jokes about children

An image of a girl without vs with a filter
People are eating children in this area
Nobody likes spoiled children
Youre not my real father #ladder#stepladder
Girl going target practice
it was at this moment that a parent-teacher conference was scheduled
this ginger girl is a cannibal
Picture of a girl and her dog taken from the perfect angle #centaur
A horrifying sight! #money #child #scissors
Spotted a mamma cat gently carrying her child today
this girl is pretty good with a CVS receipt
A girl/dog hybrid
Does this girl know whats on her T-shirt #ramones
happy fathers day
This girl is clearly confused #starwars #startrek
Know your limits #heavy #girl
Protecting innocent children from monsters-under-the-bed since 1902
A firm warning
This 14 year old Russian girl has been banned from the Olympics
Treat your girl like a princess #knight #alliance #france
How kids show their appreciation for their dad!
This girl goes to the ER for sure
A guy picking up a younger girl at a bar
Girl gives a giftcard for christmas so it cant be spend on drugs
Is google a boy or a girl
As a child my dinner consisted of two options
a traffic sign with a weird text
girl matches the school bathroom
You better look twice! #butt #naked
I want my first daughter to be what! #girl
never make fun of having to help me with computer stuff #children
Please read the sign Golfers #children #expose
woman going to the doctor
someone played hide and seek with his father for 20 years
Mom of sick child gets enough facebook likes for operation
Your child is being eaten by a camel
girl in bikini has no power here
girl with a champange glass in her mouth
advice to mom spend money on child not on slutty clothes
obama letting a child in on a secret
Cartoonist drawing fat girl as jabba the hut
mutual pillow dog sleeping on girl sleeping on dog
girl with shorts wearing hat
girl with cat looking like beard
nothing says I hate you more than giving someones child a drum set
duck face Elmer shooting girl
girl with shadow on her leg making it seem like she has a long penis
girl scared of dolphin
girl playing tennis cat shadow
fat girl jumping off stage
girl falling of swing
less stuff from the dollar store girl on santa's lap
flexible girl curled arms
irish girl sunbathing pale
dog peeing on girl sunbathing
girl breasts knees
Sinned
The girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "What is it, ...
People
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, ...
People
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, ...
Parents
Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of ...
Dickhead
A couple had twin sons from about one year old. The first one could talk. The second one couldn't. ...
A Kindergarten teacher
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would ...
The Human Race
A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?' The mother answered, 'God made ...
Being parents
Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of ...
Spouse
Why are people from Ohio good at finding a spouse? Because they can go from Dayton to Marion in ...
Father
A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The ...
A Dog in Heat
A little girl asked her mum, "Mum, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mum replies, " ...
A Study
A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first graders using a bowl of ...
Homework
As a teacher I often send home notes with children to inform the parents that their child’s ...
Children
Mrs. McGervey was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father O'Flaherty. ...
Daddy Longlegs
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and ...
Fortune Teller
A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see a fortune teller's tent. Thinking it ...
The Perfect Woman
An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so ...
God
A young woman visits her parents and brings her fiancé to meet them. After an elaborate dinner, ...
Kids
It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children ...
Rain
A girl asks her father, "Why does it rain? Is it God sweating or crying?" "No," says her father, " ...
Save the Children
I'm watching TV with my father late at night 'cause he doesn't sleep. And you know that commercial ...
God
After Leslie brought home her fiance to meet her parents, her father invited the young man into his ...
Priest
A very distinguished lady on a plane from Switzerland found herself seated next to a nice priest. ...
Grave
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his ...
Italian kid
Italian kid.. 'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'. The ...
Son
There was a middle aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. The couple ...
School answering Machine
SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE (This is hilarious - no wonder some people were offended!) This is the ...
Acrobatic Dancer
As soon as she had finished parochial school, a bright young girl named Lena shook the dust of ...
Teen
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up. "Wow!," ...
Missing Boots
As part of my job as a preschool teacher I have to help the children put on their coats and boots. ...
Giving birth
Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, ...
Anger vs. Exasperation
A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked, "Dad, what is the ...
Children
HOW THE BIRTH ORDER OF YOUR CHILDREN CHANGES THE WAY THINGS ARE DONE: Your Clothes: 1st baby: ...
