jokes about weather

did you know NASA has proved that the distance from the the sun to the earth
in the South, it doesnt snow
I wanted to go jogging, but it looks like rain
get the body you always wanted this summer!!
Spring is in the air and the dandy lions are everywhere
What are clouds made of
When you realise your winter body is getting a little too wintery
Sometimes the weathers not your friend #umbrella
a tip for the winter: dont leave your sunroof open
Dont leave this ducky ornament in the sun
Winter approaches, better get your car ready!
Spring is here, Im so excited
Fred Flintstone was here #snow #tracks
The ultimate snow shovel, Chuck Norris and Jean Claude van Damme
this angry barbecue hates winter
Johns weather forecast station
girls and guys first day of snow
Some people are like clouds #weather #beautiful #day
2 feet of snow
theres no app for shoving snow
Meanwhile in Texas snowman made out of tumbleweed
two hooters in the snow, owl
My favorite part of winter is watching it on TV from California
Tan Lines from Typical Summer Activities
when does spring start in Canada
really hot weather to really cold in two days
3 feet of snow, better take the car out for a spin
whoever is praying for snow please stop
cats laying in the sun with bikini
dog left dry spot on the patio after sleeping in the rain
weather forcast joke sign
wife of the year carring case of Budweiser through the snow
tiger with snow in his face
photoshop the sun between my fingers fail
two headed snow man radiation research
dog peeing on girl sunbathing
Risk
My mother was rushed to the hospital following a serious tumble. There the staff placed a band ...
Communist Weather Expert
A Russian couple walks down a street in Moscow when the man feels a drop hit his nose. "I think it' ...
Cold Winter
It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter ...
Weather
It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota asked their new chief if ...
Weather
The Indians on the Aamjiwnaang First Nation reservation in Grand Bend asked their new chief if the ...
List 4
A group of crows was arrested for hanging out together. The charge? Attempted murder. How do you ...
Russian rain
A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his ...
The Outhouse
Once there was a little boy that lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little ...
Rain
A girl asks her father, "Why does it rain? Is it God sweating or crying?" "No," says her father, " ...
Kids Ideas About Science
The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom ...
Snow
Norman and his blonde wife life in Fargo. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they ...
Knock the Weather
Don’t knock the weather. If it didn’t change once in a while, nine tenths of the people couldn†...
Ode to Texas
The devil wanted a place on earth Sort of a summer home A place to spend his vacation Whenever ...
The Sun
I couldn't remember if the sun rose in the ...
Does the sun rise in the north?
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, ...
Fortune Tellers
Two fortune tellers meet. First one says, “We’re going to have a hot summer again.” The ...
Frosty Weather
As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot ...
Moon vs Sun
Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?" Pupil: "The moon." Teacher: "Why?" ...
Knock Knock
Knock Knock! Who's there? Pudding Pudding who? Pudding in your face! Knock Knock Who's ...
Question
Q: What is the best season to jump ...
The Sun
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, 'We were the first ...
Spring Classes for Women
Spring Classes for Women at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by ...
Riddles
Q. What's white and goes up? A. A confused snowflake! Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be? ...
Succes
One day, Harry came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He'd walked this way ...
Snowmen
Q: What is the difference between ...
Migrating Birds
Q: Why do birds fly south for the ...
Detective
How does a detective stay cool in ...
Bouncy Bed
How do you make a water bed ...
More Christmas Jokes
What do snowmen eat for lunch? Iceburgers or Brrrr-itos! When is a boat just like snow? When ...
Dish Washer
How do you turn a dish washer into a ...
Philly
Two guys from Philadelphia die and wake up in hell. The next day, the devil stops to check on them ...
Bees
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered... " ...
Yeti
The snow yeti stopped doing sas-squats and ...
Will Smith
How do you find Will Smith in ...
Two Drunks
Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night, look at the ...
Will Smith
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? ...
Heat Wave
It was during a heat wave in August one summer when I saw this sign on a telephone pole. “Garage ...
Blonde movie
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They had gone to see ...
LGBT
Why can you see the LGBT colors in the sky ...
Drunks....
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and ...
True Floridians Know...
True Floridians Know... 1.. Socks are only for bowling. 2..You never use an umbrella because ...
Christmas Jokes
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia! Why does Santa have ...
Jog
Husband: “Oh the weather is lovely today. Shall we go out for a quick jog?“ Wife: “Hahaha, ...
