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jokes about fat
Obese
An obese person says: obesity runs in my family. Doctor: That is incorrect, nobody runs in your ...
Fat
I figured out why I'm so fat. The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my body says, "For ...
Fat Psychic
What do you call a fat ...
Fat
How do you know your girlfriend is getting ...
Fat Chick
How to seduce a fat ...
Fat
Why are rich British people fat? because they measure their wealth in pounds Edit: Remember ...
Yo Momma
Yo mama so fat God told her he had no room in heaven and the devil said there was no room in hell ...
Fat
9 out of 10 voices in my head are telling me that I am too fat. The last one is calmly preparing a ...
Fat Guy
A fat man goes into a fast food restaurant and orders his food. The cashier says that it will be a ...
Fat
How do you know when your girlfriend is too fat? When she sits on your face and you can't hear ...
Fat and Thin
A fat guy and a thin guy meet: Fat guy: “When I see you, I’d think a famine broke out!” ...
Fat Free
A boy read a restaurant sign that advertised fat-free French fries. “Sounds great,” said the ...
Fat and Ugly
A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband, "I feel horrible, I ...
Preferential Treatment
A fat woman and a skinny woman were sitting together at a restaurant. "Men prefer thin women," ...
Fat
You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good ...
Fat
There were no two ways about it. Rosie was fat. Very fat. “Martha”, said Rosie to her best ...
Fat Lady
There were no two ways about it. Rosie was fat. Very fat. “Martha”, said Rosie to her best ...
Medical
Mrs. Jones goes to the doctor for a full medical. After an hour or so, the doctor looks at Mrs. ...
Waiter
SERVER: "Sorry about your wait." ...
Pager
A mother took her five-year-old son with her to the bank on a busy lunchtime. They got behind a ...
Thin and Fat
Once there were two sisters. One was fat and ugly and one was thin and beautiful. The fat ugly ...
Yo Momma part 2
Yo momma's so fat, she makes Free Willy look like a tic tac Yo momma's so fat, when we played ...
Fat
If I had to name 5 of the fattest ...
Compliment
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a ...
Yo' Mama
Yo' Mama is so fat, when I tried ...
Cheat
What do you say when you cheat on your ...
Paddy
The phone rang at the motor pool and an authoritative voice demanded to know how many vehicles were ...
Weight
“Wow you look great! Did you lose weight?” “Hey – did you just call me fat in retrospect? ...
Product Wording
NEW - Different color from previous design. ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with ...
Mirror
“Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the prettiest of them all?” “OK, could you step aside ...
Wife
Q: Whats the difference between a wife and a hippopotamus? A: One has a big mouth and a fat ass ...
Christmas Job
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit. ...
Little Johnny
A traveling salesman rings this doorbell. 10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a beer and ...
Will you still Love me?
I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring my reflection, when I posed ...
Fat
I went to see the doctor today and he said to me, “Don’t eat anything fatty.” I said, “What ...
Give
Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what ...
Baby
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I ...
Eat
You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good ...
Pregnant
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was ...
Top TEN things only women UNDERSTAND...
10. Cats' facial expressions 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors 8. ...
Exercise!
1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. 2. A whale swims all day, ...
Six months Pregnant
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room: I was ...
Christmas Jokes 4
16. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph. 17. How is Christmas exactly like your ...
Top ten things only women understand
TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND 10. Cats' facial expressions. 9. The need for the same ...
Riddle
You measure my life in hours and I serve you by expiring. I’m quick when I’m thin and slow when ...
Fat
A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight ...
Bubba
Down South, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suin' the cigarette companies ...
Devorced
A guy calls up his ex-wife and, disguising his voice, asks to speak to himself.
"Sorry, he ...
Could have been
An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by ...
WOMANS YEARLY EXAM
WOMANS YEARLY EXAM I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The nurse started with ...
