jokes about work
- More Jobs
- "Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?"
"I ought to be able to. I've had ten ...
- Late for work!
- He just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day, 5, 10 minutes late. But he was a good ...
- Office Game
- Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office ...
- Sick Leave
- I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.
I ...
- Work
- At work there were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde, who worked together at the ...
- 50-50
- A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. I welcome you into the family, ...
- Newest son-in-law
- A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I ...
- The Boss
- Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss.
Each day, they noticed the ...
- Job at the Bank
- I lost my job at the bank.
A woman asked ...
- Discipline
- A frustrated father told a work colleague: “When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being ...
- Husband Store
- A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When
women go to choose a ...
- Responsible
- I went for a job interview today and the manager said,"We're looking for someone who is responsible" ...
- Electrician
- Electrician by trade, looking for work. I have to admit I'm not really good at this job and people ...
- Andy
- Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards ...
- Prison
- Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards ...
- Prison
- Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards ...
- Office Arithmatic
- OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
...
- Job
- A job applicant was asked, “What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?”
...
- At Work
- Bob Smith was sick of his job and was determined to find work elsewhere. But no matter how hard he ...
- Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't
- Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't:
10. I need to whip it out by 5.
9. ...
- Depressed
- A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't ...
- The Boss
- The boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect.
...
- Help the Wife
- Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some ...
- Work
- Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could ...
- Work
- Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%.
Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two ...
- Engineer
- A man went to school to be an engineer but after 4 years and lots of hard work, he discovered he ...
- Stopping by the Office
- Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office.
She found him with ...
- Logician
- A logician had a baby. His colleague asked, " ...
- A few Days off
- I decided that I needed a few days off and realized that I had run out of vacation time already. ...
- Farmer
- “I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer.
“All you do is boss me around all day!” complained ...
- A Dentist's Office
- A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office.
The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one ...
- Pfesident
- Steve Jobs would have been a better president than Trump.
But I guess it's not fair to compare ...
- The Shredder
- A young engineer was leaving the office at 3.45 p.m. when he found the acting CEO standing in front ...
- Post office
- A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the
grocery Store. As he waited, he was ...
- Why I fired my Secretary
- Why I fired my Secretary
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that ...
- Late
- When a man showed up at work an hour late for the second time in a week, his boss called him into ...
- Carrot
- Why did the carrot quit his job?
...
- Prison vs. Work
- -- In prison, you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell. At work, you spend most of ...
- Divorced
- Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. ...
- Divorced
- Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. ...
- Computers
- You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand ...
- Cough
- I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough." ...
- Trump
- You can really see how much Trump cares about creating jobs in this country.
The White House ...
- Tunnel
- I thought my new job digging tunnels would be ...
- Voice
- There’s a guy who lives in Ohio. One morning, he hears a voice in his head. The voice says, "Quit ...
- Don't argue with a Vet!!
- I got this story sent: One day at the veterinarian's office where I take my cat, a
man and the ...
- Excuse
- Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting ...
- Prison Vs Work
- Prison Vs Work
IN PRISON..........you spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell.
AT WORK.. ...
- Pretty Pussy
- John gets home from work one day and finds his pretty blonde wife has been crying.
"What's wrong?" ...
- Prison or Work
- IN PRISON: You spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell.
AT WORK: You spend the majority of ...
- Can Crusher
- Why did the can crusher quit his ...
- Job
- My boss told me yesterday, “Don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want”. ...
- Tired
- For a couple years I 've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but ...
- Doughnut
- Today i quit my job at the Doughnut factory..
...
- Nice
- The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million ...
- Prison vs Work
- Prison vs Work
Just in case you ever get these two environments mixed up, this should make
...
- Different
- Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, ...
- Loudspeaker
- A voice on the office loudspeaker announced: "We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it ...
- The Boss
- The boss was in a quandary; he had to get rid of one of his staff.
He had narrowed it down to one ...
- Genie
- One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a ...
- 9 to 5
- "So you currently work 9 to 5, Monday through Friday," said my boss.
"That is right," I replied.
...
- Sick Day
- A man calls in to work.
"I can't come in today.."
The boss says, "Why what's wrong?" "
My ...
- Bubba
- Bubba, an airline mechanic, was bragging to his boss one day. "You know, I know everyone there is ...
- Fired
- Why did the woman get fired from her job at ...
- History
- Two history professors have been sitting on the veranda, watching the sunset.
As they get up, one ...
- Black eyes
- A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.
The man said, ...
- Pilot
- My best friend really loves being an airplane pilot.
He tells me getting high is the best part ...
- Fishing
- A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go ...
- Girlfriend
- A young guy was complaining to his Boss about the problems he was having with his stubborn ...
- Wee
- I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough." ...
- Understanting Help Wanted Ads
- Understanting Help Wanted Ads
What we say:Competitive Salary
What we mean: We remain ...
- Camping
- Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. ...
- Cracking the Human Resource Code
- COMPETITIVE SALARY
Most of our competitors don't pay much either.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"
...
- Quit
- I quit my job as a postman on my first day, right after they handed me my first letter to deliver. ...
- Post Office
- The old man approached a young stranger in the post office and asked, "Sir, would you address this ...
- How to Please Your I.T. Department
- 01. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of ...
- The pretty young secretary
- The pretty young secretary had been transferred to the companys Dallas office.
"We operate the ...
- Church
- The church was badly in need of a coat of paint...
So the pastor decided he'd do the job himself. ...
- Thermos
- A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by ...
- Office humor
- Best Things to say if Caught Sleeping At Your Desk...
"They told me at the blood bank this might ...
- The Dentist
- A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one ...
- The top ten signs that your co-worker is a computer hacker
- 10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.
9. He's won the Publisher's ...
- Understanding Engineers
- Understanding Engineers - Take One:
Two engineering students were walking across a university ...
- Work
- They say good, honest work never did anybody any ...
- Even More Christmas Jokes
- 11. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing. It was on the house!
12. How do you help ...
- Blonde Line Painter
- A road crew supervisor hired a nice-looking blonde woman to assist with painting the yellow line ...
- Last Name
- The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What ...
- You Do The Math...
- You Do The Math...
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb ...
- THINGS YOUD LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK
- THINGS YOUD LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full ...
- Golf
- A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one ...
- Evaluation Comments
- Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee ...
- THE WASHCLOTH
- I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received ...
- Evaluation Comments
- Dictionary of Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really ...
- hygene
- A lady sent us this:
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. ...
- Older Years of Resolutions...
- RESOLUTION #1:
1999: I will read at least 20 good books a year.
2000: I will read at ...
- At Work
- At work
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.
Don't be ...
- Top 10 SIGNS your family is STRESSED...
- 10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".
9. The school ...
- Help Wanted
- A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying: "HELP WANTED. ...
- File Taxes
- A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
The ...
- 5 minute management course 3
- 5 minute management course
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are ...