jokes about job

More Jobs: "Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?" "I ought to be able to. I've had ten ...
Late for work!: He just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day, 5, 10 minutes late. But he was a good ...
Sick Leave: I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I ...
Work: At work there were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde, who worked together at the ...
The Boss: Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the ...
The Boss: The boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. ...
Help the Wife: Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some ...
Office Arithmatic: OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production ...
Bubba: Bubba, an airline mechanic, was bragging to his boss one day. "You know, I know everyone there is ...
Husband Store: A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a ...
The Boss: The boss was in a quandary; he had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one ...
Cough: I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough." ...
A few Days off: I decided that I needed a few days off and realized that I had run out of vacation time already. ...
Excuse: Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting ...
Office Game: Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office ...
Sick Day: A man calls in to work. "I can't come in today.." The boss says, "Why what's wrong?" " My ...
Black eyes: A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man said, ...
Boss: My boss is like school ...
The boss calls: A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an ...
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE INSANE: 1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 2. Find out where your boss shops ...
Girlfriend: A young guy was complaining to his Boss about the problems he was having with his stubborn ...
Wee: I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough." ...
Discipline: A frustrated father told a work colleague: “When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being ...
A young guy from Missouri: A young guy from Missouri moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under the roof department ...
Fishing: A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go ...
Work: Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could ...
Life after Death: "Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir," the clerk ...
Logician: A logician had a baby. His colleague asked, " ...
New Job: Boss (to the new employee): We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as ...
Thermos: A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by ...
You Do The Math...: You Do The Math... ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb ...
Overpaid: An employee approached his boss regarding a dispute on his pay-check… Employee – Sir, this is ...
New Job: Pat and Mick have just started their job installing telegraph poles. At the end of the first week ...
Pfesident: Steve Jobs would have been a better president than Trump. But I guess it's not fair to compare ...
Job: My boss told me yesterday, “Don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want”. ...
Boss: My nephew was in the bathroom shaving when the phone rang, so  his four-year-old daughter, ...
Andy: Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards ...
Prison: Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards ...
Trump: You can really see how much Trump cares about creating jobs in this country. The White House ...
Why I fired my Secretary: Why I fired my Secretary Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that ...
Computer: Becky was 73 and just got her first computer. After her son spent over 2 hours teaching her how to ...
Farmer: “I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained ...
The Shredder: A young engineer was leaving the office at 3.45 p.m. when he found the acting CEO standing in front ...
9 to 5: "So you currently work 9 to 5, Monday through Friday," said my boss. "That is right," I replied. ...
Older Years of Resolutions...: RESOLUTION #1: 1999: I will read at least 20 good books a year. 2000: I will read at ...
The pretty young secretary: The pretty young secretary had been transferred to the companys Dallas office. "We operate the ...
Divorced: Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. ...
Divorced: Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. ...
Homeless: I had an encounter with a homeless man last year that I'll never forget. That day, my boss ...
Prison: Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards ...
Camping: Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. ...
Software: My old boss had spent some time writing software packages for this particular program. The software ...
Engineer: A man went to school to be an engineer but after 4 years and lots of hard work, he discovered he ...
At a Bistro: A woman is approaching a very small Bistro. She calls the barkeeper and when he is standing in ...
50-50: A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. I welcome you into the family, ...
LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE: LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with ...
Newest son-in-law: A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I ...
Understanting Help Wanted Ads: Understanting Help Wanted Ads What we say:Competitive Salary What we mean: We remain ...
Cracking the Human Resource Code: COMPETITIVE SALARY Most of our competitors don't pay much either. "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY" ...
Kids Jokes: Boss: Where were you born? Sardarji: India. Boss: Which part? Sardarji: What do you mean which ...
Responsibility: My boss decided to give me some more responsibility. From now on, I'm responsible for everything ...
Job at the Bank: I lost my job at the bank. A woman asked ...
Afternoon: My boss told me to have a good ...
5 minute management course 3: 5 minute management course Lesson 3: A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are ...
Top 10 SIGNS your family is STRESSED...: 10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk". 9. The school ...
Married: This man was talking to a group of men at a bar and he said, "In my house I am the boss, I say when ...
Dilbert Quotes: A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes ...
Responsible: I went for a job interview today and the manager said,"We're looking for someone who is responsible" ...
Biker: A little guy is sitting at the bar staring at his drink when a large, threateningly leering biker ...
Biker Trouble: A guy was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next ...
Lay off: A company boss has to decide who to lay off. He decides on two low level management employees Jack ...
Bubble Wrap: “Where do you want this big roll of bubble wrap?” I asked my boss. “Just pop it in the ...
Electrician: Electrician by trade, looking for work. I have to admit I'm not really good at this job and people ...
Different: Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, ...
Running Late: I told my boss I was running late. "Unless your ambition is to be fired," he said, "I want you ...
Why athletes cannot hold real jobs: Why athletes cannot hold real jobs New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the ...
More blondes 12: Q: WHY ARE BLONDES LIKE PIANOS? A: When they aren't upright, they're grand. Q: What do you call ...
Zoo: This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it happened, their star attraction, a ...
How to Please Your I.T. Department: 01. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of ...
All the organs: All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. " ...
Company Bulletin Board: Sign on company bulletin board: “This firm requires no physical-fitness program. Everyone gets ...
Farmer: "I love my job!" said the farmer "All you do is boss us around all day" said the sheep "What ...
Paint the Porch: A blonde moves to Beverly Hills, hoping to find an acting job. After a couple weeks with no luck, ...
Understanding Engineers: Understanding Engineers - Take One: Two engineering students were walking across a university ...
Bored?: Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time. ...
At Work: Bob Smith was sick of his job and was determined to find work elsewhere. But no matter how hard he ...
Einstein: When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself ...
Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't: Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't: 10. I need to whip it out by 5. 9. ...
Depressed: A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't ...
Work: Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%. Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two ...
Parrots: One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section ...
Memo from Accounting Department: It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in time sheets that ...
Calling in Sick: Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my illness, I always ...
Stopping by the Office: Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. She found him with ...
You know you're living in 2004 when...: You know you're living in 2004 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. ...
Understanding Engineers: Understanding Engineers - One Two engineering students were walking across a university campus ...
A Dentist's Office: A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one ...
Carrot: Why did the carrot quit his job? ...
Slacker: Harley Davidson, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined ...
Post office: A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery Store. As he waited, he was ...

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