Snowboarding Lessons
When you're 47 years old, you sometimes hear a small voice inside you that says: "Just because you' ...
A Scotsman in New York
A Scotsman is on holiday in New York City. It's a balmy spring day and he is wearing a kilt. A ...
Normal car is better
Reasons why a normal Car is a far superior vehicle than a F1 Car "Hundreds of people and tens of ...
TEXAS
IT'S SO HOT AND DRY IN TEXAS ....the birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ...
Stuff
As the plane was flying low over some hills near Athens, a lady asked the stewardess: "What's that ...
Noah's Ark - A Modern Tale
And the Lord spoke to Noah: ''In six months I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is ...
Texas has it all Part 1
Texas has it all Part 1 Feeling a litle Down?- Why not Visit Smiley , Texas 78159 Paradise , ...
Two Blondes
There were two blondes, and they had just came from a store. The blonde that owned the mustang ...
Frozen Windows
Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: Windows are totally ...
Carrot
A snowman couple were celebrating their sons birthday. The Mother brought in a carrot cake made up ...
Baskin Robbins
Two robins were lying on their backs, basking in the sun. A mama cat and her kitten were walking ...
Blondes
Two blondes were sitting at a table in a club, when a guy invites one of them to dance. She asks ...
Donation
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with ...
An old cop named Murphy
MURPHY goes into the confessional and says to his priest "I had an affair with a woman. . . almost." ...
Temperature
60 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wooly hats. Chicago people sunbathe. 50 above - ...
Thunderstorm
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was ...
Daddy's Room
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She ...
Even more Quips
"Anna Nicole Smith has won her Supreme Court case. I think this is the first time a bunch of old ...
Bill Gates
Bill Gates goes to purgatory. St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you ...
9 months later!!!
9 months later!!! Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's ...
Missing Boots
As part of my job as a preschool teacher I have to help the children put on their coats and boots. ...
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH: 1. Two World Wars and One World Cup. 2. Warm beer. 3. You get ...
Morning
A man stumbles into his house early in the morning after a night of partying and heavy drinking, ...
Airline Cabin Announcements I
Airline Cabin Announcements I All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the ...
Spell Checker
I halve a spelling checker, It came with my pea see. It plainly marks four my revue Mistakes ...
Bats
Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "Ya know, since summer started ...
Morning Poem
I woke early one morning, The earth lay cool and still When suddenly a tiny bird ...
Why, Why, Why
Why, Why, Why Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? ...
Beer
After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the Presidents of the brewreys decide to go ...
Anniversary
While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were ...
Perfect Dave
Morris walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, ...
Two young Lovers
Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get to the cabin, ...
Product Warnings 2
Product Warnings Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products: Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant Use ...
Kung Fu
A Kung Fu student asks his master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated. And the ...
God
John, who was in financial difficulty, walked into a church and started to pray. ''Listen God,'' ...
Life
On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at ...
Kids...
* "Close the curtains," requested our 2 year old grand-daughter, sitting in a pool of bright light. ...
Checkup
A 75 year-old man goes to his doctor for a check-up.
Doctor: "You're doing fairly well for ...
Drinking At Work
Here's a few great reasons to allow drinking in the workplace... 1. It's an incentive to show up. ...
The Plane
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the ...
Pork
The leader of the vegetarian society just couldn’t control himself anymore. He just needed to try ...
Men are like....
Men are like.... 1. Men are like ....Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you. ...
Eat
This guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally ...
Moose Hunting
Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof ...
Irish Priest Humor
An Irish priest is transferred to Texas . Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring ...
Sheldon Cohen
A man walks to 5th Ave. & 42nd St. in New York City during a downpour and somehow manages to get a ...
Airline attendants
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their ...
Florida Vacation
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida, his wife was ...
5 minute management course 6
5 minute management course 6 Lesson 6 A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so ...
A Blonde's Year in Review
A Blonde's Year in Review January Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. ...
Product Warnings 3
PRODUCT WARNINGS Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products: Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: ...
Ways to spice up a boring Party
Speak in a strange foreign accent. when someone asks where you are from, name a country only you ...
Chief Samurai
An emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new chief samurai warrior. Only three applied for ...
English is easy???
You think English is easy??? Read to the end .. . . A new twist 1) The bandage was wound ...
Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged
Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I ...
The koala and the lizard
A koala is sitting up a gum tree ... smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up ...
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE INSANE
1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 2. Find out where your boss shops ...

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