jokes about job

More Jobs: "Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?" "I ought to be able to. I've had ten ...
Office Arithmatic: OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production ...
Late for work!: He just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day, 5, 10 minutes late. But he was a good ...
Job: My boss told me yesterday, âDonât dress for the job you have, dress for the job you wantâ. ...
The Boss: The boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. ...
Cough: I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough." ...
Help the Wife: Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. âBoss,â he says, âweâre doing some ...
Work: At work there were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde, who worked together at the ...
Sick Leave: I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I ...
New Job: Boss (to the new employee): We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as ...
Sick Day: A man calls in to work. "I can't come in today.." The boss says, "Why what's wrong?" " My ...
New Job: Pat and Mick have just started their job installing telegraph poles. At the end of the first week ...
The Boss: Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the ...
Discipline: A frustrated father told a work colleague: âWhen I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being ...
Work: Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could ...
Pfesident: Steve Jobs would have been a better president than Trump. But I guess it's not fair to compare ...
Husband Store: A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a ...
Life after Death: "Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir," the clerk ...
Trump: You can really see how much Trump cares about creating jobs in this country. The White House ...
Excuse: Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting ...
The Boss: The boss was in a quandary; he had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one ...
Overpaid: An employee approached his boss regarding a dispute on his pay-checkâ¦ Employee â Sir, this is ...
Black eyes: A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man said, ...
Girlfriend: A young guy was complaining to his Boss about the problems he was having with his stubborn ...
Boss: My nephew was in the bathroom shaving when the phone rang, so  his four-year-old daughter, ...
The boss calls: A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an ...
A few Days off: I decided that I needed a few days off and realized that I had run out of vacation time already. ...
A young guy from Missouri: A young guy from Missouri moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under the roof department ...
Fishing: A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go ...
Bubba: Bubba, an airline mechanic, was bragging to his boss one day. "You know, I know everyone there is ...
The pretty young secretary: The pretty young secretary had been transferred to the companys Dallas office. "We operate the ...
Prison: Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards ...
Farmer: "I love my job!" said the farmer "All you do is boss us around all day" said the sheep "What ...
Office Game: Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office ...
Thermos: A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by ...
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE INSANE: 1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 2. Find out where your boss shops ...
Responsibility: My boss decided to give me some more responsibility. From now on, I'm responsible for everything ...
You Do The Math...: You Do The Math... ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb ...
The Shredder: A young engineer was leaving the office at 3.45 p.m. when he found the acting CEO standing in front ...
A Job: I've found a job helping a one armed ...
Camping: Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. ...
Bubble Wrap: âWhere do you want this big roll of bubble wrap?â I asked my boss. âJust pop it in the ...
Divorced: Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. ...
Divorced: Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. ...
Cracking the Human Resource Code: COMPETITIVE SALARY Most of our competitors don't pay much either. "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY" ...
Older Years of Resolutions...: RESOLUTION #1: 1999: I will read at least 20 good books a year. 2000: I will read at ...
Understanting Help Wanted Ads: Understanting Help Wanted Ads What we say:Competitive Salary What we mean: We remain ...
Company Bulletin Board: Sign on company bulletin board: âThis firm requires no physical-fitness program. Everyone gets ...
Software: My old boss had spent some time writing software packages for this particular program. The software ...
Christmas Job: How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit. ...
Why I fired my Secretary: Why I fired my Secretary Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that ...
Memo from Accounting Department: It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in time sheets that ...
At Work: Bob Smith was sick of his job and was determined to find work elsewhere. But no matter how hard he ...
Lay off: A company boss has to decide who to lay off. He decides on two low level management employees Jack ...
Paint the Porch: A blonde moves to Beverly Hills, hoping to find an acting job. After a couple weeks with no luck, ...
Computer: Becky was 73 and just got her first computer. After her son spent over 2 hours teaching her how to ...
At a Bistro: A woman is approaching a very small Bistro. She calls the barkeeper and when he is standing in ...
Homeless: I had an encounter with a homeless man last year that I'll never forget. That day, my boss ...
Zoo: This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it happened, their star attraction, a ...
Married: This man was talking to a group of men at a bar and he said, "In my house I am the boss, I say when ...
50-50: A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. I welcome you into the family,â ...
Work: Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%. Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two ...
Top 10 SIGNS your family is STRESSED...: 10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk". 9. The school ...
LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE: LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with ...
Newest son-in-law: A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I ...
5 minute management course 3: 5 minute management course Lesson 3: A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are ...
Job: Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible." Applicant: "I'm the one ...
How to Please Your I.T. Department: 01. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of ...
Number 11: This is the story of a man who has a pretty classic life. Single, he has a normal job in a bank, ...
Kids Jokes: Boss: Where were you born? Sardarji: India. Boss: Which part? Sardarji: What do you mean which ...
Job: I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. It's ...
Blonde Line Painter: A road crew supervisor hired a nice-looking blonde woman to assist with painting the yellow line ...
Duck: A duck walks into a job center and says to the man behind the desk 'Excuse me; I'm looking for a ...
Job Interview: Job interview in a psychiatry: So youâre interested in working with us. What is your ...
The Wine Tester: In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to ...
Drinking At Work: Here's a few great reasons to allow drinking in the workplace... 1. It's an incentive to show up. ...
Dilbert Quotes: A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes ...
Different: Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, ...
Stopping by the Office: Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. She found him with ...
Work: A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with ...
Tired: For a couple years I 've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but ...
Biker: A little guy is sitting at the bar staring at his drink when a large, threateningly leering biker ...
Job: Job interviewer: âAnd where would you see yourself in five yearsâ time Mr. Jeffries?" Me: " ...
More blondes 12: Q: WHY ARE BLONDES LIKE PIANOS? A: When they aren't upright, they're grand. Q: What do you call ...
Biker Trouble: A guy was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next ...
All the organs: All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. " ...
Why athletes cannot hold real jobs: Why athletes cannot hold real jobs New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the ...
Evaluation Comments: Dictionary of Evaluation Comments Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really ...
You know you're living in 2004 when...: You know you're living in 2004 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. ...
Evaluation Comments: Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee ...
At Work: At work A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. Don't be ...
Watchman: A man is being interviewed for a job. âWhat are your qualifications for the job of night ...
Actual Job Interviews: Weâve been over this before:  Stupid doesnât play well on job interviews. Hiring managers ...
Shovels: One morning a local highway department crew reaches their job-site and realizes they have forgotten ...
Hate your Job?: Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called ...
Einstein: When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself ...
Parrots: One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section ...
Bored?: Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time. ...
Blond Job: A blond walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few ...
Why Men Can't Win: Why Men Can't Win If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work ...

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