jokes about weather
- Four Seasons
- The four seasons were arguing about which of them was the best…
Winter boasts, "Well, you can ...
- Weather
- It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota asked their new chief if ...
- Cold Winter
- It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter ...
- Weather
- The Indians on the Aamjiwnaang First Nation reservation in Grand Bend asked their new chief if the ...
- Risk
- My mother was rushed to the hospital following a serious tumble. There the staff placed a band ...
- Communist Weather Expert
- A Russian couple walks down a street in Moscow when the man feels a drop hit his nose.
"I think it' ...
- The Sun
- Why did the sun decide not to attend college?
...
- List 4
- A group of crows was arrested for hanging out together. The charge? Attempted murder.
How do you ...
- The Outhouse
- Once there was a little boy that lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little ...
- Russian rain
- A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his ...
- Snow
- Norman and his blonde wife life in Fargo. One winter morning while listening
to the radio, they ...
- Kids Ideas About Science
- The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom ...
- Rain
- A girl asks her father, "Why does it rain? Is it God sweating or crying?"
"No," says her father, " ...
- Spring
- Spring is here! I got ...
- Riddles
- Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!
Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
...
- Ode to Texas
- The devil wanted a place on earth
Sort of a summer home
A place to spend his vacation
Whenever ...
- Succes
- One day, Harry came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He'd walked this way ...
- Knock the Weather
- Don’t knock the weather. If it didn’t change once in a while, nine tenths of the people couldn ...
- Frosty Weather
- As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot ...
- Philly
- Two guys from Philadelphia die and wake up in hell. The next day, the devil stops to check on them ...
- More Christmas Jokes
- What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Iceburgers or Brrrr-itos!
When is a boat just like snow?
When ...
- Spring Classes for Women
- Spring Classes for Women at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by ...
- Fortune Tellers
- Two fortune tellers meet. First one says, “We’re going to have a hot summer again.” The ...
- True Floridians Know...
- True Floridians Know...
1.. Socks are only for bowling.
2..You never use an umbrella because ...
- Drunks....
- A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and ...
- Knock Knock
- Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Pudding
Pudding who?
Pudding in your face!
Knock Knock
Who's ...
- Lovely Weather
- Husband: “Oh the weather is lovely today. Shall we go out for a quick jog?“
Wife: “Hahaha, ...
- Christmas Jokes
- What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia!
Why does Santa have ...
- Snowboarding Lessons
- When you're 47 years old, you sometimes hear a small voice inside you that says: "Just because you' ...
- Question
- Q: What is the best season to jump ...
- 9 months later!!!
- 9 months later!!!
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's ...
- Jog
- Husband: “Oh the weather is lovely today. Shall we go out for a quick jog?“
Wife: “Hahaha, ...
- Why, Why, Why
- Why, Why, Why
Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? ...
- Bee Hives
- Why do bees stay in their beehives ...
- Donation
- A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with ...
- Bees
- My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
" ...
- Blonde movie
- Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They had gone to see ...
- Yeti
- The snow yeti stopped doing sas-squats and ...
- Will Smith
- How do you find Will Smith in ...
- An old cop named Murphy
- MURPHY goes into the confessional and says to his priest "I had an affair with a woman. . . almost." ...
- Migrating Birds
- Q: Why do birds fly south for the ...
- Detective
- How does a detective stay cool in ...
- Will Smith
- How do you look for Will Smith in the ...
- Snowmen
- Q: What is the difference between ...
- Will Smith
- How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
...
- Two Blondes
- There were two blondes, and they had just came from a store.
The blonde that owned the mustang ...
- A Scotsman in New York
- A Scotsman is on holiday in New York City.
It's a balmy spring day and he is wearing a kilt.
A ...
- Airline Cabin Announcements I
- Airline Cabin Announcements I
All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the ...
- Heat Wave
- It was during a heat wave in August one summer when I saw this sign on a telephone pole. “Garage ...
