Wilford went to the doctor for constipation. He explained to the doc that it had several days since he had a bowel movement and it was getting rather painful. After examining Wilford the doctor said, "Lets see, you live out of town don't you"?
"Okay, you drive the speed limit of 30 mph to the city limits and turn off on a farm to mkt. road and drive 55 mph for 6 miles?" Again Wilford nodded.
"Then you turn onto a dirt road and drive about 20 mph for 2 miles to your house, is that correct?"
Once more Wilford nodded.
"Okay, I'm going to give you this powerful laxative and you need to go straight home. Do not stop anywhere or drive any slower."
So Wilford drove home exactly as the doctor said.
A few days later, Wilford saw the doctor up town and stated, " Doc, you should have been an engineer or mathematician. I can't believe how accurate you were with the directions on that laxative."
Doc said," I glad you are feeling better. So, you made it just fine to the toilet?"
"No, explained Wilford, you were 3 feet short."