T-shirt slogans

Some T-shirt slogans: <ul> <li>I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. <li>I work hard because: Millions on welfare depend on me! <li>I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. <li>You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. <li>Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. <li>I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing. <li>I want to die in my sleep, like my grandfather....not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. <li>It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you. <li>I took an IQ test: and the results were.. Negative. <li>Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. <li>I have a degree in liberal arts - Do you want fries with that? <li>My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. </ul>