jokes about children

kid gives doctor advice to examine grandpa
There can only be one good boy
this ginger girl is a cannibal
funny sticker placement #obama #mom
when mom is alone with the baby vs dad
when you accidentally say a curse word in front of mom
Picture of a girl and her dog taken from the perfect angle #centaur
Some parents take it too far
A horrifying sight! #money #child #scissors
never complain about your mom asking computer questions
Spotted a mamma cat gently carrying her child today
this girl is pretty good with a CVS receipt
A girl/dog hybrid
Whats your earliest childhood memory #fat #mom
brutal joke about an adopted kid
A kid gets his head stuck in a chair
How a boy tells a story vs how girls do
Does this girl know whats on her T-shirt #ramones
happy fathers day
this boy at ADHD
This girl is clearly confused #starwars #startrek
And I though getting you tongue stuck was bad #dog
Mom, am I ugly
When you said the dishwasher was loaded #mom
Know your limits #heavy #girl
this restaurant has a good idea for kids menus
Protecting innocent children from monsters-under-the-bed since 1902
A firm warning
This 14 year old Russian girl has been banned from the Olympics
Eat whatever you want #lecture #kid
Treat your girl like a princess #knight #alliance #france
How kids show their appreciation for their dad!
So, hows parenting going #puke #sick #kid
This girl goes to the ER for sure
A guy picking up a younger girl at a bar
Girl gives a giftcard for christmas so it cant be spend on drugs
Is google a boy or a girl
As a child my dinner consisted of two options
this is great for grating kids
a traffic sign with a weird text
girl matches the school bathroom
You better look twice! #butt #naked
I want my first daughter to be what! #girl
This boy wants to be a musician when he grows up
never make fun of having to help me with computer stuff #children
Please read the sign Golfers #children #expose
When moms alone with the baby and when dads alone
that awkward moment your kid realizes #math
a dog wondering whos a good boy
woman going to the doctor
kid saved for a new macbook, bough equivalent pc and a car instead
someone played hide and seek with his father for 20 years
to this day the boy bullying me at school still takes my lunch money
Old men explains you cant do cheap shopping anymore
Mom of sick child gets enough facebook likes for operation
this is what you should do to your kids car!
Boy you really messed up this time!
a boy drinking from a can
Your child is being eaten by a camel
girl in bikini has no power here
kid dresses up as fire hose
girl with a champange glass in her mouth
advice to mom spend money on child not on slutty clothes
obama letting a child in on a secret
Cartoonist drawing fat girl as jabba the hut
mutual pillow dog sleeping on girl sleeping on dog
girl with shorts wearing hat
boy making fool of himself with donkey ears
girl with cat looking like beard
little boy at big toilet urinal
nothing says I hate you more than giving someones child a drum set
boy taking picture of crocodile upclose
duck face Elmer shooting girl
nerdy kid sitting with beautiful girls
kid drawing on dog
girl with shadow on her leg making it seem like she has a long penis
kid hiding two letters from the womens dressing room
girl scared of dolphin
boy stuck on a fence
girl playing tennis cat shadow
fat girl jumping off stage
girl falling of swing
less stuff from the dollar store girl on santa's lap
flexible girl curled arms
irish girl sunbathing pale
duck ducklings down drain
Harry Potter How I met your mom
dog peeing on girl sunbathing
girl breasts knees
police little kid mustang
Annoying Boy on Bus
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad ...
Dickhead
A couple had twin sons from about one year old. The first one could talk. The second one couldn't. ...
Parents
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad ...
People
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, ...
People
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, ...
The Human Race
A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?' The mother answered, 'God made ...
The tradition at weddings
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?" His ...
Italian kid
Italian kid.. 'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'. The ...
Principal
Boy: Our principal so stupid Girl: Don't you know who I am? Boy: No Girl: I'm the principal's ...
Parents
Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of ...
Kids
It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children ...
Sinned
The girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "What is it, ...
Dumb Kid
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer,"This is the dumbest kid ...
A Kindergarten teacher
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would ...
Two boys
Two boys argue over whose parents are better. The first boy says, "My dad's better than your dad. ...
Blond
A blond woman desperately needed some money, so she decided to kidnap someone. So she went to the ...
Dad
One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking ...
Children
"I don't think my mom knows much about children." "Why do you say that?" "Because she always puts ...
Kids
A little girl and a little boy were at daycare. The girl approached the boy and said, "Hey, Stevie, ...
Homework
As a teacher I often send home notes with children to inform the parents that their child’s ...
Google
Is Google a boy or girl? Girl because it won't let you finish your sentence without suggesting ...
Dance
Boy – Would you like to dance? Girl – ...
Dance
Boy – Would you like to dance? Girl – ...
Confucious
Confucious say, "Is good for girl to meet boy in park... but is better for boy to park meat in ...
Rain
A girl asks her father, "Why does it rain? Is it God sweating or crying?" "No," says her father, " ...
Giving birth
Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, ...
An 18-year old Italian girl
An 18-year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very ...
A Study
A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first graders using a bowl of ...
Rich Boy's nose cut
A rich but spoilt boy fell in love with a girl and showered her with gifts though she didn't ...
The Mall
An Antartian boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they ...
Hershey Kiss
One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test. ...
Son
There was a middle aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. The couple ...
Ice Cream
A mother found her son scooping ice cream in the kitchen and was mad. Mom : "Dinner is going to ...
Bugs
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things ...
Save the Children
I'm watching TV with my father late at night 'cause he doesn't sleep. And you know that commercial ...
Spin the Bottle
"We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle and if it pointed ...
Don't Kick the Animals
A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his mother. She said, "Not until you feed the animals." ...
Wives and Husbands and more
Wives and Husbands and more Wife: "What are you doing?" Husband: "Nothing." Wife: "Nothing...? ...
Just Like My Mom
Manny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny just ...
Fortune Teller
A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see a fortune teller's tent. Thinking it ...
Little Boy
A salesman goes up to a house and knocks on the front door. It's opened by a little ten year-old ...
White weddingdress
A son asked his mother the following question: 'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother ...
Flat Tummy
A little boy walks into his parents room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The ...
Kite
One day a father and son are flying a kite. The kite is going in circles and crashing. The father ...
The Way Children See Things!
The Way Children See Things! NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm ...
Teen
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up. "Wow!," ...
Dad and Son
A dad walks into a market with his young son. The kid is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy ...
Wedding Dress
A son asked his mother the following question: 'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother ...
Being parents
Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of ...
Tampons
A nine-year old boy goes into the grocery store, grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries ...
Amish elevator
An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but ...
The birds and the bees
A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees. 'I don't want to know,' ...
The Affair 1
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They ...
kids in the Hospital
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on beds next to each other, outside the operating room. ...
Meaning of... 'potentially' and 'realistically'
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' ...
Daddy Longlegs
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and ...
Kids
At the shops a man noticed a lady eyeing his two adopted children curiously. The boy was blond, ...
Married
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: ...
Dark in here, isn't it?
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son ...
A Dog in Heat
A little girl asked her mum, "Mum, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mum replies, " ...
God
After Leslie brought home her fiance to meet her parents, her father invited the young man into his ...
iPad
A father and son are out shopping for Christmas presents for their family. The son asks, "What ...
Children
Mrs. McGervey was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father O'Flaherty. ...
Apples
Q: You have a basket with 20 apples. You have 20 hungry children. Every child should get an apple ...
50th wedding anniversary
A couple were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a ...
Little Johnny
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse ...
God
A young woman visits her parents and brings her fiancé to meet them. After an elaborate dinner, ...
Horse Auction
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from ...
Nickles
A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the boy 3 nickels to play with to ...
Butt Dust
What, you ask, is "Butt Dust"? Read on and you'll discover the joy in a child's sincere originality. ...
Children
Never take children ...
Choking
A father walks into a book store with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the ...
Indian
One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answers, "Well son ...
Makes Sense
A logician just had a baby. Her friends ...
Undies
A blonde girl came home from college one day and told her mother that a boy had paid her a dollar ...
Pregnant
An 18 year-old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the ...
Pregnant
A young girl was very much interested in the progress of her mother’s pregnancy. Finally the day ...
Missing Boots
As part of my job as a preschool teacher I have to help the children put on their coats and boots. ...
A young cowboy
A young cowboy from Wyoming goes off to college, but half way through the semester, he has ...
Kids...
Another submitted story:

