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I'm at the wrong bank.

Letterman's Top Ten Signs You're Doing Business With The Wrong Bank 10. When you make a deposit, tellers high-five each other. 9. After you get a free toaster, bank president shows up at your house begging for toast. 8. Your monthly statements are handwritten, in crayon. 7. When you want to make a withdrawal, clerks suddenly don't speak English. 6. You notice Kato Kaelin is sleeping in the vault. 5. Your safety deposit box is a Dunkin' Donuts carton wrapped in tin foil. 4. All cash deposits go directly into teller's pants. 3. Lobby is waist-deep in Mexican pesos. 2. Toll-free customer service line is: 1-800-GET-HOSED. 1. Four words: Bank President Rosa Lopez
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