jokes about animals

This dog does not like the rules
They are not what it seems
Is this a cat or an octopus
just a horse blowing some wind
this dog has no shame, junoed out of the car window and got into the next car because the person was eating KFC
Sometimes I wonder why I buy an expensive chair #cat
Why does this dog keep looking at my plate
Dog is kung fu fighting
these dogs would like people to stop using doorbells in commercials
the cat lost its head
A dog with a pinecone is scary
a cat made from cat
This bird knows no rules
the dog seems to be on the couch
a dog has a letter for you
A perfectly timed picture of a dog with bubble eyes
theres always one #dog
These are some weird looking cats
stop putting doorbells in commercials #dog
Is this a copycat or a cat scan
This picture is taking at a weird angle #dog
this dogs tag is the truth
This dog appears to be broken
Dogs are not supposed to be photographed in panoramic mode
I thought that was a bear on my bed #dog
Stop fake throwing the ball #dog
For a second I thought someone cut my dog in half
The timing of the picture makes a weird cat chicken hybrid
Perfect angle for a cat picture
Why cat racing never took off
Perfect angle for this bird picture
Its this the Dodge Viper logo or daffy duck
This dogs thinks hes a lot bigger than he actually is
Two dogs discussing switching to kilo
Two dogs in a knock knock joke
Dog rounded up the sheep
Perfect angle picture #horse
Heres how to distinguish an alligator from a crocodile
This animal is very dangerous! #bear #woman
This ends the debate wether cats are liquids or not
This is not how you ride a horse
Taking the horse out to ride
these dogs are from tech support
Cats in a fight
Dogs in bread
They’re not dangerous if you raise them right #dogs #kids
Now thats a good fortune cookie #duck
A closeup of a coat looks like an animal
Cops horsing around #horse
Yoga is not for cats
Reflection is a funny thing sometimes #bird #eagle
It killed the cat and mildly inconvenienced the horse
Shaved my bird #beard
is it a bird is it a dog
97% cant guess this animal!
cats will be cats even when theyre a statue
Walking two dogs can be very challenging
The lazy fox jumped over the sheep
Two dogs singing together
Every year 10 million dogs are killed
Back in the 90s all the dogs were let out and nobody knows who did it
If youre cold, theyre cold too
If the earth was flat #cats
a horse that spells horse
Australia is about cats and dogs
theres a generation gap with cats
Hi, we understand you are 40 and still single #cats
Dogs look like kiss
Compare cats to dogs
Stop, I cant bear these animal jokes
This is how dogs prefer Easter #rabbit
The origin of the platypus explained #duck #beaver
Im no bird expert, but #male #female
Only one animal in the zoo #shitzu #dog
A picture for those who like pics of cats
The left wing and right wing belong to the same bird
horse should have told her he was stopping
these dogs dont like water!
when a small dogs takes the large spot
Justin Bieber visits animal shelter
a floor covered in political promises #cattle #horse
why it takes so long to shoe a mare
horse looks like john Bon jovi
not sure if duck face girls are posing for a picture or
America sideways looks like a duck
cats version of a super bowl
internet is full of cat people
dogs with their heads out the car window
horse loves this post
I have made a huge mistake guy in horse suit attacked by lions
cats laying in the sun with bikini
horse jumping in water
man walking an awful lot of dogs
duck face Elmer shooting girl
dogs party
duck stealing money
why cats hate kids
two cats eating the hard way
bird of pray caught goldfish
dont remember that part prince horse
anal kingdom family fail posing at animal kingdom
never give up frog fighting bird
short run for dogs
deep shit shut up fox between hunting dogs
blue cat coughing up blue hairball
duck ducklings down drain
laughing horse
horse stuck cow laughing smiling
biting sheep
Cat and frog
What's the difference between a cat and a frog? A cat has nine lives, but the frogs croaks every ...
Dog Park
i can’t take my dog to the park because the ducks keep biting him. i guess that’s what i get ...
Cats and Commas
What's the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has its claws at the end of is paws; a ...
Dog
I asked my dog what's two ...
Dogs
A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, " ...
old dog
An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly ...
Baby Planes
A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. ...
Golden Retriever
My Neighbor claims his Golden Retriever dog can bring a ball back from half a mile away. That ...
Your Duck is Dead
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the ...
Better
My coughing is much better now. I only set ...
Pessimist and a dog
An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that ...
Alligator Shoes
A blond was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, ...
Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans
Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans 1 Blaming your farts on me..... not funny... not funny at ...
Women and Cats
Women and cats will do as they please, men ...
Best Chair
My experience over the years is that if you want to sit in the best and most comfortable chair in ...
The Duck
A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich. The landlord looks at him ...
Duck
A duck walks into a job center and says to the man behind the desk 'Excuse me; I'm looking for a ...
Pet Rules
PET RULES To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height. Dear Dogs and Cats, ...
Duck
A duck walks into a bar. It asks the barkeeper: “Do you have bread?” Bartender: “No.” ...
Alligator
What do you call an ...
Dancing Duck
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On ...
Barking Dog
A blonde and her husband are lying in bed Listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in ...
Duck
A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck ...
The Secret to a Long and Happy Marriage
The Secret to a Long and Happy Marriage. A couple was celebrating their golden wedding ...
Cats vs Teenagers
For all of you with teenagers or who had teenagers, you may want to know why they really have a lot ...