Ever notice how a 4 year old's voice is louder than 200 adult voices? ...

Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife
Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid ...
Church
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be ...
Ugly
I asked my Mom if I was ugly. She said, "I ...
Black or White
A little boy looks at his mum at a wedding and says, “Mummy, why is the girl dressed all in white? ...
Disney
Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney World and the Simpsons... If they ...
Graphite
Two children pieces of graphite are playing with a diamond. Mummy piece of graphite walks in and ...
Little Boy
A little boy knocks at the door and tells the owner that something of his had found its way into ...
God
A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets ...
Children
When can children see through walls? ...
School answering Machine
SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE (This is hilarious - no wonder some people were offended!) This is the ...
Grave
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his ...
Father
A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The ...
Acrobatic Dancer
As soon as she had finished parochial school, a bright young girl named Lena shook the dust of ...
The things kids say !!
The things kids say !! 1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm ...
Tragedy
Jesse Jackson is visiting a primary school and he visits one of the classes. They are in the ...
Church
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And ...
The Perfect Woman
An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so ...
Priest
A very distinguished lady on a plane from Switzerland found herself seated next to a nice priest. ...
Leaving
“I’ve had it with your silly remarks about my weight. I’m leaving you!” “But honey, ...
Fairy Tales
"Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? " " ...

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