A Frenchman, an Englishman, and an American are captured by cannibals.
As they are awaiting their fate they are approached by the cannibal chief.
"First we are going to kill you," the chief explained. "Then we will eat you. Then we will use your skin to make a canoe. But we are kind, so we will let you choose how you will die."
The Englishman said "I will die by the sword!" They gave him a sword and he screams "God save the Queen!" then he stabs himself in the gut.
The Frenchman says "I will die by the gun!" They give him a gun and he shouts "Vive la France!" And then shoots himself.
The American asked for a fork. The cannibals all start laughing, but figure this will be a good show so they give the American the fork.
As soon as he gets the fork in his hands the American starts stabbing himself all over, and screams: "Make a canoe out of this, you sons of bitches!"