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jokes about love
Dating
I recently started dating an archaeologist. ...
Dating
Dating in your 30's is like registering a domain name...The good ones are all taken. But you can ...
In Love
Daughter: "Dad, I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am in Australia and he lives in ...
Dating
When Magnesium and Oxygen ...
Dating
I've been dating women in alphabetical order. My current girlfriend, Yvette, is convinced I'll ...
Driving and Dating
What do driving and dating have in common? Both end up with you being chased by the police if ...
Choice
If I were to choose between dating and eating a soup – I think I’d rather eat the soup. Not ...
Dating
So I've joined a new dating agency for arsonists. They send me new matches every day, so ...
Son vs Dad
Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $ ...
Dating
I dated a woman with really bad narcolepsy. It ...
I love you - kids point of view
---Can you say "I love you" any better? What Love means to a group of 4-8 year olds . . Slow down ...
Love
“Honey what do you love most about me? My toned body or my charming face?” “Your sense of ...
Favorite Hashtags on Dating
#GeekPickupLines: My name’s Microsoft … can I crash at your place tonight? @ ...
Love Lines?
Love Lines? I thought that I could love no other. Until, that is, I met your brother. Roses ...
Salad
Did you hear what the salad said to the dressing when their dating got more serious? Lettuce get ...
Married
Comebacks to that all time favorite question "Why Aren't You Married Yet?" You haven't asked yet. ...
Love
To prove his love for her, he swam the deepest river, crossed the widest desert and climbed the ...
Make Love?
He'd shown her his etchings and just about everything else of interest in his apartment, and as ...
Love and Marriage
In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes. - Elizabeth Ashley Many a ...
Will you still Love me?
I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring my reflection, when I posed ...
Love
I like the guy who wrote "What Is ...
Love
Ah! Yes, love is blind, and ...
Love Boat
What's the closest synonym to ...
Birthday present
A young man wished to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday and as they had not been ...
The Love Story of Ralph and Edna
THE LOVE STORY OF RALPH & EDNA Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, ...
Love
A young man bought an expensive piece of jewelry as a present for his girlfriend. “Don’t you ...
If Men Ruled the World... Dating
-- Hallmark would make "Sorry I don't remember your name" cards. -- If your girlfriend really ...
Rich Boy's nose cut
A rich but spoilt boy fell in love with a girl and showered her with gifts though she didn't ...
Sad Love Stories
Math tells us three of the saddest love stories: 1)Tangent lines who had one chance to meet and ...
The Love Dress
A woman stopped by unannounced at her son's house. She knocked on the door, then immediately walked ...
Hell
one day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he's wallowing in despair, he has his first ...
The top ten signs that your co-worker is a computer hacker
10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000. 9. He's won the Publisher's ...
Dear dad
Dear Dad, $chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can’t think ...
Husband Store
A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a ...
The true meaning of male statements
Statement: "I'm a Romantic." True Meaning: "I'm poor." Statement: "You're the only girl I've ...
Italian Tomato Garden
Italian Tomato Garden: An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his ...
A Mom
A mom texts, “Hi! Son, what do IDK, LY and TTYL mean?” He texts back, “I don’t know, love ...
Biggest Lies
The check is in the mail. I'll respect you in the morning. I'm from your government, and I am ...
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let ...
Dear grandson
Dear Grand-son, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you ...
Brother
Be the kind of man that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, He's up!" ...
Good, Bad and Ugly
1. Good: Your wife is pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: You had a vasectomy 5 years ago. ...
A newly wed Couple
A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, ...
Happiness
HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be ...
Valentine's Day Cards
These rejected Valentine's Day cards somehow never made it to store shelves, I wonder why? I ...
A good way to start the day
A good way to start the day Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in ...
Doing the Sixty-Eight
While making love, he says: - Darling, let's do 68! - 68??? What's that? - You do it to me and I' ...
Instructions for Life in the new millennium from the Dalai Lama
Instructions for Life in the new millennium from the Dalai Lama: 1. Take into account that great ...
GRANDMA as a Senior Driver
GRANDMA as a Senior Driver The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a ' ...
Not so Nice
It’s amazing you love nature so ...
