jokes about job

Welcome to my offish @office
You literally had one job
All employees must stop crying before returning to work
I left my job today
Someone didnt do their job right
Men at work, except John
Unfortunate mistake
Restaurant logo here
Office of the Sheriff in Monroe County posted this coyote warning
How different thought processes work
I’m going to work on myself
Dryer doing a good job
Someone didnt comply with a request not to place googly eyes all over the office
A butcher at work
Nice try, but this attempt wont cut it
Plan B hockey club for when protests dont work
why do you want this job
No, that’s now how you work out
You had one job #misprint
Girl going target practice
Guard got caught sleeping on the job
This work center has been accident free #joe
Someone did a good job on this police car
Some jobs you can spend the rest of your life doing #parashute
My boss bought a new car
Telephone poles are trees with a job
The irony at Walmart’s Investing in American jobs
Contractors did not do a good job on this chandelier
And suddenly Bob found himself the topic of all the office gossip
Construction stairs can be pretty confusing
How to quit your job like a pro
Why is there a two year gap in your CV
that moment when you realize its going to be difficult to explain why youre late for work
Sometimes the best thing about my job is
A womans work is never done
This is crowd surfing like a boss #concert #music
the first 5 days #work
IKEA job interview #seat
Adam is looking for a job #billboard
the difference between a boss and a leader
this stuff doesnt work #dog
These will definitely work! #bacardi #vodka
I you werent so stupid #job
Dog failing like a boss jumping a fence
sorry I cant go to work today I fractured my motivation
motion sensors at work
guy gaming at work having to fight boss
T-rex has too tiny arms to change the water bottle
Horn taped under chair
we all know that guy doing nothing while others work
mondays arent so bad its your job that sucks
space mountain thrillride
More Jobs
"Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?" "I ought to be able to. I've had ten ...
Office Arithmatic
OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production ...
Late for work!
He just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day, 5, 10 minutes late. But he was a good ...
Job
My boss told me yesterday, “Don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want”. ...
Boss
My boss is like school ...
Smith
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy ...
The Boss
The boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. ...
Wee
I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough." ...
Cough
I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough." ...
Help the Wife
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some ...
Work
At work there were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde, who worked together at the ...
Sick Leave
I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I ...
Sick Day
A man calls in to work. "I can't come in today.." The boss says, "Why what's wrong?" " My ...
New Job
Boss (to the new employee): We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as ...
Logician
A logician had a baby. His colleague asked, " ...
New Job
Pat and Mick have just started their job installing telegraph poles. At the end of the first week ...
The Boss
Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the ...
Work
Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could ...
Discipline
A frustrated father told a work colleague: “When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being ...
Pfesident
Steve Jobs would have been a better president than Trump. But I guess it's not fair to compare ...
9 to 5
"So you currently work 9 to 5, Monday through Friday," said my boss. "That is right," I replied. ...
Husband Store
A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a ...
Trump
You can really see how much Trump cares about creating jobs in this country. The White House ...
History
Two history professors have been sitting on the veranda, watching the sunset. As they get up, one ...
Late
When a man showed up at work an hour late for the second time in a week, his boss called him into ...
Life after Death
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir," the clerk ...
Excuse
Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting ...
The Boss
The boss was in a quandary; he had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one ...
Black eyes
A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man said, ...
Girlfriend
A young guy was complaining to his Boss about the problems he was having with his stubborn ...
Overpaid
An employee approached his boss regarding a dispute on his pay-check… Employee – Sir, this is ...
Boss
My nephew was in the bathroom shaving when the phone rang, so 
his four-year-old daughter, ...
The boss calls
A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an ...
A few Days off
I decided that I needed a few days off and realized that I had run out of vacation time already. ...
Seat
Every time I go to talk with my boss, he politely asks me to take a seat in his office. It was ...
A young guy from Missouri
A young guy from Missouri moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under the roof department ...
Fishing
A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go ...
Bubba
Bubba, an airline mechanic, was bragging to his boss one day. "You know, I know everyone there is ...
Farmer
“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained ...
Prison
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards ...
Andy
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards ...
Prison
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards ...
