jokes about weather

Stairs get slippery in the winter
This mouse will survive the winter for sure
A Winterwonderland
in the South, it doesnt snow
I wanted to go jogging, but it looks like rain
get the body you always wanted this summer!!
Spring is in the air and the dandy lions are everywhere
What are clouds made of
When you realise your winter body is getting a little too wintery
Sometimes the weathers not your friend #umbrella
a tip for the winter: dont leave your sunroof open
Winter approaches, better get your car ready!
Spring is here, Im so excited
Fred Flintstone was here #snow #tracks
The ultimate snow shovel, Chuck Norris and Jean Claude van Damme
this angry barbecue hates winter
Johns weather forecast station
girls and guys first day of snow
Some people are like clouds #weather #beautiful #day
2 feet of snow
theres no app for shoving snow
Meanwhile in Texas snowman made out of tumbleweed
two hooters in the snow, owl
My favorite part of winter is watching it on TV from California
Tan Lines from Typical Summer Activities
when does spring start in Canada
really hot weather to really cold in two days
3 feet of snow, better take the car out for a spin
whoever is praying for snow please stop
dog left dry spot on the patio after sleeping in the rain
weather forcast joke sign
wife of the year carring case of Budweiser through the snow
tiger with snow in his face
two headed snow man radiation research
dog peeing on girl sunbathing
Four Seasons
The four seasons were arguing about which of them was the best… Winter boasts, "Well, you can ...
Weather
It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota asked their new chief if ...
Cold Winter
It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter ...
Weather
The Indians on the Aamjiwnaang First Nation reservation in Grand Bend asked their new chief if the ...
Risk
My mother was rushed to the hospital following a serious tumble. There the staff placed a band ...
Communist Weather Expert
A Russian couple walks down a street in Moscow when the man feels a drop hit his nose. "I think it' ...
List 4
A group of crows was arrested for hanging out together. The charge? Attempted murder. How do you ...
The Outhouse
Once there was a little boy that lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little ...
Russian rain
A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his ...
Snow
Norman and his blonde wife life in Fargo. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they ...
Kids Ideas About Science
The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom ...
Rain
A girl asks her father, "Why does it rain? Is it God sweating or crying?" "No," says her father, " ...
Spring
Spring is here! I got ...
Riddles
Q. What's white and goes up? A. A confused snowflake! Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be? ...
Ode to Texas
The devil wanted a place on earth Sort of a summer home A place to spend his vacation Whenever ...
Succes
One day, Harry came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He'd walked this way ...
Knock the Weather
Don’t knock the weather. If it didn’t change once in a while, nine tenths of the people couldn†...
Frosty Weather
As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot ...
Philly
Two guys from Philadelphia die and wake up in hell. The next day, the devil stops to check on them ...
More Christmas Jokes
What do snowmen eat for lunch? Iceburgers or Brrrr-itos! When is a boat just like snow? When ...
Spring Classes for Women
Spring Classes for Women at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by ...
Fortune Tellers
Two fortune tellers meet. First one says, “We’re going to have a hot summer again.” The ...
True Floridians Know...
True Floridians Know... 1.. Socks are only for bowling. 2..You never use an umbrella because ...
Drunks....
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and ...
Knock Knock
Knock Knock! Who's there? Pudding Pudding who? Pudding in your face! Knock Knock Who's ...
Lovely Weather
Husband: “Oh the weather is lovely today. Shall we go out for a quick jog?“ Wife: “Hahaha, ...
Christmas Jokes
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia! Why does Santa have ...
Snowboarding Lessons
When you're 47 years old, you sometimes hear a small voice inside you that says: "Just because you' ...
Question
Q: What is the best season to jump ...
9 months later!!!
9 months later!!! Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's ...
Jog
Husband: “Oh the weather is lovely today. Shall we go out for a quick jog?“ Wife: “Hahaha, ...
Why, Why, Why
Why, Why, Why Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? ...
Bee Hives
Why do bees stay in their beehives ...
Blonde movie
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They had gone to see ...
Bees
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered... " ...
Donation
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with ...
Yeti
The snow yeti stopped doing sas-squats and ...
An old cop named Murphy
MURPHY goes into the confessional and says to his priest "I had an affair with a woman. . . almost." ...
Migrating Birds
Q: Why do birds fly south for the ...
