jokes about computers

Kevin dressed up as a 25 year old programmer
This laptop can go in portrait mode
This guy used a unique case for his new computer
Christmas is going to be great
A programmer joke
Never let a computer know you’re in a hurry
The join queries explained
I was in a hurry this morning #laptop #toaster
never complain about your mom asking computer questions
Tech support has to fix a down computer
This laptop seems properly updated
Some people should play on a console
My reaction when someone asks me how my computer science degree is going
see what happens when you leave your computer
Sometimes you have to be a nerd to get it
never make fun of having to help me with computer stuff #children
how many people try to fix computer problems
dad with his babies playing on the console #unconnected
Parents said play outside computer screen behind window
apple laptop tape
Nintendo
I'm happy for Nintendo's success. It's like ...
Driving
A computer engineer, a systems analyst, and a programmer were driving down a mountain when the ...
RAM
The guy at the computer store may have mentioned that I needed more RAM on my laptop. But I have ...
Discipline
A frustrated father told a work colleague: “When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being ...
Computers and Air conditioners
Computers are like air conditioners. They ...
Computer
Stupid computer! I dropped my ...
Computers
You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand ...
Computer Sex
Five reasons to believe computers are female:
  1. No one but the Creator understands their ...
Computers
Ever notice the older we get, the more we're like computers? We start out with lots of memory ...
Computer
I need some help fixing my broken ...
Auto-Correct
not a fan of auto-correct. It ...
Eat Computer
How do you eat a ...
Computer
A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that, in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are ...
Nerd humor
3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later they walked out because they couldn't ...
Singing Computer
What do you call a ...
Bit Bull Computer
Q: What do you get when you try to cross a pit ...
First Computer
The first computer can be traced back to Adam & Eve. It was an Apple but with very limited ...
3 Guys
3 guys were riding in a car: a hardware technician, a systems analyst, and a programmer. The ...
Spider
I thought I saw a spider on my laptop. ...
Computers
Why computers seem female: -- No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. -- The ...
Computer Sex II
Five reasons to believe computers are male:
  1. They have a lot of data, but are still ...
Computer
Becky was 73 and just got her first computer. After her son spent over 2 hours teaching her how to ...
Pentagon
The prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the attack on the Pentagon:" ...
Jesus vs Satan
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours ...
Dead Dog
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom ...
Computer
The computer is connected to watt? Tech Support: Thanks for calling our repair shop, how may I ...
iPod
I bought a new iPod the other day and I’ve called it “The Titanic"... Now, when I plug it ...
Password rejected
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, ...
Golf
A young minister and an elderly parishoner were playing golf. The minister's game was off and the ...
Comdeian
How much memory does a comedian's ...
Open Window
“Have you been sleeping by an open window, like I told you?” asks a doctor his patient. “ ...
Drums
A jungle explorer hears drums every night. He asks his native guide what the drums are all about. ...
Password
Here's my computer password for ...
Nerd?
A guy is stranded on a desert island all alone for ten years. One day he sees a speck on the ...
Work
Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%. Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two ...
Business one-liners
Horngren's Observation: Among economists, the real world is often a special case. Hubbard's Law: ...
Frozen Windows
Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: Windows are totally ...
Rapper
Q: What did the female rapper ask the ...
Frozen
My wife texted me this morning, "Windows frozen." I responded, "Pour some lukewarm water over it." ...
Cut Workload
Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%. Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two ...
Frozen Windows
My wife texted me this morning, "Windows frozen." I responded, "Pour some lukewarm water over it." ...
Wal-Mart
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I ...
Mother
I took my mom to the computer hardware repair store. It didn't take much time to make my mother ...
Alien
Why was the thirsty alien hanging around the ...
Password
I decided to make my password "incorrect" because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, ...
Technological Doctor
Technological Doctor One day, a man complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, guess I ...
The top ten signs that your co-worker is a computer hacker
10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000. 9. He's won the Publisher's ...
A Prayer for daddy
A Prayer for daddy "Dear God, this year please send some clothes for all those poor ladies in ...
Homework
One of my third-graders came to school crying. "Jonathan's upset because he couldn't complete his ...
Car Problem
There are four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an ...
Because I'm a Man - I
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the ...
Notice
A newly married husband puts a notice in front of his home. For Sale: computer and encyclopedia, ...
Next Generation
A college student challenged a senior citizen, saying it was impossible for their generation to ...
Two Priests
Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd ...
Jesus and Satan
Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had ...
Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't
Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't: 10. I need to whip it out by 5. 9. ...
More blondes 10
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? A1: "What's a lightbulb?" A2: One. She ...
Hollywood
1. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your ...
LEXIPHILES
LEXIPHILES A lexiphile is a lover of words, in other words, people who are fascinated by words and ...
Signs You Should Join E-Mailers Anonymous
10) You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom, and check your e-mail on the way back to bed. 9) ...
Help Wanted
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying: "HELP WANTED. ...
Signs of the 21st Century
-- You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years. -- You have a list of 20 phone ...
Old computer / Car joke
At a recent computer expo (1996 COMDEX), Bill Gates compared the computer industry to the ...
French Maid
A French maid was tidying up for a wealthy computer whiz. She commented that he had a nice PC. He ...
A couple in a Car
A cop was patrolling at night in a well-known spot. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior ...
People over 35 should be dead
People over 35 should be dead. Here's why: According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, ...
How to Please Your I.T. Department
01. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of ...
Gates vs. GM
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the ...
Dumb
Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" ...
Babies
Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse ...
Four expectant fathers
Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse ...
You might be an engineer if...
You might be an engineer if... You and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the ...
My Generation vs. Your Generation
A very self-important university freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to ...
Different
Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, ...
Computerized Airliner
The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or ...
Top 20 ways to tell someone their fly is down
Top 20 ways to tell someone their fly is down 20) The cucumber has left the salad. 19) I can ...
call center conversations! part 2
call center conversations! Tech Support: 'OK... At the bottom left hand side of your screen, ...
Jocks vs Nerds
$ Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working ...
Smoke
After experiencing difficulties with his computer, a poor, incognizant user called the system maker' ...
Stress
An office manager arrives at his department and sees an employee sitting behind his desk totally ...
Punk
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom ...
Hell
Three dead men go to hell at the same time. There is a white man, a Chinese man, and a Mexican man. ...
Question
A poet and a scientist were traveling together on a plane. The scientist was bored and said to the ...
Nice
The population of this country is 300 million. 160 million are retired. That leaves 140 million ...
The boss calls
A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an ...
More blondes 7
A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. "Six, ...
Tired
For a couple years I 've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but ...
English language
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language? Let's face it ...
More blondes 14
Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE THINK OF THE NEW COMPUTER? A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get ...
Strange Young Couple
A Texas DPS Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway. He sees a couple in a car, ...
The 12-Step Program for Internet Addicts
1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I use to. 2) I will eat ...
What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Techincal Manuals
What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Techincal Manuals? If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And ...
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let ...
Defining Teenagers
A Teenager is... A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number. ...
Sheldon Cohen
A man walks to 5th Ave. & 42nd St. in New York City during a downpour and somehow manages to get a ...
Office Game
Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office ...
Honda
Mr Honda, of the Honda Motor Corporation, died and went to heaven for judgement. At the gates, St. ...
Frank who?
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just as it was going by. He gets into the taxi, ...
SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007
SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007 Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school. 1957 - ...
Your Duck is Dead
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the ...

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