Hallmark

WHAT HALLMARK DOESN'T PRINT <p><ol> <li>So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look at the bright side, it's really good pay. <li>My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat. Sorry! <li>Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me. <li>Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder? What the hell was I thinking? <li>Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband. <li>How could two people as beautiful as you... Have such an ugly baby? <li>I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you ... I've changed my mind. <li>I must admit, you brought Religion into my life... I never believed in Hell till I met you. <li>As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me. <li>Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go ... would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again. <li>Someday I hope to get married. But not to you. <li>Happy birthday! You look great for your age... Almost Lifelike! <li>When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise. <li>We have been friends for a very long time... what say we stop? <li>I'm so miserable without you .... it's almost like you're here. </ol>