jokes about doctors

lost unicorn If found please stop doing drugs
Lost Unicorn, please stop using drugs
the doctor said I need to eat more fish
Turns out my doctor has no sense of humour
Not sure if I need to cook this or bring it to the doctor
They should name a hospital ship this
A wise doctor one wrote
kid gives doctor advice to examine grandpa
A wise doctor once wrote
Dog pigs up drugs at a pharmacy
Doctor, Im not a tall well
At the doctors #homeopathic
Easter bunny is not feeling well
How to get your kids to take medicine
A picture tells a thousand words #arrow #hospital
If this goes right, they thank Jesus
Why is it called a vet #doctor #dog
Campbells giving good advice
Girl gives a giftcard for christmas so it cant be spend on drugs
what a doctor and a woman have in common
A great lesson to teach your kids #motorcycle #drugs #money
Told the doctor I broke my arm in two places
woman going to the doctor
doctors protest bad handwriting
Doctor VS Druggist
An older man strode in to his doctors office and said, "Doc, my druggist said to tell you to change ...
Hospital
A man walks into a hospital ward and starts inspecting the bed charts. A doctor notices this and ...
A snakes new glasses
"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days". The doc fixes him up with a pair ...
Doctor
A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril. ...
Shaking
Man goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, I cant stop my hands from shaking !" Doctor replies "Do ...
Hospital
I was in the hospital bed when a nurse came up to me and said, "Would you like me to inform anyone ...
Doctor
Patient: "Doc, you gotta help me. I'm under a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people." ...
Coffee
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc., everytime I drink coffee, I get terrible pains in my eye." ...
Duck Doctor
Why can’t you trust duck ...
Scared blond woman
A blond takes her typewriter to the doctor. "Doc, I'm afraid my typewriter is pregnant." The ...
Psychology
In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor was about to introduce the subject of manic ...
Problem
Santa went to the Doctors with a problem. Doctor: What seems to be the problem? Santa: I seem to ...
Santas Problem
Santa went to the Doctors with a problem. Doctor: What seems to be the problem? Santa: I seem to ...
Senility
An elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, ...
An apple a day
My wife, a phlebotomist at the Denver VA hospital, entered a patient’s room to draw blood. ...
Doctor
A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in the house?!" ...
Crazy people talk
A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He ...
Cold
A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed ...
How long to live?
A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the ...
Fingers
A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers. He rushes to the emergency ...
Older Folks 8.
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw ...
Shot
Two buddies go duck hunting. They had been hunting for a while when one had to take a dump. So he ...
Shoes or Boots
A psychiatrist was trying to comfort a new patient who was terribly upset. "You see, Doc," the ...
Mental Hospital
There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen. The ...
Constipation
Wilford went to the doctor for constipation. He explained to the doc that it had several days since ...
A 82-year old Man
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor ...
Book
I’m publishing a book on Reverse ...
A man went to the doctor
He said, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll ...
Poker
A doctor got a phone call from one of his colleagues. “We need a fourth for poker,” the voice ...
Sweet Tea
A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue .. Doctor: "What happened?" Woman: "Doctor, I ...
The Cure
A woman went to the doctor's office and was seen by one of the new young doctors. After about four ...
Drugs
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before ...
Dr. Doctor
Two doctors opened an office in a small town. They put up a sign reading: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, ...
Cute Blond
A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute ...
Doctors
A man was constipated, so he decided to go to the doctor. The doctor examined him and explained, " ...
Nurse
A nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital. "This will be the most hazardous ...
Alabama birth control
A man and and a woman from Alabama don't want any more children because they already have 11. So ...
Gonorrhea
"Doc, I think my son has Gonorrhea", a patient told his urologist on the phone. "The only woman he' ...
Open Window
“Have you been sleeping by an open window, like I told you?” asks a doctor his patient. “ ...
Cigars
A man went to his doctor seeking help for his terrible addiction to cigars. The doctor was quite ...
Sunburn
A man passed out on the beach in Miami for four hours, and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to ...
Smaller
A guy says, "Doctor, Doctor! Help me, I keep thinking I'm getting smaller!" Doctor replies, "Well, ...
Sick Boy
A four year old boy was brought to hospital with a terrible cough, high temperature, and vomiting. ...