- Bouncy Bed
- How do you make a water bed ...
- Dish Washer
- How do you turn a dish washer into a ...
- Old Lady
- An old lady comes to her doctor and says, “Doctor, you know how you told me I should avoid going ...
- Perfect Dave
- Morris walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, ...
- Bee Hive
- My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the ...
- Even more Quips
- "Anna Nicole Smith has won her Supreme Court case. I think this is the first time a bunch of old ...
- Stuff
- As the plane was flying low over some hills near Athens, a lady asked the stewardess: "What's that ...
- Temperature
- 60 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wooly hats.
Chicago people sunbathe.
50 above - ...
- Bats
- Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "Ya know, since summer started ...
- Carrot
- A snowman couple were celebrating their sons birthday. The Mother brought in a carrot cake made up ...
- Men are like....
- Men are like....
1. Men are like ....Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.
...
- Missing Boots
- As part of my job as a preschool teacher I have to help the children put on their coats and boots. ...
- Thunderstorm
- One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was ...
- Bill Gates
- Bill Gates goes to purgatory.
St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you ...
- God
- John, who was in financial difficulty, walked into a church and started to pray. ''Listen God,'' ...
- Frozen Windows
- Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: Windows are totally ...
- Spell Checker
- I halve a spelling checker,
It came with my pea see.
It plainly marks four my revue
Mistakes ...
- Siri
- The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, “Surely, it’s not going to rain today?”
and she ...
- Daddy's Room
- One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She ...
- Noah's Ark - A Modern Tale
- And the Lord spoke to Noah: ''In six months I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is ...
- TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH
- TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH:
1. Two World Wars and One World Cup.
2. Warm beer.
3. You get ...
- Two young Lovers
- Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get to the cabin, ...
- Sheldon Cohen
- A man walks to 5th Ave. & 42nd St. in New York City during a downpour and somehow manages to get a ...
- Anniversary
- While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were ...
- Christmas Jokes 6
- 26. How do you know when Santa’s around?
You can always sense his presents.
27. What do you ...
- Eat
- This guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally ...
- Airline attendants
- Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their ...
- Beer
- After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the Presidents of the brewreys decide to go ...
- Pork
- The leader of the vegetarian society just couldn’t control himself anymore. He just needed to try ...
- Drinking At Work
- Here's a few great reasons to allow drinking in the workplace...
1. It's an incentive to show up. ...
- The Plane
- A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the ...
- 5 minute management course 6
- 5 minute management course 6
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so ...
- Product Warnings 2
- Product Warnings
Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products:
Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant
Use ...
- HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE INSANE
- 1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
2. Find out where your boss shops ...
- Ways to spice up a boring Party
- Speak in a strange foreign accent. when someone asks where you are from, name a country only you ...
- Moose Hunting
- Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof ...
- Florida Vacation
- An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida,
his wife was ...
- Frank who?
- A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just as it was going by. He gets into the taxi, ...
- Irish Priest Humor
- An Irish priest is transferred to Texas . Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring ...
- Mike and Joe
- Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.
When it's clear that ...
- Two Priests
- Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, "I'd ...
- More blondes 19
- I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting. She told me she didn't know how to ...
- Blonde Story
- A True Story.... if she had killed herself -- God forbid -- she'd be a shoe-in for the Darwin Award. ...
- The koala and the lizard
- A koala is sitting up a gum tree ... smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up ...
- Southern FOLKS
- Southern FOLKS know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity
Southern FOLKS ...
- Kingdom of Heaven
- Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the ...
- Irishmen
- An Irish fellow in New York turns to the gentleman next to him....
“Well hey there friend! ...
- A Blonde's Year in Review
- A Blonde's Year in Review
January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
...
- NO MORE EXCUSES!!!
- It was a beautiful, warm spring morning. A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She ...
- The Mailman
- It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all ...
- Jesus and Satan
- Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had ...
