Christmas Jokes

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia! Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can 'ho ho ho'! Why did Santa go to the doctor? Because of his bad "elf"! Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? Because he had a low "elf" esteem! What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson! What do you call a cat in the desert? Sandy Claws! Who delivers presents to cats? Santa Paws! What do you call a dog who works for Santa? Santa Paws! What do you call Father Christmas in the beach? Sandy Clause! What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues! What did the sea Say to Santa? Nothing! It just waved! What does Santa do with fat elves? He sends them to an Elf Farm! What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas Quacker! Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws What says Oh Oh Oh? Santa walking backwards! What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh? Santa going through a revolving door! What goes Ho, Ho, Ho, thump? Santa laughing his head off! What is Santa's favorite place to deliver presents? Idaho-ho-ho! Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it 'soots' him! Who is Santa's favorite singer? Elf-is Presley! What do you call Santa's little helpers? Subordinate clauses! What do Santa's little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet! What did Santa say to the smoker? Please don't smoke, it's bad for my elf! Where does Santa go when he's sick? To the elf center! What do you call a bankrupt Santa? Saint Nickel-less! What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective? Santa Clues! What do you call a man who claps at Christmas? Santapplause! Where do elves go to dance? Christmas Balls! What do elves eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes! What do you call a frozen elf hanging from the ceiling? An elfcicle! Who is the king of Santa's rock and roll helpers? Elfis! (Thank you, thank you very much!) What type of Shoes does Santa wear when he travels on a train? Platforms! What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit? Krisp Kringle! Who is Santa Claus married to? Mary Christmas! How long do a reindeers legs have to be? Long enough so they can touch the ground! What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-aments! Who is the Music Elf's favorite reindeer? Dancer! What do elves post on Social Media? Elf-ies! Which of Santa’s reindeers have to mind their manners most? Rude-olph! why don't reindeer like picnics? Because of all their ant-lures! What do you get when you cross a deer with rain? A reindeer! Where do Santa's reindeer stop for coffee? Star-bucks What's worse than Rudolph with a runny nose? Frosty the snowman with a hot flush! Did Rudolph go to school? No. He was Elf-taught! Why did the Rudolph cross the road? Because he was tied to the chicken! What do you call Rudolph with lots of snow in his ears? Anything you want, he can't hear you! What did Santa ask Rudolph about the weather? Is it going to rain dear?! Why did the turkey cross the road? Because he wasn't chicken! Why did the turkey cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off! What happened to the turkey at Christmas? It got gobbled! Why did the turkey join the band? Because it had the drumsticks! What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite! What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps! How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle