jokes about job
- More Jobs
- "Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?"
"I ought to be able to. I've had ten ...
- Office Arithmatic
- OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
...
- Late for work!
- He just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day, 5, 10 minutes late. But he was a good ...
- Boss
- My boss is like school ...
- Job
- My boss told me yesterday, “Don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want”. ...
- The Boss
- The boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect.
...
- Wee
- I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough." ...
- Cough
- I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough." ...
- Help the Wife
- Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some ...
- Work
- At work there were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde, who worked together at the ...
- Sick Leave
- I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.
I ...
- Sick Day
- A man calls in to work.
"I can't come in today.."
The boss says, "Why what's wrong?" "
My ...
- New Job
- Boss (to the new employee): We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as ...
- Logician
- A logician had a baby. His colleague asked, " ...
- New Job
- Pat and Mick have just started their job installing telegraph poles. At the end of the first week ...
- The Boss
- Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss.
Each day, they noticed the ...
- Work
- Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could ...
- Discipline
- A frustrated father told a work colleague: “When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being ...
- Pfesident
- Steve Jobs would have been a better president than Trump.
But I guess it's not fair to compare ...
- 9 to 5
- "So you currently work 9 to 5, Monday through Friday," said my boss.
"That is right," I replied.
...
- Husband Store
- A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When
women go to choose a ...
- Life after Death
- "Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.
"Yes, sir," the clerk ...
- Late
- When a man showed up at work an hour late for the second time in a week, his boss called him into ...
- Trump
- You can really see how much Trump cares about creating jobs in this country.
The White House ...
- History
- Two history professors have been sitting on the veranda, watching the sunset.
As they get up, one ...
- Excuse
- Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting ...
- The Boss
- The boss was in a quandary; he had to get rid of one of his staff.
He had narrowed it down to one ...
- Black eyes
- A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.
The man said, ...
- Girlfriend
- A young guy was complaining to his Boss about the problems he was having with his stubborn ...
- Overpaid
- An employee approached his boss regarding a dispute on his pay-check…
Employee – Sir, this is ...
- Boss
- My nephew was in the bathroom shaving when the phone rang, so
his four-year-old daughter, ...
- The boss calls
- A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an ...
- A few Days off
- I decided that I needed a few days off and realized that I had run out of vacation time already. ...
- A young guy from Missouri
- A young guy from Missouri moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under the roof department ...
- Fishing
- A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go ...
- Bubba
- Bubba, an airline mechanic, was bragging to his boss one day. "You know, I know everyone there is ...
- Farmer
- “I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer.
“All you do is boss me around all day!” complained ...
- The pretty young secretary
- The pretty young secretary had been transferred to the companys Dallas office.
"We operate the ...
- Prison
- Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards ...
- Andy
- Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards ...
- Prison
- Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards ...
- Farmer
- "I love my job!" said the farmer
"All you do is boss us around all day" said the sheep
"What ...
- Afternoon
- My boss told me to have a good ...
- Thermos
- A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by ...
- Office Game
- Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office ...
- HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE INSANE
- 1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
2. Find out where your boss shops ...
- Responsibility
- My boss decided to give me some more responsibility.
From now on, I'm responsible for everything ...
- Engineer
- A man went to school to be an engineer but after 4 years and lots of hard work, he discovered he ...
- The Shredder
- A young engineer was leaving the office at 3.45 p.m. when he found the acting CEO standing in front ...
- You Do The Math...
- You Do The Math...
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb ...
- A Job
- I've found a job helping a one armed ...
- Running Late
- I told my boss I was running late.
"Unless your ambition is to be fired," he said, "I want you ...
- Camping
- Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. ...
- Divorced
- Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. ...
- Divorced
- Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. ...
- Cracking the Human Resource Code
- COMPETITIVE SALARY
Most of our competitors don't pay much either.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"
...
- Bubble Wrap
- “Where do you want this big roll of bubble wrap?” I asked my boss.
“Just pop it in the ...
- Older Years of Resolutions...
- RESOLUTION #1:
1999: I will read at least 20 good books a year.
2000: I will read at ...
- Understanting Help Wanted Ads
- Understanting Help Wanted Ads
What we say:Competitive Salary
What we mean: We remain ...
- Christmas Job
- How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit. ...
- Company Bulletin Board
- Sign on company bulletin board: “This firm requires no physical-fitness program. Everyone gets ...
- At Work
- Bob Smith was sick of his job and was determined to find work elsewhere. But no matter how hard he ...
- Why I fired my Secretary
- Why I fired my Secretary
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that ...
- Memo from Accounting Department
- It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in time sheets that ...
- Software
- My old boss had spent some time writing software packages for this particular program. The software ...
- Lay off
- A company boss has to decide who to lay off. He decides on two low level management employees Jack ...
- Paint the Porch
- A blonde moves to Beverly Hills, hoping to find an acting job. After a couple weeks with no luck, ...
- Computer
- Becky was 73 and just got her first computer. After her son spent over 2 hours teaching her how to ...
- 50-50
- A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. I welcome you into the family, ...
- At a Bistro
- A woman is approaching a very small Bistro. She calls the barkeeper and when he is standing in ...
- Homeless
- I had an encounter with a homeless man last year that I'll never forget.
That day, my boss ...
- Work
- Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%.
Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two ...
- Zoo
- This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it happened, their star attraction, a ...
- Married
- This man was talking to a group of men at a bar and he said, "In my house I am the boss, I say when ...
- Newest son-in-law
- A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I ...
- LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE
- LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with ...
- Top 10 SIGNS your family is STRESSED...
- 10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".
9. The school ...
- 5 minute management course 3
- 5 minute management course
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are ...
- Job
- Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."
Applicant: "I'm the one ...
- How to Please Your I.T. Department
- 01. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of ...
- Number 11
- This is the story of a man who has a pretty classic life. Single, he has a normal job in a bank, ...
- Blonde Line Painter
- A road crew supervisor hired a nice-looking blonde woman to assist with painting the yellow line ...
- Kids Jokes
- Boss: Where were you born?
Sardarji: India.
Boss: Which part?
Sardarji: What do you mean which ...
- Duck
- A duck walks into a job center and says to the man behind the desk 'Excuse me; I'm looking for a ...
- Job
- I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. It's ...
- Job Interview
- Job interview in a psychiatry:
So you’re interested in working with us. What is your ...
- Electrician
- Electrician by trade, looking for work. I have to admit I'm not really good at this job and people ...
- The Wine Tester
- In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to ...
- Drinking At Work
- Here's a few great reasons to allow drinking in the workplace...
1. It's an incentive to show up. ...
- Job
- My first job was working at an orange juice factory
..but, I got canned because I couldn’t ...
- Stopping by the Office
- Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office.
She found him with ...
- Dilbert Quotes
- A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes ...
- Different
- Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, ...
- Work
- A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with ...
- Tired
- For a couple years I 've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but ...
- Biker
- A little guy is sitting at the bar staring at his drink when a large, threateningly leering biker ...
- Job
- Job interviewer: “And where would you see yourself in five years’ time Mr. Jeffries?"
Me: " ...
- Biker Trouble
- A guy was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next ...
- All the organs
- All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.
" ...
- More blondes 12
- Q: WHY ARE BLONDES LIKE PIANOS?
A: When they aren't upright, they're grand.
Q: What do you call ...
