YOU know you need a Different Lawyer when ......

* You met him in prison. * During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway. * He tells you that his last good case was a Budweiser. * When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other. * He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose." * He tells you that he's never told a lie. * He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger." * A prison guard is shaving your head.