The pretty young secretary
The pretty young secretary had been transferred to the companys Dallas office. "We operate the ...
Farmer
"I love my job!" said the farmer "All you do is boss us around all day" said the sheep "What ...
Office Game
Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office ...
Afternoon
My boss told me to have a good ...
Thermos
A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by ...
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE INSANE
1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 2. Find out where your boss shops ...
Responsibility
My boss decided to give me some more responsibility. From now on, I'm responsible for everything ...
Engineer
A man went to school to be an engineer but after 4 years and lots of hard work, he discovered he ...
The Shredder
A young engineer was leaving the office at 3.45 p.m. when he found the acting CEO standing in front ...
A Job
I've found a job helping a one armed ...
You Do The Math...
You Do The Math... ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb ...
Best salesman, ever!
A young man from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department ...
Camping
Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. ...
Running Late
I told my boss I was running late. "Unless your ambition is to be fired," he said, "I want you ...
Divorced
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. ...
Divorced
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. ...
Cracking the Human Resource Code
COMPETITIVE SALARY Most of our competitors don't pay much either. "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY" ...
Bubble Wrap
“Where do you want this big roll of bubble wrap?” I asked my boss. “Just pop it in the ...
Older Years of Resolutions...
RESOLUTION #1: 1999: I will read at least 20 good books a year. 2000: I will read at ...
Understanting Help Wanted Ads
Understanting Help Wanted Ads What we say:Competitive Salary What we mean: We remain ...
Christmas Job
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit. ...
At Work
Bob Smith was sick of his job and was determined to find work elsewhere. But no matter how hard he ...
Why I fired my Secretary
Why I fired my Secretary Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that ...
Memo from Accounting Department
It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in time sheets that ...
Company Bulletin Board
Sign on company bulletin board: “This firm requires no physical-fitness program. Everyone gets ...
Software
My old boss had spent some time writing software packages for this particular program. The software ...
Paint the Porch
A blonde moves to Beverly Hills, hoping to find an acting job. After a couple weeks with no luck, ...
Lay off
A company boss has to decide who to lay off. He decides on two low level management employees Jack ...
Computer
Becky was 73 and just got her first computer. After her son spent over 2 hours teaching her how to ...
50-50
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. I welcome you into the family, ...
Work
Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%. Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two ...
At a Bistro
A woman is approaching a very small Bistro. She calls the barkeeper and when he is standing in ...
Homeless
I had an encounter with a homeless man last year that I'll never forget. That day, my boss ...
Zoo
This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it happened, their star attraction, a ...
Newest son-in-law
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I ...
Married
This man was talking to a group of men at a bar and he said, "In my house I am the boss, I say when ...
Top 10 SIGNS your family is STRESSED...
10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk". 9. The school ...
LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE
LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with ...
How to Please Your I.T. Department
01. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of ...
Job
Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible." Applicant: "I'm the one ...
5 minute management course 3
5 minute management course Lesson 3: A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are ...
Number 11
This is the story of a man who has a pretty classic life. Single, he has a normal job in a bank, ...
Blonde Line Painter
A road crew supervisor hired a nice-looking blonde woman to assist with painting the yellow line ...
Duck
A duck walks into a job center and says to the man behind the desk 'Excuse me; I'm looking for a ...
Job
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. It's ...
Kids Jokes
Boss: Where were you born? Sardarji: India. Boss: Which part? Sardarji: What do you mean which ...
Work
I woke up suddenly terrified I'm late for work. ...
Job Interview
Job interview in a psychiatry: So you’re interested in working with us. What is your ...
Electrician
Electrician by trade, looking for work. I have to admit I'm not really good at this job and people ...
job
I recently quit my job as an Helicopter ...
Drinking At Work
Here's a few great reasons to allow drinking in the workplace... 1. It's an incentive to show up. ...
Job
My first job was working at an orange juice factory ..but, I got canned because I couldn’t ...
The Wine Tester
In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to ...
Stopping by the Office
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. She found him with ...
Different
Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, ...
Work
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with ...
Dilbert Quotes
A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes ...
Tired
For a couple years I 've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but ...

Search Amazing Jokes: