Even more Christmas Jokes

What is the worst disease that you get at Christmas? Excemas! What's green, covered in tinsel and goes 'ribbet ribbet'? A Mistle-toad! What's the most popular Christmas wine? 'I don't like Brussels sprouts!' Why do ghosts live in the fridge? Because it's cool! What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days! What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you! Why are Christmas Trees like bad knitters? They keep loosing their needles! What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an apple? A pineapple! What did one Christmas tree say to the other Christmas tree? "I wish Christmas would last forever because there would be no Sep-timber!" What do crackers, fruitcake and nuts remind me of? You! Where does Mistletoe go to become famous? "Holly" wood! What's the best thing to put into a Christmas Cake? Your teeth! What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk? Jingle Smells! Where would you find chili beans? At the north pole! Why is everyone so thirsty at the north pole? No well, no well! Why don't penguins fly? Because they're not tall enough to be pilots! What do sheep say at Christmas? Wool-tide Bleatings! or A Merry Christmas to Ewe! What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer! What's green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet? Mistle-toad! Which football team did the baby Jesus support? Manger-ster United! How did Mary & Joseph know how much Jesus weighted when he was born? There was a weight in a manger! What do you call a three legged donkey? A wonky donkey! What's the name of the one horse in "Jingle Bells"? Bob. (Bells on Bob's tail ring!) What is the most competitive season? Win-ter! Children: This turkey tastes like an old sofa! Mom: Well, you asked for something with plenty of stuffing!


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