An 18-year old Italian girl
An 18-year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very ...
Birthday
The moment my Mom asked me to hand out invitations for my Brother's surprise birthday party was ...
Pregnant
An 18 year-old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the ...
The birds and the bees
A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees. 'I don't want to know,' ...
The Way Children See Things!
The Way Children See Things! NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm ...
Grocery shopping
A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they ...
Kids
A little girl and a little boy were at daycare. The girl approached the boy and said, "Hey, Stevie, ...
The Affair 1
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They ...
Dad
One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking ...
Two choices in Life
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, Or get married and wish you ...
Apples
Q: You have a basket with 20 apples. You have 20 hungry children. Every child should get an apple ...
50th wedding anniversary
A couple were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a ...
Toy
The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one ...
Church
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be ...
Just Like My Mom
Manny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny just ...
More Valentine
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride ...
Child
If a child refuses to sleep during nap ...
Know better
A girl from Georgia and a girl from the west coast were seated side by side on an airplane. The ...
Church
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And ...
Graphite
Two children pieces of graphite are playing with a diamond. Mummy piece of graphite walks in and ...
Wives and Husbands and more
Wives and Husbands and more Wife: "What are you doing?" Husband: "Nothing." Wife: "Nothing...? ...
Married
Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can' ...
The Dentist
A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along really well they decide to go to the girl' ...
Tommy visits the Confessional
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman for the last three weekends." ...
Spaghetti
Spaghetti A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, ...
Italian
For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in ...
Friends
Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during ...
Color of Happiness
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride ...
Physician
An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then 4 yr. old daughter. On ...
Disney
Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney World and the Simpsons... If they ...
The Mall
An Antartian boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they ...
Perfect Girl
A friend asked me the other day why I never got married. I replied "Well, I guess I just never met ...
No more Children
Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can ...
Students
These are actual comments made on students report cards by teachers in the New York City public ...
Children
"I don't think my mom knows much about children." "Why do you say that?" "Because she always puts ...
The Pastors Cat
Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church. He had a kitten that ...
Leaving
“I’ve had it with your silly remarks about my weight. I’m leaving you!” “But honey, ...
Firefighter
A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door ...
Children
When can children see through walls? ...
Little Johnny
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse ...
Panties
There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day. As the priest is walking by, he looks up ...
Perfect
A friend asked me the other day why I never got married. I replied "Well, I guess I just never met ...
Damp Towel
One day a child at my four-year-old's preschool class told her classmates that she needed a 'damp ...
A nun and a priest
A nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and realized halfway across that the camel they ...
Father Murphy
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go ...
Father Murphy
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go ...
Grocery Store
A man in the grocery store notices a woman with a three-year-old girl in her cart. As they pass the ...
Catholic Dog
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, ...
Amish elevator
An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but ...
Kids
At the shops a man noticed a lady eyeing his two adopted children curiously. The boy was blond, ...
God
A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets ...
Fairy Tales
"Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? " " ...
Polar Bears
2 polarbers are walking around in the artic. a father and son pair. The son looks at the father and ...
Games to play when we're older
Games to play when we're older: 1. Sag, you're it. 2. Hide and go pee. 3. 20 questions shouted ...
Butt Dust
What, you ask, is "Butt Dust"? Read on and you'll discover the joy in a child's sincere originality. ...
Grey Hair
Child: mum, why do you have grey hair? Mum: that happens when mums have naughty kids. Child: ah, ...
Dark in here, isn't it?
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son ...
Grandparents
Grandparents Give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure. ~ ...
Boss
My nephew was in the bathroom shaving when the phone rang, so 
his four-year-old daughter, ...
Kite
One day a father and son are flying a kite. The kite is going in circles and crashing. The father ...
Children
John was a firm believer of ‘the more the merrier’. After only 10 years of marriage he already ...
Principal
Boy: Our principal so stupid Girl: Don't you know who I am? Boy: No Girl: I'm the principal's ...
Heaven
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go ...
Dead
I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of ...
Dad Joke
When does a joke become a “dad” ...
Mother of Six
A husband, who has six children, begins to call his wife “mother of six” rather than by her ...
Helping your father
A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a ...

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