, was sitting on a Florida beach near Venice. She looked up and ...
Christmas Jokes
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia! Why does Santa have ...
Black Magic
This old man was feared by all his neighbors because they believe he practiced black magic and was ...
Don't Kick the Animals
A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his mother. She said, "Not until you feed the animals." ...
Three Mice
Three mice were sitting at a bar talking about how tough they were. The first mouse slams a shot ...
Having Boys
HAVING BOYS NOTE: Do not attempt No.8 indoors! a) For those with no children - this is ...
How Blonde Is She???
How Blonde Is She??? She was Soooooooo Blonde . * She thought a quarterback was a refund. * ...
Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans
Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans 1 Blaming your farts on me..... not funny... not funny at ...
An old Lady
An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away the last days of her long life, when all of a ...
What if
If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter? If you choke a Smurf, what ...
Cinderella Wishes
Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat ...
My Son the Vet
One Sunday, while counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small Florida church ...
Cuckoo Clock
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be ...
Wal-Mart
Things to do @ Wal-Mart while the significant other is taking his/her sweet time: 1. Get cans of ...
Wonderful Church Giver
One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small Florida church ...
Ever Wonder?
-Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? - Why women can't put on mascara with ...
Things you learn from Children
Things you learn from Children For those with No children---this is totally hysterical! For ...
Christmas
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia! Why does Santa have ...
Farm
A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his ...
Virginity
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone. Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run ...
Yo Momma part 4
Yo momma's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals." Yo ...
Defining Teenagers
A Teenager is... A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number. ...
Police
The following were purportedly taken off of actual police car videos around the USA... "Take ...
Product Warnings 1
PRODUCT WARNINGS Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products: Liquid Plummer Warning: Do not ...
Hallmark
WHAT HALLMARK DOESN'T PRINT

  1. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. ...
Irish Radio
On Irish radio there is a guy called Larry Gogan who has been running the "Just-a-Minute quiz" ...
Remember This
Remember this: Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. Keep skunks ...
Poodle
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company. ...

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