jokes about babies

Rare photo of a baby carrot clinging to its mother before torn away by a greedy vegan

Are they trying to shoot a baby with a canon

dad with his babies playing on the console #unconnected

When moms alone with the baby and when dads alone

leave your husband alone with the baby for 10 mins

Being parents: Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of ...
Children: HOW THE BIRTH ORDER OF YOUR CHILDREN CHANGES THE WAY THINGS ARE DONE: Your Clothes: 1st baby: ...
Older Folks 2.: Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns ...
Make Babies: A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, “Mom, guess what! We learned how ...
Babies: Smaller babies may be delivered by ...
Babies: A man carried three newly born babies with him in a train. An old woman gets astonished and asked, ...
People: A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, ...
People: A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, ...
A simple math/Bird Quiz: If two storks equals two babies, and if one stork equals one baby, then what does zero storks ...
Blonde Teenager: A blonde teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told ...
Baby: A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. ...
No ears: Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When ...
Baby Planes: A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. ...
Wong: Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings out a ...
Baby: A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever ...
Parents: Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of ...
Giving Birth: A young lady in the maternity ward, just prior to labor, is asked by the midwife if she would like ...
Baby: A blonde calls a pharmacy and asks if she needs an infant scale to weigh a baby. The clerk explains ...
Baby Boy: Our baby boy was actually born on the ...
Baby: A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I ...
Baby Shower: Put in charge of organizing my friend's baby shower, I decided to send out invitations via email. ...
Baby: As the taxi raced towards the hospital, my wife cried, "The baby's coming! Don't stop the car! Won' ...
Birth: A man was about to become a father for the first time, with the baby due to arrive at some point ...
Lubricant: Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. He brought her to ...
Texas Baby: A man from Texas buys a round of drinks for everyone in the bar as he announces his wife has just ...
A Texas Baby: A Texan Is drinking in a New York Bar. He gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ...
Baby Spaceship: How do you put a baby ...
Indian: One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answers, "Well son ...
Proud to be a Swede: A Swede is drinking in a bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear ...
Surrogate Father: The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their ...
Baby sitting: A young man agreed to baby-sit one night so a single mother could have an evening out. At bedtime ...
Daughter: A woman, her husband, and their three rambunctious young sons were in their car waiting at a ...
The Affair 1: A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They ...
Baby: One night a woman found her husband standing over their newborn baby's crib. Silently, she ...
Giving birth: Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, ...
If Men Got Pregnant...: If Men Got Pregnant... * Maternity leave would last for two years...with full pay. * ...
An Arkansas Delivery: In the backwoods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor in the middle of the night. The ...
Whos your daddy?: A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor ...
Strip Club: A man went to a strip club. When he got inside he noticed a seat Conspicuously unoccupied in the ...
Deliver the Baby: Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the ...
Bodybuilder and the Blonde: A body builder picks up a blonde at a bar and takes her home with him. He takes off his shirt and ...
Weeweechu: One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ...
Makes Sense: A logician just had a baby. Her friends ...
Family Mole: Mama Mole, Papa Mole, and Baby Mole all live in a little hole. One morning Papa Mole sticks his ...
Free meat: It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, ...
Babies: Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse ...
New age Internet p*rn: New age Internet p*rn: Hey baby wanna come over to myspace so i can twitter ur yahoo till you ...
Windows: Arnold Schwarzenegger has released a statement saying he won’t be upgrading to Windows 10... He ...
Spaghetti: A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not ...
Logician: A logician had a baby. His colleague asked, " ...
Yo momma So Old Collection: Yo momma's so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake. Yo momma's so old, she farts ...
Nine Is Enough: Shortly after having her ninth baby, an Irish Catholic woman runs into her parish priest. He ...
The Perfect Woman: An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so ...
Curfew: I grew up the baby of eight kids. We grew up in a two bedroom house. My mom never had to worry ...
Grandparents: Grandparents Give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure. ~ ...
Dentist: This woman goes into a dentist's office. After he is through examining her he says: "I am sorry to ...
Corn: What did the baby corn ask the ...
Christening: After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back ...
Pregnant: As a first grade teacher, I often hear from my students things going on in their family. Harry’s ...
Pregnant: A young girl was very much interested in the progress of her mother’s pregnancy. Finally the day ...
Pregnant: When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was ...
From A Mother With Love: Dear Child, I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast. We don't live ...
Dinner: Tom was invited to his friend’s house for dinner. He found that his buddy called his wife every ...
Six months Pregnant: When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room: I was ...
The Cinema: We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a ...
Product Warnings 1: PRODUCT WARNINGS Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products: Liquid Plummer Warning: Do not ...
Wrestle: Before the final match, the Norwegian wrestling coach came to Ole and said, "Now, don't forget all ...
Lizard: A lizard mom is pushing her newborn down the sidewalk in a stroller when a neighbor approaches and ...
REAL T-shirt Slogans: REAL T-shirt Slogans 1. "Frankly Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam." (seen on Cape Cod) 2. " ...
Pretzel: Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is narrowed down to the ...
A Skunk Tale: A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the ...
The Affair 3: A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. 'Hurry,' she ...
Lawyer: For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The ...
Corn: What did the baby corn say to ...
Female Comebacks: Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: ...
Frozen skunk: A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the ...
An Englishman and a Scotsman: An Englishman and a Scotsman were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer. After a ...
Female Comebacks!: Female Comebacks! Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's ...
Who's The Father?: A lady was in the delivery room starting to deliver her baby. As it made its appearance it was dark ...
Son: There was a middle aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. The couple ...
Life Cycle: I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should start out dead and get it out of the way. Then, ...
Marine: Once a MARINE always a MARINE On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her ...
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN: TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN: 1. You get to pay the highest taxes in the world. 2. You can ...
Turpentine: A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine and shaking it up and watching all ...
Casino: Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and ...
The Life Cycle: I think the life cycle is all backwards You should start out dead and get it out of the way. ...
Things Not To Say During Childbirth....: -- Gosh, you're lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth. -- Do you ...
Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife: Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid ...
Top 17 Country Songs: Top 17 Country Songs 17. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine 16. It's Hard To Kiss the ...
Rolling the Dice: Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and ...
Halloween Riddles: Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school? He was buttering up his teacher. ...
A pregnant Blonde: My wife, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway, the other day, just jumping for joy! ...
A power outage: Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so ...
Weeweechu: It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu." Oh no, not now, ...
Toilet Paper: A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large ...
Top 10 Reasons to Know You're a Redneck: 1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife. 2. You wear specific hats to farm sales, ...
Hallmark: WHAT HALLMARK DOESN'T PRINT

So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. ...
Kid's Stories: Kid's Stories While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly ...
Four letter words: A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately ...
Spaghetti: Spaghetti A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, ...

jokes about babies

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