Magical dancing Duck
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On ...
Sheep
Fred walks into his house with a sheep tucked under his arm. He carries it upstairs and into the ...
4th of July
4th of July The difference between a duck and George Washington is: One has a bill on his face; ...
Dogs
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their ...
Woman Vs Dog
What's the difference between a dog barking on the front porch and a woman yelling on the back ...
Cowboy
A cowboy from Montana and a cowboy from California are on a sheep drive. They have been out for ...
Cats
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: ...
Horse Auction
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from ...
Captured Cowboy
A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief ...
sheep
Q: What do you call a sheep ...
Sheep
In which country do sheep ...
Blond
There was a blond who was tired of all the blond jokes going around and decided to dye her hair ...
A newly wed Couple
A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, ...
Blondeback Mountain...
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, despite having had no lessons or prior experience. She ...
Women
There was a guy walking down the street in San Fransisco, and he tripped over an old looking oil ...
Two Nuns
Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people ...
Blond
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. ...
The Duck
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell ...
Dogs
Why did the man name his dogs ...
Bird
Teacher: "Name a bird with wings but can't fly." ...
Blind animals
Two animals met in the forest. One said to the other, "I'm blind what kind of animal are you?" The ...
More Christmas Jokes
What do snowmen eat for lunch? Iceburgers or Brrrr-itos! When is a boat just like snow? When ...
Blonde Horseback riding
A 30-year-old blonde decides to try horseback riding for the first time. With no lessons, nor ...
Pull!
A man is driving down a country road when he loses control of his car and ends up in a ditch. He ...
Amish
An Amish lady trots down the road in her horse and buggy when a cop pulls her over. "Ma'am," says ...
Alligator shoes
A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to ...
Uncle Sam
Benny decided to buy a present for his Uncle Sam’s birthday, so with his older brother’s help ...
Parrot
A quiet, polite man owns a disgusting, foul mouthed parrot. One day, it gets to be too much, so ...
Little Johnny
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse ...
Actual Funny Pet Names
Does kitty dream of slinking down the catwalk? If so, give her a name that screams “I’m a star!â ...
Horny Parrot
A guy has a horny parrot. It's terrible. Every time he reaches into the cage, the bird humps his ...
Cats
"I do not encourage eating cats. But judging by the amount of time they spend licking themselves, I ...
Scottish Bloke
This Scottish bloke goes on a skiing holiday to Canada. After a hard day on the slopes, he retires ...
Duck
Duck walks into a bar. Says to the bar tender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." Bar tender says, " ...
Words
Q: What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A: A spelling bee. Q: Where do cows go for ...
5 minute management course 6
5 minute management course 6 Lesson 6 A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so ...
3 ducks
A guy walks into a quiet bar carrying three ducks-one in each hand and one under his left arm. ...
Dogs
Where do smart dogs go ...
Jockey
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him ...
Gifts
It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. ...
New Bird
After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely ...
Sheepdog
After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: “All 40 ...
Cats breakfast
What do cats eat for ...
A well-known Proverb
A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her ...
Farmer
"I love my job!" said the farmer "All you do is boss us around all day" said the sheep "What ...
Dogs
Dogs probably only like humans ...
A Chicken and a Horse
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day, the two were ...
The truths about life, that little children have learnt
1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't ...
Birds
Name a bird which doesn' ...
Cats
How many cats can squeeze into a regular sized empty box? Just one. After that the box isn’t ...
Women and Cats
When women reach a certain age they start ...
Deep
Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole. "Wow...that looks deep. ...
It Figures
A man and his son walk in the park and come upon two dogs humping. The son asks, "Dad what are ...
Horse ride
A blonde had a near death experience the other day when she went horseback riding. Everything was ...
The Horse
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to ...
Parrot
A man went to a pet shop and bought a talking parrot. He took the parrot home, and tried to teach ...
The Chicken and the Harley
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day, the two ...
YOU know you need a Different Lawyer when ......
* You met him in prison. * During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway. * ...
Pulling Horse
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to ...
Parrot
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a ...
Farmer
“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained ...
Cookie Monster
If a cow is an herbivore, and a lion is a carnivore, then what is Cookie Monster? An om-nom-nom- ...
Three women going to Heaven
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We ...
Women in heaven
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, " ...
The Parrot
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse ...
Well mannered Horse
One friend to another, “My new horse is very well-mannered.” “That’s nice.” “Yes, isnâ ...
The Foo Bird
A wild life photographer goes on an expedition to South America to photograph the legendary and ...
Fur Coat
Anne went away to college and promptly became an avid animal right activist. When she came home for ...
Fur Coat
Anne went away to college and promptly became an avid animal right activist. When she came home for ...
Dogs
Three people, 2 men and 1 woman, and their dogs are in the Vets waiting room. The first man's dog ...
Fish
Pat: Hey, Chris! How's your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special. ...
Great Truths About Life That Little Children Have Learned
Great Truths About Life That Little Children Have Learned * No matter how hard you try, you can' ...
Strike!
“So Grandpa” asked Dave at his engagement party “your marriage to Grandma is legendary ...
Parakeet
A fellow walks into a pet store and asks to buy a canary. The proprietor replies, "I'm fresh out, ...
The five simple Rules to be Happy
This 102 year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o' ...

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