jokes about computers
- Nintendo
- I'm happy for Nintendo's success.
It's like ...
- Driving
- A computer engineer, a systems analyst, and a programmer were driving down a mountain when the ...
- RAM
- The guy at the computer store may have mentioned that I needed more RAM on my laptop.
But I have ...
- Discipline
- A frustrated father told a work colleague: “When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being ...
- Computers and Air conditioners
- Computers are like air conditioners.
They ...
- Computer
- Stupid computer!
I dropped my ...
- Computers
- You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand ...
- Computer Sex
- Five reasons to believe computers are female:
- No one but the Creator understands their ...
- Computers
- Ever notice the older we get, the more we're like computers?
We start out with lots of memory ...
- Computer
- I need some help fixing my broken ...
- Auto-Correct
- not a fan of auto-correct.
It ...
- Eat Computer
- How do you eat a ...
- Computer
- A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that, in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are ...
- Nerd humor
- 3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later they walked out because they couldn't ...
- Singing Computer
- What do you call a ...
- Computer
- Why did the husband and wife get a new computer?
Because the old one couldn’t handle their “ ...
- Bit Bull Computer
- Q: What do you get when you try to cross a pit ...
- First Computer
- The first computer can be traced back to Adam & Eve.
It was an Apple but with very limited ...
- 3 Guys
- 3 guys were riding in a car: a hardware technician, a systems analyst, and a programmer. The ...
- Old Computer
- Why is an old computer like a lawn mower?
Because they both take forever to start, and when they ...
- Spider
- I thought I saw a spider on my laptop. ...
- Computers
- Why computers seem female:
-- No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
-- The ...
- Computer Sex II
- Five reasons to believe computers are male:
- They have a lot of data, but are still ...
- Computer
- Becky was 73 and just got her first computer. After her son spent over 2 hours teaching her how to ...
- Pentagon
- The prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the attack on the Pentagon:" ...
- Jesus vs Satan
- Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours ...
- Dead Dog
- Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom ...
- iPod
- I bought a new iPod the other day and I’ve called it “The Titanic"...
Now, when I plug it ...
- Computer
- The computer is connected to watt?
Tech Support: Thanks for calling our repair shop, how may I ...
- Password rejected
- A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, ...
- Golf
- A young minister and an elderly parishoner were playing golf. The minister's game was off and the ...
- Open Window
- “Have you been sleeping by an open window, like I told you?” asks a doctor his patient.
“ ...
- Comdeian
- How much memory does a comedian's ...
- Drums
- A jungle explorer hears drums every night. He asks his native guide what the drums are all about. ...
- Password
- Here's my computer password for ...
- Nerd?
- A guy is stranded on a desert island all alone for ten years.
One day he sees a speck on the ...
- Business one-liners
- Horngren's Observation: Among economists, the real world is often a special case.
Hubbard's Law: ...
- Work
- Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%.
Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two ...
- Frozen Windows
- Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: Windows are totally ...
- Rapper
- Q: What did the female rapper ask the ...
- Frozen
- My wife texted me this morning, "Windows frozen." I responded, "Pour some lukewarm water over it." ...
- Cut Workload
- Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%.
Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two ...
- Frozen Windows
- My wife texted me this morning, "Windows frozen." I responded, "Pour some lukewarm water over it." ...
- Wal-Mart
- One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I ...
- Mother
- I took my mom to the computer hardware repair store.
It didn't take much time to make my mother ...
- Alien
- Why was the thirsty alien hanging around the ...
- Password
- I decided to make my password "incorrect" because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, ...
- Technological Doctor
- Technological Doctor
One day, a man complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, guess I ...
- The top ten signs that your co-worker is a computer hacker
- 10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.
9. He's won the Publisher's ...
- A Prayer for daddy
- A Prayer for daddy
"Dear God, this year please send some clothes for all those poor ladies in ...
- Homework
- One of my third-graders came to school crying.
"Jonathan's upset because he couldn't complete his ...
- Because I'm a Man - I
- Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the ...
- Car Problem
- There are four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an ...
- Next Generation
- A college student challenged a senior citizen, saying it was impossible for their generation to ...
- Notice
- A newly married husband puts a notice in front of his home.
For Sale: computer and encyclopedia, ...
- Two Priests
- Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, "I'd ...
- Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't
- Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't:
10. I need to whip it out by 5.
9. ...
- Jesus and Satan
- Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had ...
- Hollywood
- 1. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your ...
- More blondes 10
- Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: "What's a lightbulb?"
A2: One. She ...
- LEXIPHILES
- LEXIPHILES
A lexiphile is a lover of words, in other words, people who are fascinated by words and ...
- Signs You Should Join E-Mailers Anonymous
- 10) You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom, and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
9) ...
- Help Wanted
- A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying: "HELP WANTED. ...
- Signs of the 21st Century
- -- You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.
-- You have a list of 20 phone ...
- Old computer / Car joke
- At a recent computer expo (1996 COMDEX), Bill Gates compared the computer industry to the ...
- French Maid
- A French maid was tidying up for a wealthy computer whiz. She commented that he had a nice PC. He ...
- A couple in a Car
- A cop was patrolling at night in a well-known spot. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior ...
- People over 35 should be dead
- People over 35 should be dead. Here's why:
According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, ...
- How to Please Your I.T. Department
- 01. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of ...
- Gates vs. GM
- At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the ...
- Dumb
- Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" ...
- Babies
- Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse ...
- Four expectant fathers
- Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse ...
- You might be an engineer if...
- You might be an engineer if...
You and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the ...
- My Generation vs. Your Generation
- A very self-important university freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to ...
- Different
- Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, ...
- Top 20 ways to tell someone their fly is down
- Top 20 ways to tell someone their fly is down
20) The cucumber has left the salad.
19) I can ...
- Computerized Airliner
- The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden
flight without pilots or ...
- Jocks vs Nerds
- $ Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working ...
- call center conversations! part 2
- call center conversations!
Tech Support: 'OK... At the bottom left hand side of your screen, ...
- Smoke
- After experiencing difficulties with his computer, a poor, incognizant user called the system maker' ...
- Stress
- An office manager arrives at his department and sees an employee sitting behind his desk totally ...
- Punk
- I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom ...
- Hell
- Three dead men go to hell at the same time. There is a white man, a Chinese man, and a Mexican man. ...
- Question
- A poet and a scientist were traveling together on a plane. The scientist was bored and said to the ...
- Nice
- The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million ...
- The boss calls
- A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an ...
- More blondes 7
- A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. "Six, ...
- Tired
- For a couple years I 've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but ...
- English language
- Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
Let's face it ...
- More blondes 14
- Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE THINK OF THE NEW COMPUTER?
A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get ...
- Strange Young Couple
- A Texas DPS Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway.
He sees a couple in a car, ...
- The 12-Step Program for Internet Addicts
- 1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I use to.
2) I will eat ...
- What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Techincal Manuals
- What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Techincal Manuals?
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And ...
- HOW TO STAY YOUNG
- HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let ...
- Defining Teenagers
- A Teenager is...
A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.
...
- Sheldon Cohen
- A man walks to 5th Ave. & 42nd St. in New York City during a downpour and somehow manages to get a ...
- Office Game
- Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office ...
- Honda
- Mr Honda, of the Honda Motor Corporation, died and went to heaven for judgement. At the gates, St. ...
- SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007
- SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - ...