The Top 10 Santa Pick-Up Lines
The Top 10 Santa Pick-Up Lines 10. "I'll make you shake like a bowl full of jelly." 9. "I ...
Old Woman
A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full length mirror ...
Even More Christmas Jokes
11. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing. It was on the house! 12. How do you help ...
I Wish I Was a Bear
One of the female fans sent this:
I Wish I Was a Bear
If you're a bear, you get to ...
Sue Companies
Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is It true theys suin them cigarette companies fer causin ...
Yo momma So Old Collection
Yo momma's so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake. Yo momma's so old, she farts ...
Food
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa.. 'The material we put into our stomachs is ...
Bad Food
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough ...
Car names I
ACURA Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile Asia's Curse Upon Rural America AMC All ...
Learn Chinese in 5 minutes
Learn Chinese in 5 minutes (You MUST read them aloud) English - Chinese That's not right! ...
The Top Ten Reasons Men Prefer Guns over Women
The Top Ten Reasons Men Prefer Guns over Women #10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22. #9. ...
Top 10 Reasons why some Men prefer Guns over Women
Top 10 Reasons why some Men prefer Guns over Women #10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22. ...
Backhanded Comments
When you hear these comments don't assume their positive sound is all they indend to be. Backhanded ...
The drunk
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected 2 litres of low fat milk, a carton ...
Grill
A couple had been married 10 years. One afternoon, they were working in the garden together. As the ...
Breakfast
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. 'You know what?' says the 6 year old. ...
Amish elevator
An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but ...
43 Years
Translate A 45 year old woman had a heart attack and was immediately transported to the ...
Christmas
1. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph. 2. What did the stamp say to the Christmas ...
Santa
Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right. Mrs. Claus had burned all ...
Valentine's Day Cards
These rejected Valentine's Day cards somehow never made it to store shelves, I wonder why? I ...
Great diet and more
"I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything youwant, but you must eat it with naked fat ...
Old
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT ...
Reasons To Be Single
Reasons To Be Single Cooking my own meals would be an adventure, not a punishment. I wouldn' ...
Parrot Talk
One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a parrot. He found one that he liked and went up to ...
Cracking the Human Resource Code
COMPETITIVE SALARY Most of our competitors don't pay much either. "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY" ...
New Years Eve Party
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned ...
Dressed and Ready
A couple was dressed and ready to go out into the city for the evening. They turned on a night ...
The Late Tommy Cooper--Comic
The Late Tommy Cooper--Comic 1. Two blondes walked into a building... you'd think at least one ...
The Train
A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new ...
Games to play when we're older
Games to play when we're older: 1. Sag, you're it. 2. Hide and go pee. 3. 20 questions shouted ...
The Year's Best (actual) Headlines Of 2006:
The Year's Best (actual) Headlines Of 2006: Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [hmm!] ...
Booze Quotes
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they' ...
Funny News articles
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other ...
Oxymorons
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand On the watch Called the ...
Sayings
Sayings Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself "'Lillian, you should have ...
Famous Sayings
Famous Sayings Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself ~~"Lillian, you should ...
Rules To Consider II
Rules To Consider II 20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. 21. ...
Why the US is in deep trouble
Why the US is in deep trouble A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why. 1. I ...
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will ...
More New Years Eve One Liners
I raised my left leg before the ball dropped so I could start the New Year off on the right foot. ...
Children Writing About the Ocean...
Children Writing About the Ocean... 1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight ...
Men vs. Women
NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, ...
The Difference Between Women And Men
1. NAMES If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each ...
Monday Morning Humor
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." ...
New Rules
SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go ...
F*cking
An out of work pianist with Tourettes Syndrome is strolling around the streets and bars of Soho one ...
Christmas Jokes
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia! Why does Santa have ...
Christmas
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia! Why does Santa have ...
Happy Easter!
Q. Why did the Easter Bunny hide the egg? A. Because it was a little chicken. Q. What does ...
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