jokes about animals
- Dogs
- A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, " ...
- Woman Vs Dog
- What's the difference between a dog barking on the front porch and a woman yelling on the back ...
- Cat Owners
- How do cat owners react when faced with a polite debate about cats that pops their bubble of "my ...
- Your Duck is Dead
- A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the ...
- Barking Dog
- A blonde and her husband are lying in bed Listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in ...
- Pessimist and a dog
- An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that ...
- At the Vet
- A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help.
The vet rushes him back to ...
- Cat
- A man brings his cat to a veterinarian. He lives the cat there and returns in two days, as per ...
- My Dog Don't Bite
- A hound dog lays in the yard and an old man in overalls sits on the porch.
"Excuse me, sir, but ...
- 5 minute management course 6
- 5 minute management course 6
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so ...
- Dog sweater
- I saw a dog wearing a sweater and I thought that looked ridiculous 'cause dogs don't have arms. If ...
- The cat and the rooster
- A rooster and a cat were playing by the pool.
The cat fell in and the rooster laughed.
The cat ...
- Damn Cat
- A man who hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of the animal by driving him several blocks away ...
- Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans
- Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans
1 Blaming your farts on me..... not funny... not funny at ...
- Firefighter
- A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door ...
- Cat
- My cat just walked up to the paper shredder ...
- Sheep
- Fred walks into his house with a sheep tucked under his arm. He carries it upstairs and into the ...
- Dogs
- Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter.... First Woman : "My dos is ...
- Cat
- I saw a poster today, somebody was asking âHave you seen my cat?â So I called the number and ...
- Perspective
- If you want to keep a true perspective of your own importance, get a dog that will worship you and ...
- Dog Ears
- Q: What kind of dog eats with his ears?
A: They all do. I havenât seen a single dog remove ...
- Dog
- Joe was a steward for Fly High airlines. He watched as an older lady boarded the plane holding a ...
- Dead Dog
- Joe was a steward for Fly High airlines. He watched as an older lady boarded the plane holding a ...
- Hot Dog
- What did the dog say to the hot ...
- Cat
- A man drives deep into the forest to get rid of his cat. He lets her out at an abandoned place. ...
- Dead Cat
- The lady next door ran over my cat.
She said she'd replace it, so I asked her how good she was at ...
- Butt
- A cat meets a fox in the forest.
The fox asks the cat why she smells so dreadful.
The cat ...
- Cat
- A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and ...
- It Figures
- A man and his son walk in the park and come upon two dogs humping. The son asks, "Dad what are ...
- Jungle Cat
- Why is it a bad idea to play poker with a ...
- Lost Cat
- âHi, police department? Iâve lost my cat and â¦
âSorry lady, this is not a police job, we ...
- Dogs
- A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says " ...
- Cat and Comma
- What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has its claws at the end of is paws; a ...
- Words of Wisdom from Kids
- Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10
When your dad is mad and asks you, âDo I ...
- A Vet
- "Darling," whispered a frail little husband from his chair. "I'm very sick, would you please call ...
- Cats
- Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: ...
- Don't Kick the Animals
- A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his mother. She said, "Not until you feed the animals."
...
- Catholic Dog
- Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, ...
- First Price
- How did the cat get the first prize at a bird show?
Somebody didnât shut the championâs cage ...
- An Englishman and an Irishman
- An Englishman and an Irishman were speaking sitting in a park bench when a horrible, ugly looking ...
- Women and Cats
- Women and cats will do as they please, men ...
- Dogs
- Three people, 2 men and 1 woman, and their dogs are in the Vets waiting room. The first man's dog ...
- Dog's and Cat's Diary
- EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A ...
- Dog and wagon
- A man is walking down the street and he sees a boy riding a wagon.
The boy has his dog pulling it ...
- Dog Tricks
- What do you call a dog that does ...
- Baby Planes
- A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. ...
- Leaving the House
- Husband leaves the house with the dog.
Wife asks: "Are you taking the donkey for a walk?"
...
- Dog IQ
- A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dogâs IQ. Hereâs ...