Will Smith
How do you find Will Smith in ...
Detective
How does a detective stay cool in ...
Will Smith
How do you look for Will Smith in the ...
Snowmen
Q: What is the difference between ...
Will Smith
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? ...
Two Blondes
There were two blondes, and they had just came from a store. The blonde that owned the mustang ...
A Scotsman in New York
A Scotsman is on holiday in New York City. It's a balmy spring day and he is wearing a kilt. A ...
Airline Cabin Announcements I
Airline Cabin Announcements I All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the ...
Heat Wave
It was during a heat wave in August one summer when I saw this sign on a telephone pole. “Garage ...
Bouncy Bed
How do you make a water bed ...
Old Lady
An old lady comes to her doctor and says, “Doctor, you know how you told me I should avoid going ...
Dish Washer
How do you turn a dish washer into a ...
Perfect Dave
Morris walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, ...
Even more Quips
"Anna Nicole Smith has won her Supreme Court case. I think this is the first time a bunch of old ...
Stuff
As the plane was flying low over some hills near Athens, a lady asked the stewardess: "What's that ...
Temperature
60 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wooly hats. Chicago people sunbathe. 50 above - ...
Bats
Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "Ya know, since summer started ...
Carrot
A snowman couple were celebrating their sons birthday. The Mother brought in a carrot cake made up ...
Men are like....
Men are like.... 1. Men are like ....Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you. ...
Thunderstorm
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was ...
Missing Boots
As part of my job as a preschool teacher I have to help the children put on their coats and boots. ...
Bill Gates
Bill Gates goes to purgatory. St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you ...
God
John, who was in financial difficulty, walked into a church and started to pray. ''Listen God,'' ...
Frozen Windows
Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: Windows are totally ...
Daddy's Room
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She ...
Spell Checker
I halve a spelling checker, It came with my pea see. It plainly marks four my revue Mistakes ...
Noah's Ark - A Modern Tale
And the Lord spoke to Noah: ''In six months I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is ...
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH: 1. Two World Wars and One World Cup. 2. Warm beer. 3. You get ...
Two young Lovers
Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get to the cabin, ...
Sheldon Cohen
A man walks to 5th Ave. & 42nd St. in New York City during a downpour and somehow manages to get a ...
Anniversary
While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were ...
Christmas Jokes 6
26. How do you know when Santa’s around? You can always sense his presents. 27. What do you ...
Eat
This guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally ...
Airline attendants
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their ...
Pork
The leader of the vegetarian society just couldn’t control himself anymore. He just needed to try ...
Beer
After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the Presidents of the brewreys decide to go ...
Drinking At Work
Here's a few great reasons to allow drinking in the workplace... 1. It's an incentive to show up. ...
The Plane
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the ...
5 minute management course 6
5 minute management course 6 Lesson 6 A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so ...
Product Warnings 2
Product Warnings Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products: Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant Use ...
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE INSANE
1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 2. Find out where your boss shops ...
Ways to spice up a boring Party
Speak in a strange foreign accent. when someone asks where you are from, name a country only you ...
Moose Hunting
Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof ...
Frank who?
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just as it was going by. He gets into the taxi, ...
Florida Vacation
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida, his wife was ...
Irish Priest Humor
An Irish priest is transferred to Texas . Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring ...
Mike and Joe
Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives. When it's clear that ...
Two Priests
Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd ...
More blondes 19
I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting. She told me she didn't know how to ...
Blonde Story
A True Story.... if she had killed herself -- God forbid -- she'd be a shoe-in for the Darwin Award. ...
The koala and the lizard
A koala is sitting up a gum tree ... smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up ...
Southern FOLKS
Southern FOLKS know their summer weather report: Humidity Humidity Humidity Southern FOLKS ...
Kingdom of Heaven
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the ...
Irishmen
An Irish fellow in New York turns to the gentleman next to him.... “Well hey there friend! ...
A Blonde's Year in Review
A Blonde's Year in Review January Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. ...
NO MORE EXCUSES!!!
It was a beautiful, warm spring morning. A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She ...
The Mailman
It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all ...
Jesus and Satan
Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had ...
TEXAS
IT'S SO HOT AND DRY IN TEXAS ....the birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ...
Sally
A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who ...
Beach Girl
A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who ...

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