jokes about children
- Sinned
- The girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "What is it, ...
- People
- A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, ...
- People
- A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, ...
- Dickhead
- A couple had twin sons from about one year old. The first one could talk. The second one couldn't. ...
- Parents
- Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of ...
- The Human Race
- A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?' The mother answered, 'God made ...
- A Kindergarten teacher
- A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would ...
- Tampons
- So the other day a little boy went to the Pharmacy to buy a box of tampons..
The Pharmacist asked ...
- Being parents
- Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of ...
- Spouse
- Why are people from Ohio good at finding a spouse?
Because they can go from Dayton to Marion in ...
- Logician
- A logician had a baby. His colleague asked, " ...
- Lizard
- A lizard mom is pushing her newborn down the sidewalk in a stroller when a neighbor approaches and ...
- Father
- A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The ...
- A Dog in Heat
- A little girl asked her mum, "Mum, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"
Mum replies, " ...
- A Study
- A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first graders using a bowl of ...
- Homework
- As a teacher I often send home notes with children to inform the parents that their child’s ...
- Children
- Mrs. McGervey was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father O'Flaherty.
...
- Daddy Longlegs
- A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and ...
- Fortune Teller
- A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see a fortune teller's tent. Thinking it ...
- The Perfect Woman
- An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so ...
- God
- A young woman visits her parents and brings her fiancé to meet them. After an elaborate dinner, ...
- Rain
- A girl asks her father, "Why does it rain? Is it God sweating or crying?"
"No," says her father, " ...
- Kids
- It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children ...
- Save the Children
- I'm watching TV with my father late at night 'cause he doesn't sleep. And you know that commercial ...
- God
- After Leslie brought home her fiance to meet her parents, her father invited the young man into his ...
- Priest
- A very distinguished lady on a plane from Switzerland found herself seated next to a nice priest.
...
- Italian kid
- Italian kid..
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.
The ...
- Grave
- A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started
back toward his ...
- Son
- There was a middle aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. The couple ...
- School answering Machine
- SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE (This is hilarious - no wonder some people were offended!)
This is the ...
- Acrobatic Dancer
- As soon as she had finished parochial school, a bright young girl named Lena shook the dust of ...
- Teen
- A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," ...
- Missing Boots
- As part of my job as a preschool teacher I have to help the children put on their coats and boots. ...
- Giving birth
- Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, ...
- Anger vs. Exasperation
- A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked, "Dad, what is the ...
- Children
- HOW THE BIRTH ORDER OF YOUR CHILDREN CHANGES THE WAY THINGS ARE DONE:
Your Clothes:
1st baby: ...
- An 18-year old Italian girl
- An 18-year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months.
Very ...
- Pregnant
- An 18 year-old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the ...
- The birds and the bees
- A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.
'I don't want to know,' ...
- The Way Children See Things!
- The Way Children See Things!
NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm ...
- Grocery shopping
- A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they ...
- The Affair 1
- A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.
They ...
- Kids
- A little girl and a little boy were at daycare.
The girl approached the boy and said, "Hey, Stevie, ...
- Dad
- One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking ...
- Two choices in Life
- You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
Or get married and wish you ...
- 50th wedding anniversary
- A couple were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a ...
- Apples
- Q: You have a basket with 20 apples. You have 20 hungry children. Every child should get an apple ...
- Kidnapping
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at ...
- Toy
- The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one ...
- Church
- A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be ...
- Just Like My Mom
- Manny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny just ...
- More Valentine
- Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride ...
- Child
- If a child refuses to sleep during nap ...
- Know better
- A girl from Georgia and a girl from the west coast were seated side by side on an airplane.
The ...
- Angry French Sister
- What do you call your mom's ...
- Potato
- My mom kept making fun of me for making friends with a potato.
But what does she know? He’s my ...
- Church
- A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And ...
- Graphite
- Two children pieces of graphite are playing with a diamond.
Mummy piece of graphite walks in and ...
- Wives and Husbands and more
- Wives and Husbands and more
Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband: "Nothing."
Wife: "Nothing...? ...
- Married
- Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can' ...
- Harley
- If my name was David and I had a boy, I would have to name him Harley. That way...
He could ...
- Tommy visits the Confessional
- Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman for the last three weekends."
...
- The Dentist
- A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along really well they decide to go to the girl' ...
- Spaghetti
- Spaghetti
A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, ...
- Birthday
- The moment my Mom asked me to hand out invitations for my Brother's surprise birthday party was ...
- Italian
- For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, she confided in ...
- Friends
- Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during ...
- Color of Happiness
- Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her
mother, "Why is the bride ...
- The Mall
- An Antartian boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they ...
- Physician
- An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then 4 yr. old daughter. On ...
- Perfect Girl
- A friend asked me the other day why I never got married. I replied "Well, I guess I just never met ...
- Disney
- Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney World and the Simpsons...
If they ...
- No more Children
- Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can ...
- Students
- These are actual comments made on students report cards by teachers in the New York City public ...
- The Pastors Cat
- Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church. He had a kitten that ...
- Children
- "I don't think my mom knows much about children."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because she always puts ...
- Leaving
- “I’ve had it with your silly remarks about my weight. I’m leaving you!”
“But honey, ...
- Firefighter
- A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door ...
- Little Johnny
- Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse ...
- Children
- When can children see through walls? ...
- Panties
- There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day. As the priest is walking by, he looks up ...
- Perfect
- A friend asked me the other day why I never got married. I replied "Well, I guess I just never met ...
- Damp Towel
- One day a child at my four-year-old's preschool class told her classmates that she needed a 'damp ...
- A nun and a priest
- A nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and realized halfway across that the camel they ...
- Father Murphy
- Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go ...
- Father Murphy
- Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go ...
- Catholic Dog
- Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, ...
- Grocery Store
- A man in the grocery store notices a woman with a three-year-old girl in her cart. As they pass the ...
- Amish elevator
- An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but ...
- Fairy Tales
- "Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "
" ...
- God
- A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets ...
- Kids
- At the shops a man noticed a lady eyeing his two adopted children curiously. The boy was blond, ...
- Polar Bears
- 2 polarbers are walking around in the artic. a father and son pair. The son looks at the father and ...
- Butt Dust
- What, you ask, is "Butt Dust"? Read on and you'll discover the joy in a child's sincere originality. ...
- Games to play when we're older
- Games to play when we're older:
1. Sag, you're it.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted ...
- Dark in here, isn't it?
- A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son ...
- Grey Hair
- Child: mum, why do you have grey hair?
Mum: that happens when mums have naughty kids.
Child: ah, ...
- Kite
- One day a father and son are flying a kite. The kite is going in circles and crashing. The father ...
- Boss
- My nephew was in the bathroom shaving when the phone rang, so
his four-year-old daughter, ...
- Heaven
- Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go ...
