Biggest Lies

The check is in the mail. I'll respect you in the morning. I'm from your government, and I am here to help you. It's only a cold sore. You get this one, I'll pay next time. My wife doesn't understand me. Trust me, I'll take care of everything. Of course I love you. I am getting a divorce. Drinking? Why, no, Officer. I never inhaled. It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing. I never watch television except for PBS. ...but we can still be good friends. She means nothing to me. Don't worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gauge is on "empty." I gave at the office. Don't worry, he's never bitten anyone. I'll call you later. We'll release the upgrade by the end of the year. Read my lips: no new taxes. I've never done anything like this before. Now, I'm going to tell you the truth. It's supposed to make that noise. I *love* your new _____! ...then take a left. You can't miss it. Yes, I did. Don't worry, it's OK - I'm sterile.