jokes about job

why do you want this job
No, that’s now how you work out
You had one job #misprint
Girl going target practice
This work center has been accident free #joe
Some jobs you can spend the rest of your life doing #parashute
My boss bought a new car
The irony at Walmart’s Investing in American jobs
And suddenly Bob found himself the topic of all the office gossip
that moment when you realize its going to be difficult to explain why youre late for work
A womans work is never done
This is crowd surfing like a boss #concert #music
the first 5 days #work
the difference between a boss and a leader
this stuff doesnt work #dog
These will definitely work! #bacardi #vodka
Dog failing like a boss jumping a fence
sorry I cant go to work today I fractured my motivation
motion sensors at work
guy gaming at work having to fight boss
T-rex has too tiny arms to change the water bottle
Horn taped under chair
we all know that guy doing nothing while others work
space mountain thrillride
More Jobs
"Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?" "I ought to be able to. I've had ten ...
Sick Leave
I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I ...
Late for work!
He just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day, 5, 10 minutes late. But he was a good ...
Work
At work there were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde, who worked together at the ...
The Boss
Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the ...
The Boss
The boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. ...
Help the Wife
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some ...
Office Arithmatic
OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production ...
Bubba
Bubba, an airline mechanic, was bragging to his boss one day. "You know, I know everyone there is ...
Husband Store
A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a ...
The Boss
The boss was in a quandary; he had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one ...
Cough
I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough." ...
A few Days off
I decided that I needed a few days off and realized that I had run out of vacation time already. ...
Excuse
Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting ...
Office Game
Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office ...
Sick Day
A man calls in to work. "I can't come in today.." The boss says, "Why what's wrong?" " My ...
Boss
My boss is like school ...
The boss calls
A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an ...
Black eyes
A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man said, ...
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE INSANE
1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 2. Find out where your boss shops ...
Girlfriend
A young guy was complaining to his Boss about the problems he was having with his stubborn ...
Discipline
A frustrated father told a work colleague: “When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being ...
A young guy from Missouri
A young guy from Missouri moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under the roof department ...
Life after Death
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir," the clerk ...
Fishing
A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go ...
Work
Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could ...
New Job
Boss (to the new employee): We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as ...
Thermos
A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by ...
You Do The Math...
You Do The Math... ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb ...
Overpaid
An employee approached his boss regarding a dispute on his pay-check… Employee – Sir, this is ...
New Job
Pat and Mick have just started their job installing telegraph poles. At the end of the first week ...
Pfesident
Steve Jobs would have been a better president than Trump. But I guess it's not fair to compare ...
Job
My boss told me yesterday, “Don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want”. ...
Boss
My nephew was in the bathroom shaving when the phone rang, so 
his four-year-old daughter, ...
Andy
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards ...
Prison
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards ...
Trump
You can really see how much Trump cares about creating jobs in this country. The White House ...
Computer
Becky was 73 and just got her first computer. After her son spent over 2 hours teaching her how to ...
Why I fired my Secretary
Why I fired my Secretary Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that ...
The Shredder
A young engineer was leaving the office at 3.45 p.m. when he found the acting CEO standing in front ...
Older Years of Resolutions...
RESOLUTION #1: 1999: I will read at least 20 good books a year. 2000: I will read at ...
Homeless
I had an encounter with a homeless man last year that I'll never forget. That day, my boss ...
The pretty young secretary
The pretty young secretary had been transferred to the companys Dallas office. "We operate the ...
Divorced
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. ...
Divorced
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. ...
Camping
Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. ...
Engineer
A man went to school to be an engineer but after 4 years and lots of hard work, he discovered he ...
Software
My old boss had spent some time writing software packages for this particular program. The software ...
At a Bistro
A woman is approaching a very small Bistro. She calls the barkeeper and when he is standing in ...
LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE
LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with ...
50-50
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. I welcome you into the family,â ...
Understanting Help Wanted Ads
Understanting Help Wanted Ads What we say:Competitive Salary What we mean: We remain ...
Newest son-in-law
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I ...
Cracking the Human Resource Code
COMPETITIVE SALARY Most of our competitors don't pay much either. "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY" ...
Kids Jokes
Boss: Where were you born? Sardarji: India. Boss: Which part? Sardarji: What do you mean which ...
Responsibility
My boss decided to give me some more responsibility. From now on, I'm responsible for everything ...
Afternoon
My boss told me to have a good ...
5 minute management course 3
5 minute management course Lesson 3: A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are ...
Top 10 SIGNS your family is STRESSED...
10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk". 9. The school ...
Married
This man was talking to a group of men at a bar and he said, "In my house I am the boss, I say when ...
Dilbert Quotes
A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes ...
Biker
A little guy is sitting at the bar staring at his drink when a large, threateningly leering biker ...
Biker Trouble
A guy was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next ...
Lay off
A company boss has to decide who to lay off. He decides on two low level management employees Jack ...
Bubble Wrap
“Where do you want this big roll of bubble wrap?” I asked my boss. “Just pop it in the ...
Different
Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, ...
Why athletes cannot hold real jobs
Why athletes cannot hold real jobs New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the ...
More blondes 12
Q: WHY ARE BLONDES LIKE PIANOS? A: When they aren't upright, they're grand. Q: What do you call ...
Zoo
This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it happened, their star attraction, a ...
Company Bulletin Board
Sign on company bulletin board: “This firm requires no physical-fitness program. Everyone gets ...
How to Please Your I.T. Department
01. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of ...
All the organs
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. " ...
Paint the Porch
A blonde moves to Beverly Hills, hoping to find an acting job. After a couple weeks with no luck, ...
Farmer
"I love my job!" said the farmer "All you do is boss us around all day" said the sheep "What ...
Understanding Engineers
Understanding Engineers - Take One: Two engineering students were walking across a university ...
Bored?
Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time. ...
Carrot
Why did the carrot quit his job? ...
At Work
Bob Smith was sick of his job and was determined to find work elsewhere. But no matter how hard he ...
Einstein
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself ...
Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't
Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't: 10. I need to whip it out by 5. 9. ...
Depressed
A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't ...
Work
Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%. Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two ...
Parrots
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section ...
Memo from Accounting Department
It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in time sheets that ...
Calling in Sick
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my illness, I always ...
Pilot
My best friend really loves being an airplane pilot. He tells me getting high is the best part ...
Stopping by the Office
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. She found him with ...
You know you're living in 2004 when...
You know you're living in 2004 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. ...
Understanding Engineers
Understanding Engineers - One Two engineering students were walking across a university campus ...
Slacker
Harley Davidson, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined ...
A Dentist's Office
A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one ...
Post office
A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery Store. As he waited, he was ...
Definitions II
Definitions II 13)Experience : The name men give to their mistakes 14)Philosopher : A fool ...
Farmer's Daughters
There once was a farmer who was raising 3 daughters on his own. He was very concerned about their ...
The Wine Tester
In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to ...
Organ meeting
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. ...
Computers
You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand ...
Prison vs. Work
-- In prison, you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell. At work, you spend most of ...
Don't argue with a Vet!!
I got this story sent: One day at the veterinarian's office where I take my cat, a man and the ...
Prison Vs Work
Prison Vs Work IN PRISON..........you spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell. AT WORK.. ...

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