jokes about animals
- Cat and frog
- What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, but the frogs croaks every ...
- Cat
- My cat is so impatient?
...
- Dog Park
- i can’t take my dog to the park because the ducks keep biting him.
i guess that’s what i get ...
- Cats
- A cat owner invited their neighbor over for dinner and introduced their four cats. "That's Alogue, ...
- Dog
- I spilled spot remover on ...
- Dogs
- A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, " ...
- Cats and Commas
- What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has its claws at the end of is paws; a ...
- Magic Dog
- What do you call a dog who does ...
- Dog
- I asked my dog what's two ...
- Motionless Dog
- At first, I couldn’t understand why my dog was ...
- German
- A german tourist jumped in de freezing water to save my precious little dog, after he climbed out ...
- Dog
- My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot.
...
- Cats Tail
- If a cat lost its tail, where does ...
- Cats
- A lady owned several cats, and introduced them to me as follows: "That’s Astrophe, that’s ...
- Baby Planes
- A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. ...
- Mad Cow
- Two cows are talking.
First cow says to the second cow "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"
...
- Your Duck is Dead
- A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the ...
- Better
- My coughing is much better now. I only set ...
- Pessimist and a dog
- An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that ...
- old dog
- An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly ...
- Alligator Shoes
- A blond was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, ...
- Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans
- Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans
1 Blaming your farts on me..... not funny... not funny at ...
- Women and Cats
- Women and cats will do as they please, men ...
- Cow
- Did y’all hear about the cow who weighed a ton?? ...
- The Duck
- A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich.
The landlord looks at him ...
- Golden Retriever
- My Neighbor claims his Golden Retriever dog can bring a ball back from half a mile away.
That ...
- Duck
- A duck walks into a job center and says to the man behind the desk 'Excuse me; I'm looking for a ...
- Alligator
- What do you call an ...
- Duck
- A duck walks into a bar.
It asks the barkeeper: “Do you have bread?”
Bartender: “No.”
...
- Pet Rules
- PET RULES
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
...
- Fired
- Why did the woman get fired from her job at ...
- Dancing Duck
- A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On ...
- Retriever
- My next door neighbor keeps boasting that his Golden Retriever dog can bring a ball back from ...
- Barking Dog
- A blonde and her husband are lying in bed Listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in ...
- Duck
- A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck ...
- The Secret to a Long and Happy Marriage
- The Secret to a Long and Happy Marriage.
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding ...
- Magical dancing Duck
- A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On ...
- Sheep
- Fred walks into his house with a sheep tucked under his arm. He carries it upstairs and into the ...
- Cats vs Teenagers
- For all of you with teenagers or who had teenagers, you may want to know why they really have a lot ...
- Best Chair
- My experience over the years is that if you want to sit in the best and most comfortable chair in ...
- 4th of July
- 4th of July
The difference between a duck and George Washington is:
One has a bill on his face; ...
- Dogs
- A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their ...
- Cowboy
- A cowboy from Montana and a cowboy from California are on a sheep drive. They have been out for ...
- Woman Vs Dog
- What's the difference between a dog barking on the front porch and a woman yelling on the back ...
- Younger Days
- In my younger days I was an orchestra conductor, and I sometimes have flashbacks of that previous ...
- Horse Auction
- Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father.
He watched as his father moved from ...
- Captured Cowboy
- A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief ...
- Sheep
- In which country do sheep ...
- sheep
- Q: What do you call a sheep ...
- Blond
- There was a blond who was tired of all the blond jokes going around and decided to dye her hair ...
- Cats
- Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: ...
- A newly wed Couple
- A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, ...
- Blondeback Mountain...
- A blonde decides to try horseback riding, despite having had no lessons or prior experience. She ...
- Women
- There was a guy walking down the street in San Fransisco, and he tripped over an old looking oil ...
- Two Nuns
- Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people ...
- Blond
- A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. ...
- The Duck
- A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell ...
- Dogs
- Why did the man name his dogs ...
- Bird
- Teacher: "Name a bird with wings but can't fly." ...
- Blind animals
- Two animals met in the forest. One said to the other, "I'm blind what kind of animal are you?" The ...
- More Christmas Jokes
- What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Iceburgers or Brrrr-itos!
When is a boat just like snow?
When ...
- Blonde Horseback riding
- A 30-year-old blonde decides to try horseback riding for the first time.
With no lessons, nor ...
- Pull!
- A man is driving down a country road when he loses control of his car and ends up in a ditch. He ...
- Alligator shoes
- A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation.
She wanted to ...
- Amish
- An Amish lady trots down the road in her horse and buggy when a cop pulls her over. "Ma'am," says ...
- Uncle Sam
- Benny decided to buy a present for his Uncle Sam’s birthday, so with his older brother’s help ...
- Duck Doctor
- Why can’t you trust duck ...
- Parrot
- A quiet, polite man owns a disgusting, foul mouthed parrot.
One day, it gets to be too much, so ...
- Little Johnny
- Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse ...
- Actual Funny Pet Names
- Does kitty dream of slinking down the catwalk? If so, give her a name that screams “I’m a star! ...
- Horny Parrot
- A guy has a horny parrot. It's terrible. Every time he reaches into the cage, the bird humps his ...
- Scottish Bloke
- This Scottish bloke goes on a skiing holiday to Canada. After a hard day on the slopes, he retires ...
- Cats
- "I do not encourage eating cats. But judging by the amount of time they spend licking themselves, I ...
- Duck
- Duck walks into a bar. Says to the bar tender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." Bar tender says, " ...
- Words
- Q: What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A: A spelling bee.
Q: Where do cows go for ...
- 5 minute management course 6
- 5 minute management course 6
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so ...
- 3 ducks
- A guy walks into a quiet bar carrying three ducks-one in each hand and
one under his left arm.
...
- Dogs
- Where do smart dogs go ...
- Jockey
- A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him ...
- Gifts
- It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. ...
- New Bird
- After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely ...
- Sheepdog
- After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: “All 40 ...
- Farmer
- "I love my job!" said the farmer
"All you do is boss us around all day" said the sheep
"What ...
- A well-known Proverb
- A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her ...
- Dogs
- Dogs probably only like humans ...
- Cats breakfast
- What do cats eat for ...
- Kill an Animal
- How do you kill a unique animal?
U Nique up on him.
How do you kill a tame animal?
Tame ...
- A Chicken and a Horse
- On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day, the two were ...
- Birds
- Name a bird which doesn' ...
- The truths about life, that little children have learnt
- 1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't ...
- Cats
- How many cats can squeeze into a regular sized empty box?
Just one. After that the box isn’t ...
- Women and Cats
- When women reach a certain age they start ...
- Deep
- Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole.
"Wow...that looks deep. ...
- It Figures
- A man and his son walk in the park and come upon two dogs humping. The son asks, "Dad what are ...
- Horse ride
- A blonde had a near death experience the other day when she went horseback riding. Everything was ...
- The Horse
- An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area.
Luckily, a local farmer came to ...
- Parrot
- A man went to a pet shop and bought a talking parrot.
He took the parrot home, and tried to teach ...
- The Chicken and the Harley
- On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.
One day, the two ...
- Pulling Horse
- An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to ...
- Farmer
- “I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer.
“All you do is boss me around all day!” complained ...
