Crisco

A Husband and Wife were shopping at the grocery store. The wife takes off shopping and her husband is looking for her. He starts calling out "Crisco, Crisco". The store manager walks by and says......"Sir the Crisco is in the baking aisle which is aisle # 6." The husband replies, "Oh I dont want to buy any Crisco, Im just calling my wife". The store manager says, "Is that her real name?" and the husband replies, "No that is what I call her when we are out in public". "So what do you call her when you at home?" "Lard ass".