jokes about cars

Car looks like its parked on a roof
A cars weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel
How did they manage to park this car this way
Wheels on a shopping cart be like #larsulrich
I have never once stored gloves in my cars glove compartment
A guy double parked his car and gets a nice treat
Im going to take the kids outside to wash the car with him
This is not the best ad on a car for when its sunny out
I dont think you should be following this truck
I was lonely until I glued a coffee cup on top of my car
Good advice regarding turn signals on this car
Biker takes revenge on car
A campervan pulling a car or is it
This funny add for a Citroen 2CV
this dog has no shame, junoed out of the car window and got into the next car because the person was eating KFC
This car produces extra smoke
this car doesnt look happy
If your car falls through the ice, please do this
This toy car caused a bad crash
these guys locked their keys in an armoured truck
This car owner saw it coming
A doggo hiding under a car
Someone did a good job on this police car
My boss bought a new car
Out the car
stop the government from tracking your car
To whoever it was that told me to leave my car at the bar #bus
this is not how you refill a fire truck
Driver saved from certain death by saw because of his car
convert your car into a ferrari!
Someone seems to have lost their focus #ford #car
How did they manage to crash a car up there
I guess someone was not happy with the driver #pickaxe #car
This man didnt quite get it
It was too hot for this ice truck
this is a weird customer complaint
Winter approaches, better get your car ready!
Some people stay positive no matter what #car #smashed #window
I guess Ill walk instead #snake #car #key
Im not a fireman, but I dont think thats how you refill a fire truck
Since I painted my car all pedestrians move out of the way
Dont crash your car if theres pain in the booth
Did this guy pass #car #drivingschool
you can sleep in a car #race #house
canadians are friendly all the time #car
if you ever feel useless #bmw #car #turnsignal
this is how some girls think makeup works #lamborghini #car
A car nearly hit the target #accident
there are no shortcuts #fail #truck #accident
rock #car
No parking means no parking #car #wrapped
hotmail arrived #truck #fire
I dont always pass slow drivers #traffic #stupid #car
kid saved for a new macbook, bough equivalent pc and a car instead
Cop pulls over dunkin donut truck
this is what you should do to your kids car!
I really wanna marry the guy who whistled at me from his car
3 feet of snow, better take the car out for a spin
I want to steal a donut truck
the closer you get
dogs with their heads out the car window
how car manufacturers see backseat passengers
3 mistakes bought car at cambrian ford sold dodge
truck moosejaw driver carries less than 50 dollars and is fully naked
Frog just waiting for the bus cause his car got toad
fire truck on fire
polish car invisible
faces on road truck and helicopter
dog in car shotgun passenger seat
dog in car wind
Police hit car
hone to Jason, secret sign on back of truck
bus hitting car
Kia Nokia car sinking in water
move over sticker on car
packed car
soldiers hiding behind car call of duty
low bridge truck with toilets
car hit pharmacy drive through
guys in car surfing behing what could go wrong
car bike run on fat save money
tough toy car broken wheel
cow fail toy car
cut out paper car mcdrive
dog ball car keeping
wrong trailer car water
Tires
What do you do with a car whose wheels ...
Blonde Car Accident
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her ...
Bridge
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." ...
Bridge
A truck driver is driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads “Low Bridge Ahead.” ...
Car Names
BMW Bavarian Manure Wagon SATURN Sorry about that unusual rattling noise FIAT Feeble ...
Best salesman, ever!
A young man from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department ...
3 Guys
3 guys were riding in a car: a hardware technician, a systems analyst, and a programmer. The ...
Car names I
ACURA Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile Asia's Curse Upon Rural America AMC All ...
Crows
Recently biologists have noted that more crows have been getting killed by vehicles on major ...
Truck
Aboard the USS TARAWA for six months, my brother Don posted a picture of his beloved truck in his ...
A Trucker
As a Minnesota trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs ...
Car Problem
There are four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an ...
New Truck
One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new ...
Gates vs. GM
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the ...
Stolen car
A young man from Georgia came running in the restaurant and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody ...
A Riddle
A Riddle You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a valley and on ...
Bicycle
I called the bicycle factory and asked to speak to whoever was in charge of wheels. The person who ...
Because I'm a Man - I
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the ...
A Roadway driver
A Roadway driver is driving east on Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and the CB crackles to ...
Automobile Acronyms
AUDI Accelerates Under Demonic Influence BMW Bought My Wife BUICK Big Ugly Indestructible ...
A blonde Lady Motorist
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose ...
First Car
A guy buys his first car at a dealership and doesn't know how to start it, he ask the car dealer " ...
Ride Damage Survey
This practical joke is best done to people who are truly anal about their car, truck, whatever. The ...
Old computer / Car joke
At a recent computer expo (1996 COMDEX), Bill Gates compared the computer industry to the ...
Firefighter
A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door ...
New car
I just bought an expensive car, only to find the reverse gear broken. There’s no going back ...
Why Men don't write advice colums
Why Men don't write advice colums... Dear Walter, I hope you can help me here. The other ...
New Car
I got a new car for my ...
Old Joe
A farmer is in the middle of plowing his field when his tractor runs out of gas. He needs to get ...
Milk
What has one horn and ...