- Dead Cat
- A kindergarten pupil told his teacher heâd found a cat, but it was dead. âHow do you know that ...
- Better
- My coughing is much better now. I only set ...
- Cat
- âOur cat was stupid enough to drink some petrol yesterday. She spent two hours racing through the ...
- 4th of July
- 4th of July
The difference between a duck and George Washington is:
One has a bill on his face; ...
- Blind men
- A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says " ...
- Talking Dog
- This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever.
''Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my ...
- Dead Dog
- Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom ...
- Life
- On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at ...
- Guard Dog
- A man was very proud of his guard dog, he would leave it to roam free in the garden to sow the ...
- Words
- Q: What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A: A spelling bee.
Q: Where do cows go for ...
- Cross
- Q: What happens when you cross a dog and a cheetah?
A: You get a dog who chases after cars a lot ...
- Jump
- What dog can jump higher than a ...
- Dog Chess
- A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the ...
- Baskin Robbins
- Two robins were lying on their backs, basking in the sun.
A mama cat and her kitten were walking ...
- Cats vs Teenagers
- For all of you with teenagers or who had teenagers, you may want to know why they really have a lot ...
- Dogs
- Two men, Jim and John, were walking their dogs when they passed by a restaurant. âLetâs go in ...
- Hot Dog
- Customer: Give me a hot dog.
Waiter: ...
- Blond
- There was a blond who was tired of all the blond jokes going around and decided to dye her hair ...
- Pet Rules
- PET RULES
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
...
- sheep
- Q: What do you call a sheep ...
- Dog
- Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Sit on the couch and we will talk about it.
But I'm ...
- Plants
- "Some plants," said the teacher, "have the prefix 'dog'. For instance, there is the dogrose, the ...
- Dogs Balls
- 2 guys were walking down the street and saw a dog lying on a porch licking his balls.
Guy 1 ...
- Farm
- A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his ...
- Dog Song
- The official dogsâ song?
âEvery snack you take, every food you make, every can you shake, ...
- New Years Eve Party
- We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned ...
- Cross-eyed Dog
- A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. Is there anything you ...
- Dressed and Ready
- A couple was dressed and ready to go out into the city for the evening. They turned on a night ...
- Duck
- A duck walks into a bar.
It asks the barkeeper: âDo you have bread?â
Bartender: âNo.â
...
- The truths about life, that little children have learnt
- 1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't ...
- The Two Duck Hunters
- ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING ON THE
INCIDENT.
A guy ...
- Flying Dog
- A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.
â ...
- Dog Tail
- A guy was cutting the tail off his dog. His neighbor asked, "What the hell are you doing?"
âMy ...
- 12 Days of Christmas - A Cat's Rendition
- 12 Days of Christmas - A Cat's Rendition
On the twelfth day of Christmas my human gave to me:
...
- Two Nuns
- Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people ...
- Bird
- Teacher: "Name a bird with wings but can't fly." ...
- Composition
- TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did you copy ...
- Difference?
- What is the difference between a dog on the back porch howling and a woman on the front porch ...
- Buy the Cow
- For all those men who believe that there's no reason to buy the cow when you
can get the milk free, ...
- Alligator Shoes
- A blond was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, ...
- Cow and Grass
- Teacher: "I asked you to draw a cow and grass, but I only see a cow. Where is grass?"
Student: " ...
- Smart Dog
- A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog ...
- Cat
- A man goes on a 2-month business trip to Europe and leaves his cat with his brother. Three days ...
- Duck
- A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck ...
- Ever Wonder?
- -Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
- Why women can't put on mascara with ...
- Emergency Call
- There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this:
Caller: Help me, ...
- Best Friend
- A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Lock your ...
- A Dog in Heat
- A little girl asked her mum, "Mum, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"
Mum replies, " ...
- A blind man..
- A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog.
All of a sudden, he picks up the leash ...
- Problems can be fixed...
- A South Carolina farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring ...
- A blind man
- A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing-eye dog one day. They come to a busy ...
- Rules
- What does one call a cat that ...
