jokes about religion

nice try Satan #kia #soul
this touchdown is for Jesus
Bored of the regular Jesus
For I did not speak of my own Accord John 12:48 #jesus #uber
summoning satan
What did Jesus do to his hair
The circle is complete #jesus #sin
If this goes right, they thank Jesus
Stairway to Heaven or Highway to Hell
jesus
Well, time to checked who shared that post #jesus
Floppy disks are like Jesus
1 like is 1 prayer #jesus #hell
if finally happened #hell #freezes
it finally happened #hell #frozen
Never been insulted #god #christians
Jesus is working in mysterious ways
how in the hell do you still have the ball
Jesus vs Satan
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours ...
Jesus and Satan
Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had ...
Christmas
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused ...
Heaven or Hell
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you' ...
Eskimo
An Eskimo being far out in the wild did not know about religion and god etc. A priest tells him ...
Jezus
A man gets drunk and stumbles straight into a baptism being performed on the river bank. The ...
An engineer in Hell
An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not pleased with the level of comfort in Hell, and ...
Heaven
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go ...
Poison
A man goes to see the Rabbi. 'Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you ...
The Bear
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the ...
Church Finances
A Mormon Family, one Monday evening, sat around the fire place and was discussing Church Finances, ...
Engineer
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you' ...
Father Murphy
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go ...
Father Murphy
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go ...
Hell
Three dead men go to hell at the same time. There is a white man, a Chinese man, and a Mexican man. ...
Smoke and Pray
Cecil and Morris are walking to services and Cecil asks, "I wonder whether it would be all right to ...
Satan
Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the ...
Sip the Vodka
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the ...
Little Girl
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to ...
Rabbi
Why did the Rabbi have to quit carrying around scripture with him wherever he went? Because it ...
Bartender
A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender ...
Jesus' Multi-Ethnicity
Proof that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into his father's business. 2. He lived at home until the ...
Bishop
A bishop walks straight up to the bar and the barman says: You can't do that. Bishops can only ...
The Pope and Tiger Woods
The Pope and Tiger Woods die on the same day and because of an administrative mix up the Pope went ...
Pastor's Ass
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that ...
Married in Heaven
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The ...
Jezus
An Irish man with a crooked back walks into a coffee shop and sees Jesus sitting in the corner ...
Heaven vs. Hell
One night, God visits a preacher. The preacher has one question, "What is Heaven like?" God ...
Heaven
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? ...
Married in Heaven
A man and a woman are on their way to their wedding. They get into a terrible car crash and are ...
Preacher's Ass
A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and, on being told that there was a fortune in ...
Ass
A pastor wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse ...
Satan
Struggling to make ends meet on a first-call salary, the pastor was livid when he confronted his ...
Heaven or Hell
Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed ...
Married in heaven
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The ...
A nun and a priest
A nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and realized halfway across that the camel they ...
The Devil
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went ...
The Devil
One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local ...
The world's first Professional
A doctor, and engineer, a rabbi and a lawyer were debating who was the world's first professional. ...
Jezus
Two guys and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and ...
An Irish Priest
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The ...
Church
The church was badly in need of a coat of paint... So the pastor decided he'd do the job himself. ...
Funeral
A woman in Brooklyn decided to prepare her Will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi ...
Heaven or Hell
While walking down the street one day, a political head of state is tragically hit by a truck and ...
Two Brothers
Once upon a time there were two brothers. One brother was very mischievous, always getting into ...
Two Brothers
There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful. His ...
Innovative Ideas
The local parish had a fairly new priest. He had wonderful, innovative ideas that were, for the ...
Just water
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The ...
Jesus
A Drunk man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing ...
Religious Humor
Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were ...
Jezus
If Jesus and Poseidon ever ...
Heaven and Hell
Heaven is Where: the Police are British, the Chefs are Italian, the Mechanics are German, the ...
Where is God?
Two brothers were always getting into trouble in their neighborhood. The people in the neighborhood ...
HR Director
One day while walking down the street a highly successful HR Director was tragically hit by a bus ...
Dear grandson
Dear Grand-son, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you ...
The Senator
While walking down the street one day, a senator is tragically hit by a truck and killed. His soul ...
Devil
Not many people know it, but the Devil actually wears a wig. You'd never know if you weren't told - ...
The Confession
Joe enters the confessional and tells the priest that he has committed adultery. "Oh, no," said ...
5 minute management course 2
5 minute management course Lesson 2: A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed ...
Jesus is watching you
A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching ...
Dead
I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of ...
Donation
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with ...
Greek God
My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god. ...
An old cop named Murphy
MURPHY goes into the confessional and says to his priest "I had an affair with a woman. . . almost." ...
Bill Gates
Bill Gates goes to purgatory. St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you ...
Two Priests
Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd ...
Catholic
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee. The first Catholic man tells his ...
Panties
There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day. As the priest is walking by, he looks up ...
Golf
Two guys are hitting the links at their local golf and country club. Luckily, it's a beautiful day, ...
Nine Is Enough
Shortly after having her ninth baby, an Irish Catholic woman runs into her parish priest. He ...
Catholic Dog
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, ...
Jesus and Moses
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables; ...
Confession
An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Monte Cassino went to the local church for ...
Catholic Coffee Morning
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square. The first ...
Little Mary
Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in her Catholic School.
Usually she slept ...
Lemon Squeeze
There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, ...
Little Mary
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day ...
Baseball in Heaven
Two ninety-year old men, Moe and Sam, have been friends all their lives. It seems that Sam is ...
My Bike
A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his mission in the jungle where he ...
Yo momma So Old Collection
Yo momma's so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake. Yo momma's so old, she farts ...
Two Choices
With the economy the way it is and John just getting laid off from his first job, he decided to go ...
Priest
A very distinguished lady on a plane from Switzerland found herself seated next to a nice priest. ...
Confessions
An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. There's a ...
Yo Momma
Yo mama so fat God told her he had no room in heaven and the devil said there was no room in hell ...
Three Guys Go to Heaven
Three guys die and end up at the gates of heaven, talking to St. Peter. "So," Peter asks the ...
Absent
Harry walked over to the Priest after services, “You know Father, I am really stuck in a quandary ...
A Polite Way
A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if ...
Jezus
A burglar broke into a house one Christmas night looking for presents when the family was not home. ...
Baseball
Tom was at the hospital visiting with his best friend Larry who was dying. Tom asked, "If there is ...
Drunk
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. ...
Parrots
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem. I have two female ...
The Twenty and The One
There was this $20 dollar bill and a $1 dollar bill on the conveyor belt at the downtown Federal ...
Double Vodka
A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says, "Wow, ...
Obscene Parrots
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female ...
Divorce in Heaven
There was a couple who was about to get married. Before the wedding, they had a tragic accident and ...
An elderly Priest
An elderly priest made it a practice to visit the parish school once a week. he walked into the 4 ...
Pearly Gates
Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates ...
Confession
A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local ...
Nails
Wilson runs a nail factory and decides his business needs a bit of advertising. He has a chat with ...
A Miracle
One morning a man comes into the church on crutches. He stops in front of the holy water and ...

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