jokes about babies

Thats not how you hold a baby!
well thats one way of putting it #baby
She is having a baby is priced weirdly
when mom is alone with the baby vs dad
Baby its cold outside
Im going to deliver your baby
Rare photo of a baby carrot clinging to its mother before torn away by a greedy vegan
Are they trying to shoot a baby with a canon
Are they trying to shoot a baby with a canon
This baby doesnt seem to be happy
A close shave turns a man into #baby
baby on board
dad with his babies playing on the console #unconnected
When moms alone with the baby and when dads alone
Kangaroo warning baby in its pouch
dog and a baby discussing being gay
leave your husband alone with the baby for 10 mins
baby caught redhanded
stop clubbing baby seals!
Bush handing over crying baby
photobomb level dog
baby crushed smurf
baby scared by big bear
dirty baby eating pie
vanilla ice ice baby
baby scared of doll in his bed
Being parents
Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of ...
Children
HOW THE BIRTH ORDER OF YOUR CHILDREN CHANGES THE WAY THINGS ARE DONE: Your Clothes: 1st baby: ...
Older Folks 2.
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns ...
Make Babies
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, “Mom, guess what! We learned how ...
Babies
A man carried three newly born babies with him in a train. An old woman gets astonished and asked, ...
People
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, ...
People
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, ...
A simple math/Bird Quiz
If two storks equals two babies, and if one stork equals one baby, then what does zero storks ...
Blonde Teenager
A blonde teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told ...
Baby
A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. ...
No ears
Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When ...
Baby Planes
A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. ...
Wong
Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings out a ...
Baby
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever ...
Parents
Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of ...
Giving Birth
A young lady in the maternity ward, just prior to labor, is asked by the midwife if she would like ...
Baby
A blonde calls a pharmacy and asks if she needs an infant scale to weigh a baby. The clerk explains ...
Baby Boy
Our baby boy was actually born on the ...
Baby
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I ...
Baby Shower
Put in charge of organizing my friend's baby shower, I decided to send out invitations via email. ...
Baby
As the taxi raced towards the hospital, my wife cried, "The baby's coming! Don't stop the car! Won' ...
Birth
A man was about to become a father for the first time, with the baby due to arrive at some point ...
Lubricant
Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. He brought her to ...
Texas Baby
A man from Texas buys a round of drinks for everyone in the bar as he announces his wife has just ...
A Texas Baby
A Texan Is drinking in a New York Bar. He gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ...
Baby Spaceship
How do you put a baby ...
Indian
One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answers, "Well son ...
Proud to be a Swede
A Swede is drinking in a bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear ...
Surrogate Father
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their ...
Baby sitting
A young man agreed to baby-sit one night so a single mother could have an evening out. At bedtime ...
Daughter
A woman, her husband, and their three rambunctious young sons were in their car waiting at a ...
The Affair 1
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They ...
Baby
One night a woman found her husband standing over their newborn baby's crib. Silently, she ...
Giving birth
Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, ...
If Men Got Pregnant...
If Men Got Pregnant... * Maternity leave would last for two years...with full pay. * ...
An Arkansas Delivery
In the backwoods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor in the middle of the night. The ...
Whos your daddy?
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor ...
Strip Club
A man went to a strip club. When he got inside he noticed a seat Conspicuously unoccupied in the ...
Deliver the Baby
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the ...
Bodybuilder and the Blonde
A body builder picks up a blonde at a bar and takes her home with him. He takes off his shirt and ...
Weeweechu
One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ...
Makes Sense
A logician just had a baby. Her friends ...
Family Mole
Mama Mole, Papa Mole, and Baby Mole all live in a little hole. One morning Papa Mole sticks his ...
Free meat
It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, ...
Babies
Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse ...
Windows
Arnold Schwarzenegger has released a statement saying he won’t be upgrading to Windows 10... He ...
New age Internet p*rn
New age Internet p*rn: Hey baby wanna come over to myspace so i can twitter ur yahoo till you ...
Spaghetti
A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not ...
Yo momma So Old Collection
Yo momma's so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake. Yo momma's so old, she farts ...
Nine Is Enough
Shortly after having her ninth baby, an Irish Catholic woman runs into her parish priest. He ...
The Perfect Woman
An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so ...
Curfew
I grew up the baby of eight kids. We grew up in a two bedroom house. My mom never had to worry ...
Grandparents
Grandparents Give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure. ~ ...
Dentist
This woman goes into a dentist's office. After he is through examining her he says: "I am sorry to ...
Corn
What did the baby corn ask the ...
Christening
After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back ...
Pregnant
As a first grade teacher, I often hear from my students things going on in their family. Harry’s ...
Pregnant
A young girl was very much interested in the progress of her mother’s pregnancy. Finally the day ...
Pregnant
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was ...
From A Mother With Love
Dear Child, I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast. We don't live ...
Dinner
Tom was invited to his friend’s house for dinner. He found that his buddy called his wife every ...
Six months Pregnant
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room: I was ...
The Cinema
We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a ...
Wrestle
Before the final match, the Norwegian wrestling coach came to Ole and said, "Now, don't forget all ...
Product Warnings 1
PRODUCT WARNINGS Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products: Liquid Plummer Warning: Do not ...
Pretzel
Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is narrowed down to the ...
REAL T-shirt Slogans
REAL T-shirt Slogans 1. "Frankly Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam." (seen on Cape Cod) 2. " ...
A Skunk Tale
A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the ...
The Affair 3
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. 'Hurry,' she ...
Lawyer
For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The ...
Corn
What did the baby corn say to ...
Female Comebacks
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: ...
Frozen skunk
A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the ...
An Englishman and a Scotsman
An Englishman and a Scotsman were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer. After a ...
Female Comebacks!
Female Comebacks! Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's ...
Who's The Father?
A lady was in the delivery room starting to deliver her baby. As it made its appearance it was dark ...
Son
There was a middle aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. The couple ...
Life Cycle
I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should start out dead and get it out of the way. Then, ...
Marine
Once a MARINE always a MARINE On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her ...
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN: 1. You get to pay the highest taxes in the world. 2. You can ...
Turpentine
A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine and shaking it up and watching all ...
Casino
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and ...
The Life Cycle
I think the life cycle is all backwards You should start out dead and get it out of the way. ...
Things Not To Say During Childbirth....
-- Gosh, you're lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth. -- Do you ...
Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife
Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid ...
Top 17 Country Songs
Top 17 Country Songs 17. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine 16. It's Hard To Kiss the ...
Rolling the Dice
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and ...
Halloween Riddles
Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school? He was buttering up his teacher. ...
A pregnant Blonde
My wife, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway, the other day, just jumping for joy! ...
A power outage
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so ...
Weeweechu
It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu." Oh no, not now, ...
Toilet Paper
A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large ...
Top 10 Reasons to Know You're a Redneck
1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife. 2. You wear specific hats to farm sales, ...
Hallmark
WHAT HALLMARK DOESN'T PRINT

  1. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. ...
Kid's Stories
Kid's Stories While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly ...
Four letter words
A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately ...
Ponder on these imponderables for a minute:
Ponder on these imponderables for a minute: 1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him ...
Spaghetti
Spaghetti A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, ...
Italian
For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in ...
Great Female Comebacks
Great Female Comebacks Man: "Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at ...

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