jokes about holiday

leave this for room service on every checkout hotel

A Holiday in the Caribbean: A woman goes on holiday in the Caribbean, whilst staying at her hotel she meets a big black guy. ...
Holiday: I bought a World Map...gave my GF a dart and I said to her.."throw this dart and wherever it lands ...
Camping: Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. ...
Jump: I called hotel management from the hotel room and said,, “Please, come quick. I’m having an ...
Holiday: Two undies meet, one says to the other, "Hey, have you been on holiday? You got so nice and brown!" ...
deer camp: Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to ...
Hotel: A vacationer telephones a seaside hotel to ask where it was. “It’s only a stone’s throw from ...
Watergate Hotel: A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel in Washington. The bride is concerned, and asks, " ...
Florida Vacation: An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida, his wife was ...
Nudist: A hole has been found in the nudist camp ...
Run: You can’t run through a camping ground. ...
Nudist Camp: A young boy had been taken for his first visit to a nudist camp by his parents. He was surprised ...
Vacation Clothes: While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had ...
Common: What do tight jeans and a cheap ...
Choices: Sam heard all about the great service in the “Sleep Fine Hotel”, so after dropping his stuff in ...
Managers: Why don’t all the managers go into holiday at once? So people can’t see that the company works ...
Debts: The hotel proprietor takes the 100 dollar bill and runs to pay his debt to the butcher. The ...
Mathematics: A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. Dear Wife, You must realize that you are 54 ...
Mistletoe: Why is the mistletoe hanging over the baggage counter?” asked the airline passenger, amid the ...
Paris: I’ve just had a really big row with my wife about going on holiday. I wanted to go to Paris; she ...
The Hotel Bill: The Hotel Bill Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this... ...
Photon: Photon is checking into a hotel Porter asks if he has any luggage to bring up to his room. “ ...
Sing: A man arrived at his holiday guest-house and met the landlady. 'Can you sing?' she snapped. 'No,' ...
The Hotel Bill: A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on ...
Doors: An American, a Japanese man, and a Cuban are all at Home Depot — shopping in the millwork and ...
A Scotsman in New York: A Scotsman is on holiday in New York City. It's a balmy spring day and he is wearing a kilt. A ...
Hotel: When the follow called a motel and asked how much they charged for a room, the clerk told him that ...
Tickets: Mr. and Mrs. Thorne had just reached the airport in the nick of time to catch the plane for their ...
Newly weds: A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband ...
Diet: A group of prosperous businessmen were dining at the Sam’s Hotel in Las Vegas. “Seems to me you ...
High School Reunions and why to avoid them: Rachel, Clare and Samantha haven't seen each other since High School. They rediscover each other ...
Scottish Bloke: This Scottish bloke goes on a skiing holiday to Canada. After a hard day on the slopes, he retires ...
Plain Ticket: Man to Ticket Agent: “I want to buy a plane ticket for Norwald... for a vacation, you know...!” ...
Mother in Law: George went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family including his mother-in-law. ...
New Year Jokes 3: 11. What should you never eat on New Year’s Eve? Fire crackers. 12. What is a New Year’s ...
Microsoft: One of Microsoft's finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was ...
A minister: A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The ...
New Year Jokes 1: 1. Why do birds fly south for New Year’s Eve? It’s too far to walk. 2. What do snowmen ...
My Dear Wife: FAX: To My Dear Wife, "You will surely understand that I have certain needs that being with a 54- ...
Taxi: Man runs out of the hotel and calls to the doorman "call me a taxi" Doorman turns and says "you ...
Abe and Esther: Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. ...
Devil: The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " ...
First Class: She sits down in the first class. A steward, - who has seen her ticket at the entrance - approaches ...
Rejected Titles for the movie Brokeback Mountain: Rejected Titles for the movie Brokeback Mountain: - "PRANCES WITH WOLVES" - "JEREMIAH'S ...
To My Dear Wife: A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table: 'To My ...
Two Priests: Two Priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation ...
Job Interview: Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out ...
New Age Confucius: This is definitely a NEW AGE Confucius ! Confucius says..... Man who wants pretty nurse, ...
Confucius Say: Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient. Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing ...
Pregnant: Bob says to Lester, "You know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation, only this year I'm gonna do ...
Confucius Say: Some old and new ones: Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient. Passionate kiss, like ...