Copper Wire
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire ...
Garden of Living
FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING, PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS : 1. Peace of mind 2. Peace ...
Jog
Husband: “Oh the weather is lovely today. Shall we go out for a quick jog?“ Wife: “Hahaha, ...
Atennas
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the ...
Love
I was talking to my friend Joe the other day and he said "Do you know, I've loved the same woman ...
Little Johnny and Jenny
Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day ...
A Blonde
Guy is in a bar and strikes up a conversation with a dumb blond. "I'm curious, do you smoke after ...
Diary
1. HER DIARY Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to ...
Glasgow Rangers
Glasgow Rangers manager flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play Football and is suitably ...
Wish
A man rubbed a bottle and a genie came out, “OK the genie said what’s your wish” The man said ...
Windows
Arnold Schwarzenegger has released a statement saying he won’t be upgrading to Windows 10... He ...
Diamonds
My wife's birthday is in two days, and she told me that she would be happy as long as I get her ...
Wedding
GONNA WATCH MY WEDDING VIDEO LATER ON....BACKWARDS! COZ I LOVE THE END BIT WHERE SHE TAKES THE ...
Car won't Start
Wife calls her husband and says, “Darling, the car is broken, it won’t start.” “What?! It ...
You finish?
A virile, young Italian gentleman was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome, when he managed to ...
HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER
You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one... Brian invited his mother over for ...
Ghosts
Why do ghosts like to stay in hotels? ...
Pirate
What's a pirate's favorite letter? You ...
New Pilot
A new pilot has his first day in a real cockpit and he asks the pilot... "Wow, there's so many ...
Friends
Having trouble making friends? Just tell a girl you love her and her first reaction is to say lets ...
Penny Stamp
I used a penny stamp to mail a love note. But instead of writing it, I only sprayed it with my ...
Mariah Carey
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I ...
Happy Couple
Whenever I see a happy couple, smiling, giggling, feeding each other food, whispering sweet ...
Arguement
During a friendly argument, my husband asked me why I married him in the first place.
"I ...
Pirate
What is a pirate's favorite letter? You ...
French
As an English person there's one thing I love ...
Perfect woman, perfect attitude.....
Perfect woman, perfect attitude..... 1. I'll swallow it all, I love the taste. 2. Are you ...
French Maid
A French maid was tidying up for a wealthy computer whiz. She commented that he had a nice PC. He ...
A prayer
A woman's prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him; ...
Married
A year after marriage, wife complains to husband that he promised he would love her the same even ...
Tennis Player
Never give your heart to a tennis ...
Spinster
Jill, a love-starved spinster, was so desperate that she went to a local newspaper office and ...
Tennis Players
Don’t date tennis players. ...
You Do The Math...
You Do The Math... ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb ...
Christmas Jokes 2
6. Why did Frosty ask for a divorce? His wife was a total flake. 7. Why does Scrooge love ...
Thai bride
An old man is just back from Thailand with his new Thai bride. Lying in bed,his new bride is ...
This Guy Knows Math
This Guy Knows Math I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut ...
A robin
As I awoke this morning, as all sweet things are born A robin perched upon my sill, the sign of a ...
Lesbian
One of my wife's friends is a lesbian. One day we got to talking and I asked her did she ever ...
Star Spangled Banner
I love the Star Spangled Banner. I just don't get the beginning line. Who is Jose? And why do we ...
The wife
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive ...
Men and Women
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have ...
Farmer
"I love my job!" said the farmer "All you do is boss us around all day" said the sheep "What ...
Valentine Cards
A young guy walks into a post office and sees a middle–aged, balding man standing at the counter ...
Wine
A couple are sitting in their living room, sipping wine. Out of the blue, the wife says, “ ...
Husband and wife
My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he knew as ...
Marry
A woman tells her husband she was diagnosed with cancer. Her husband tells he’s very sad and ...
Southern Women
The owner of a golf course in North Carolina was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided ...
The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life
1. The Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes." 2. The Dentist - who tells her to " ...
The Top 10 Santa Pick-Up Lines
The Top 10 Santa Pick-Up Lines 10. "I'll make you shake like a bowl full of jelly." 9. "I ...
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