Wives and Husbands and more

Wives and Husbands and more Wife: "What are you doing?" Husband: "Nothing." Wife: "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour." Husband: "I was looking for the expiration date." Wife: "Do you want dinner?" Husband: "Sure! What are my choices?" Wife: "Yes and no." Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?" Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears." Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?" Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?" Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden." Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles." Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet." Son: "Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady." Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing." Son: "But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap." A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!!" Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card." Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever. The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning." A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor."