jokes about computers

Christmas is going to be great
A programmer joke
Never let a computer know you’re in a hurry
The join queries explained
I was in a hurry this morning #laptop #toaster
never complain about your mom asking computer questions
Tech support has to fix a down computer
This laptop seems properly updated
Some people should play on a console
My reaction when someone asks me how my computer science degree is going
see what happens when you leave your computer
Sometimes you have to be a nerd to get it
never make fun of having to help me with computer stuff #children
how many people try to fix computer problems
dad with his babies playing on the console #unconnected
Parents said play outside computer screen behind window
apple laptop tape
Driving
A computer engineer, a systems analyst, and a programmer were driving down a mountain when the ...
Nintendo
I'm happy for Nintendo's success. It's like ...
Computers
You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand ...
Computer Sex
Five reasons to believe computers are female:
  1. No one but the Creator understands their ...
Computer
A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that, in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are ...
Discipline
A frustrated father told a work colleague: “When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being ...
Computer
Becky was 73 and just got her first computer. After her son spent over 2 hours teaching her how to ...
Computers
Why computers seem female: -- No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. -- The ...
3 Guys
3 guys were riding in a car: a hardware technician, a systems analyst, and a programmer. The ...
Computers
Ever notice the older we get, the more we're like computers? We start out with lots of memory ...
Computer Sex II
Five reasons to believe computers are male:
  1. They have a lot of data, but are still ...
Jesus vs Satan
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours ...
Computers and Air conditioners
Computers are like air conditioners. They ...
First Computer
The first computer can be traced back to Adam & Eve. It was an Apple but with very limited ...
Nerd humor
3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later they walked out because they couldn't ...
Computer
The computer is connected to watt? Tech Support: Thanks for calling our repair shop, how may I ...
Nerd?
A guy is stranded on a desert island all alone for ten years. One day he sees a speck on the ...
Password rejected
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, ...
Pentagon
The prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the attack on the Pentagon:" ...
Dead Dog
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom ...
Bit Bull Computer
Q: What do you get when you try to cross a pit ...
Golf
A young minister and an elderly parishoner were playing golf. The minister's game was off and the ...
Technological Doctor
Technological Doctor One day, a man complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, guess I ...
Wal-Mart
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I ...
Two Priests
Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd ...
Open Window
“Have you been sleeping by an open window, like I told you?” asks a doctor his patient. “ ...
Singing Computer
What do you call a ...
iPod
I bought a new iPod the other day and I’ve called it “The Titanic"... Now, when I plug it ...
Because I'm a Man - I
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the ...
Jesus and Satan
Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had ...
The top ten signs that your co-worker is a computer hacker
10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000. 9. He's won the Publisher's ...
LEXIPHILES
LEXIPHILES A lexiphile is a lover of words, in other words, people who are fascinated by words and ...
Car Problem
There are four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an ...
Drums
A jungle explorer hears drums every night. He asks his native guide what the drums are all about. ...
More blondes 10
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? A1: "What's a lightbulb?" A2: One. She ...
Hollywood
1. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your ...
Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't
Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't: 10. I need to whip it out by 5. 9. ...
Frozen Windows
Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: Windows are totally ...
How to Please Your I.T. Department
01. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of ...
Work
Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%. Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two ...
Help Wanted
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying: "HELP WANTED. ...
Old computer / Car joke
At a recent computer expo (1996 COMDEX), Bill Gates compared the computer industry to the ...
People over 35 should be dead
People over 35 should be dead. Here's why: According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, ...
Next Generation
A college student challenged a senior citizen, saying it was impossible for their generation to ...
Dumb
Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" ...
Signs You Should Join E-Mailers Anonymous
10) You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom, and check your e-mail on the way back to bed. 9) ...
Gates vs. GM
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the ...
Mother
I took my mom to the computer hardware repair store. It didn't take much time to make my mother ...
Cut Workload
Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%. Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two ...
Alien
Why was the thirsty alien hanging around the ...
call center conversations! part 2
call center conversations! Tech Support: 'OK... At the bottom left hand side of your screen, ...
Homework
One of my third-graders came to school crying. "Jonathan's upset because he couldn't complete his ...
Top 20 ways to tell someone their fly is down
Top 20 ways to tell someone their fly is down 20) The cucumber has left the salad. 19) I can ...
Jocks vs Nerds
$ Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working ...
A Prayer for daddy
A Prayer for daddy "Dear God, this year please send some clothes for all those poor ladies in ...
Signs of the 21st Century
-- You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years. -- You have a list of 20 phone ...
Notice
A newly married husband puts a notice in front of his home. For Sale: computer and encyclopedia, ...
French Maid
A French maid was tidying up for a wealthy computer whiz. She commented that he had a nice PC. He ...
Password
I decided to make my password "incorrect" because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, ...
Babies
Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse ...
You might be an engineer if...
You might be an engineer if... You and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the ...
Smoke
After experiencing difficulties with his computer, a poor, incognizant user called the system maker' ...
Four expectant fathers
Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse ...
Different
Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, ...
My Generation vs. Your Generation
A very self-important university freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to ...
A couple in a Car
A cop was patrolling at night in a well-known spot. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior ...
Question
A poet and a scientist were traveling together on a plane. The scientist was bored and said to the ...
Punk
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom ...
More blondes 14
Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE THINK OF THE NEW COMPUTER? A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get ...
Stress
An office manager arrives at his department and sees an employee sitting behind his desk totally ...
Hell
Three dead men go to hell at the same time. There is a white man, a Chinese man, and a Mexican man. ...
More blondes 7
A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. "Six, ...
The 12-Step Program for Internet Addicts
1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I use to. 2) I will eat ...
English language
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language? Let's face it ...
Tired
For a couple years I 've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but ...
Nice
The population of this country is 300 million. 160 million are retired. That leaves 140 million ...
Computerized Airliner
The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or ...
The boss calls
A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an ...
Office Game
Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office ...
Sheldon Cohen
A man walks to 5th Ave. & 42nd St. in New York City during a downpour and somehow manages to get a ...
Honda
Mr Honda, of the Honda Motor Corporation, died and went to heaven for judgement. At the gates, St. ...
Strange Young Couple
A Texas DPS Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway. He sees a couple in a car, ...
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let ...
What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Techincal Manuals
What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Techincal Manuals? If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And ...
Defining Teenagers
A Teenager is... A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number. ...
Seems to make sense part 2
-Laugh at your problems, everybody else does. -Artificial intelligence is no match for natural ...
Frank who?
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just as it was going by. He gets into the taxi, ...
Your Duck is Dead
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the ...
Adult Truths
Adult Truths 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your ...
SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007
SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007 Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school. 1957 - ...
A great email to forward to friends...
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly ...
English is easy???
You think English is easy??? Read to the end .. . . A new twist 1) The bandage was wound ...
Why the US is in deep trouble
Why the US is in deep trouble A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why. 1. I ...
Memo from Accounting Department
It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in time sheets that ...

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