Medications

new medications for women only <p> DAMNITOL, Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours. <br>ST. MOMMA'S WORT, Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours. <br>EMPTYNESTROGEN, Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out. <br>PEPTOBIMBO, Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting. <br> DUMBEROL, When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country western music. <br> FLIPITOR, Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. <br> PENISCILLIN, Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as,"You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?" <br> BUYAGRA, Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree. <br> Extra Strength BUY-ONE-AL, When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura. <br> JACKASSPIRIN, Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number. <br> ANTI-TALKSIDENT, A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers. <br> SEXCEDRIN, More effective than Excedrin in creating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache" syndrome.