What?

Whats the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on. I was at an ATM money machine when an old lady came up and asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over. I had a dog named Minton who had an unfortunate habit of eating shuttlecocks. Bad minton. Two men are in a pub. One says to his mate "My mother-in-law is an angel". The reply from his friend...... "You're so f*cking lucky... Mine's still alive..."