Doctor
Doctor, doctor you've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking! Do you drink a lot? ...
Two Doctors
Two doctors opened an office in a small town and put up a sign reading "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, ...
Disease
A man goes to the doctor. Man: "Doctor, I think I have a problem! I can't stop singing What's New ...
The testicles of a Texas midget
The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor ...
Wax
The pretty co-ed nervously asked the doctor to perform an unusual operation: the removal of a large ...
Old couple getting married
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida , are all excited about their decision to ...
Older Folks 4.
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as ...
Lubricant
Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. He brought her to ...
Blond
Q: Why did the blond tip toe past the medicine cabinet? A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping ...
dream
Mr. Geraldo says to his doctor, "Doc, I had the worst dream of my life last night. I dreamed I was ...
Whos your daddy?
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor ...
The Late Tommy Cooper--Comic
The Late Tommy Cooper--Comic 1. Two blondes walked into a building... you'd think at least one ...
Hillbilly
A Forty -Year -Old hillbilly carries a younger hillbilly into the doctors office, deposited him on ...
Erectile Dysfunction
On my 60th birthday, I got a gift certificate from my wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a ...
Shopping
A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the ...
Six Months to live
A patient was at her doctor's office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I ...
Doctor
She: I have a doctor’s appointment today but I really don’t want to go… He: Just call in ...
Lord Nelson
The new inmate at the mental hospital announced in a loud voice that he was the famous British ...
Pregnant
A young girl was very much interested in the progress of her mother’s pregnancy. Finally the day ...
Commit suicide
A blonde hurries into the hospital emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger ...
Mental Hospital
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day,and all the patients were shouting ,'13....13.. ...
Upset Pirate
A pirate goes to see his doctor on account that he's been feeling down and depressed after losing ...
Overweight
Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are ...
The New Doctor in Town
A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older ...
Hiccups
A woman went to her doctor’s office with a seemingly incurable case of hiccups. A new doctor ...
A 86-year-old man
A 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up.... The doctor asked him how he ...
Cucumber
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a ...
A 93-year-old woman
A 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband, decided ...
Stupid
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, " ...
Checkup
A 75 year-old man goes to his doctor for a check-up.
Doctor: "You're doing fairly well for ...
Hospital
I have been hospitalized for a ...
Death
Mildred was a 93-year-old woman, particularly despondent over the death of her husband, Earl. She ...
Broken Leg
"HOW DID IT HAPPEN?" the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man's broken leg. " ...
Laryngitis
A man called his doctor and said, “Doctor, I think that my wife has come down with a case of ...
Rabies
Doctor: I’m sorry to have to tell you that you may have rabies, and it could prove fatal. ...
Hell
one day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he's wallowing in despair, he has his first ...
Coffee
Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in ...
Shot
Doc, isn't it harmful to drink a shot before ...
Grandpa
A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa When they ...
A Bar
A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and ...
Giving birth
Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, ...
Puns
Puns 1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but ...
Bowel Movements
An old man goes to see the doctor. "it's about my bowel movements..." says the old man. "Are they ...
Invisible Patient
Secretary: “Doctor, there’s a patient on line one who says he’s invisible.” Doctor: “ ...
A doctor and a lawyer
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by ...
Death
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, ...
Pil
A man goes to the doctor with a swollen leg. After a careful examination, the doctor gives the man ...
Shrinking
A man rushed into a Doctor's surgery, shouting "help me please, I'm shrinking" The Doctor calmly ...
Sleeping problems
Doctor: “I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.” ...
The Old Man
An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office for his annual physical. After the physical, the ...
Pen
A doctor walks in to an exam room, searching for a pen in his pocket. The doctor pulls out a ...
The Decision
A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I ...
Erection trouble
A man having trouble achieving an erection decides to consult a witch doctor. The witch doctor ...
Doctor
A woman burst out of the examining room screaming after her young physician tells her she is ...
Wolf
At a psychiatric ward: “Doctor, what should we do with the new guy in room 6? He believes he’s ...
Whatsapp
WhatsApp keeps crashing on my phone and won’t run properly, so I’ve downloaded something called ...
Dog
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog. Sit on the couch and we will talk about it. But I'm ...

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