Wal-Mart: Things to do @ Wal-Mart while the significant other is taking his/her sweet time: 1. Get cans of ...
Christmas Jokes 6: 26. How do you know when Santa’s around? You can always sense his presents. 27. What do you ...
Irish: So two Irishmen are traveling to Australia. Before they leave home, one of their dads gives them ...
Alligator Shoes: A blond was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, ...
Two young Lovers: Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get to the cabin, ...
Pregnant: Billy Bob and Lester were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob told Lester, "You know, I reckon I'm ...
Texan Farmer: A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. ...
Snoring: The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly. They ...
Pork: The leader of the vegetarian society just couldn’t control himself anymore. He just needed to try ...
New Rules: SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go ...
Holy Land: A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there, ...
Riddle: A Norwegian man was visiting Sweden and took a taxi from the airport. While chit chatting the taxi ...
Can't get out: An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess; the route they were flying ...
Meeting: As a popular local politician I always try to help out whenever I can. So that’s how it came to ...
A nun and a priest: A nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and realized halfway across that the camel they ...
A few Days off: I decided that I needed a few days off and realized that I had run out of vacation time already. ...
Texas: Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say aboutfolks from Texas ... If someone in a Lowe's store ...
Italian kid: Italian kid.. 'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'. The ...
Captured Cowboy: A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief ...
A frog: A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is ...
Tommy visits the Confessional: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman for the last three weekends." ...
Marry: Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of ...
Newly Wed Couple: A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of ...
Holiday Eating Tips - For The Sane: I hate aspects of this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but ...
Florida court: FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY In Florida, an atheist created a case against the upcoming ...
Triangle: There's a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three ...
Local Restaurant: A big Texan cowboy stopped at a local restaurant following a day of drinking and roaming around in ...
Women who read: A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota.The husband likes to fish at ...
Interesting Facts about Texas: Here are some little known, very interesting facts about Texas . 1. Beaumont to El Paso : 742 ...
Alligator shoes: A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to ...
A smile or two: 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from ...
Creative puns for smart minds: Creative puns for smart minds 1. The roundest knight at King Arthurs Round Table was Sir ...
Product Warnings 1: PRODUCT WARNINGS Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products: Liquid Plummer Warning: Do not ...
European Heighten Threat Levels: European Heighten Threat Levels The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent ...
Elephant: In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University . ...
Ode to Texas: The devil wanted a place on earth Sort of a summer home A place to spend his vacation Whenever ...
Arkansas's Rules: Arkansas's Rules 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot. 2. Let's get this ...
Children Writing About The Sea: Children Writing About The Sea: 1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. ( ...
Dr. Epstein: Dr. Epstein was a renowned physician who earned his undergraduate, graduate, and medical degrees in ...
9 months later!!!: 9 months later!!! Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's ...
Riddles: Q. What's white and goes up? A. A confused snowflake! Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be? ...
Kid's Stories: Kid's Stories While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly ...
More New Years Eve One Liners: I raised my left leg before the ball dropped so I could start the New Year off on the right foot. ...
Political Science for Dummies: Political Science for Dummies DEMOCRATIC You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You ...
Why Men are never Depressed: Why Men are never Depressed Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple ...
Even more Christmas Jokes: What is the worst disease that you get at Christmas? Excemas! What's green, covered in tinsel ...
Men vs. Women: NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, ...
Puns: Puns 1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but ...
Sentenced to Death: A Leeds Fan, a Liverpool fan and a Man u fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of ...

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