Taxi
Man runs out of the hotel and calls to the doorman "call me a taxi" Doorman turns and says "you ...
Ranchers
A Texas Cattle Rancher and an Illinois Farmer were debating on who had the biggest spread of land. ...
Why men don't write advice to the lovelorn columns
Why men don't write advice to the lovelorn columns: Dear Walter: I hope you can help me ...
A couple in a Car
A cop was patrolling at night in a well-known spot. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior ...
SMART ASS ANSWERS according to Reader's Digest
Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. ...
Spaghetti Car
My mom laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen ...
Slippers
There's a dodgy looking man standing by my car with slippers on. He seems confused as to why my ...
On a flight from New York to Paris
On a flight from New York to Paris, soon after take-off the pilot announces: "I'm sorry, but we ...
Really No Comparison
A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a ...
A very successful Lawyer
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Porsche Carrera GT in front of the office, ready to ...
ID
An Arkansas trooper pulled over a pickup truck. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver ...
Washing Car
A father was washing his car with his son and the son asked, “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge? ...
Driver
What did they call the race car driver who won with a hen strapped to the hood of his car? Number ...
Thunderstorm
After a severe thunderstorm farmer notices a fire has started in his field. He tries putting it ...
Senior Driving
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife' ...
Girlfriend
Anytime you see a young man open a car door for his girlfriend, either the car is new or the ...
Bizarre Police Reports
Bizarre Police Reports In Detroit, Oregon, a hunter thought he had found a severed human head ...
Smart Ass Answers
SMART ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" ...
Car Seat
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers ...
Pedro
Pedro drives up to the border and is stopped by border patrol. "Name?" asks the customs officer ...
Smart Car
So a Hipster goes into an auto parts store and asks for a fuel cap for his Smart Car. The sales ...
Carburetor
Wife: “There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.” Husband: “Water in ...
Country Song
What happens when you play a country song ...
Leather dress
When a woman wears a leather dress A man's heart beats quicker, He goes weak in the knees, ...
No Problem
Car salesman: the car you are interested in can seat six people without any problems. Me: I don€ ...
The Norwegian Volunteer Fire Dept.
One dark night outside a small town near Poulsbo,Washington, a fire started inside the local ...
Stay
This guy pulls into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure his dog had ...
The Car
Wife:"honey, I have good and bad news about the car" Husband:"give me the good news first" Wife:" ...
Driver less Car
Kelly was standing in front of Cohan’s Tavern when he saw a driver less car rolling slowly down ...
Turn back your car odometer
A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a ...
Leather ....
When a woman wears leather clothing, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, ...
Used cars
It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used ...
Man
A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three very large, leathered bikers walked in. ...
A snail
A snail owned a car and was painting a big letter 'S' on it. His friend the turtle saw him and ...
Drunk
A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a ...
A small Town
It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car ...
Parrot Talk
One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a parrot. He found one that he liked and went up to ...
Pulled over
A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a ...
I'm fine
Farmer Joe was in his car when he was hit by a truck. He decided his injuries from the accident ...
The Pink and White joke.
There once was a man, and everything he owned was pink and white. He had a pink and white car, a ...
A new sign
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ...
Oil Change instructions
Oil Change instructions for women: 1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles ...
Street Crossing
There's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming around the ...
MALE VS. FEMALE
MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: 'Please note that this ...
Life in a mental hospital
Life in a mental hospital A nurse walks into a room and sees a patient pretending he's driving a ...
Buy a Car
One day a rich famous man went to buy a sport car from a dealership. The price of the car was $80000 ...
Bad economy
The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in themail. The economy is so bad I ...
Widow
Two salesmen are traveling in the country when their car breaks down. The only house around for ...
The North and South
The North and South The North has Bloomingdale's, the South has Dollar General. The North ...
Cash
In a shop for kids, Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money- ...
Ploughing the land
A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came ...
The truck stop
A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, I want three flat tires, a ...
Car won't Start
Wife calls her husband and says, “Darling, the car is broken, it won’t start.” “What?! It†...
Blonde and Car
This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and ...
Two prostitutes
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on the roof of their car which read, "TWO ...
Bad Day
I rear ended a car this morning... I knew it was going to be a REALLY bad day. The driver got out ...
Thank God
I've sure gotten old. I've had two By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate ...
Car for women
Renault and Ford are working on a new small car for women. They are mixing the Clio and the ...
I've sure gotten old!
I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought ...
Did You Know
Did You Know That the words race car spelled backward spells race car.. That eat is the ...
A young guy from Missouri
A young guy from Missouri moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under the roof department ...
Perfect Marriage
RED SKELTON'S Recipe for the Perfect Marriage: 1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, ...
Golfing With the Mob
Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together. One man says, "I'm a salesman. ...
Car names II
GM General Maintenance Great Mistake Garbage Motors Generally Miserable Grossly ...
Straight Line
A cop is doing standard patrol when he notices a car swerving all over the road. He quickly turns ...
Arkansas's Rules
Arkansas's Rules 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot. 2. Let's get this ...
Walk the Line
A cop is doing standard patrol when he notices a car swerving all over the road. He quickly turns ...
I'm Fine
A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was ...
Bragging
A Texas rancher, visiting a South Dakota farmer friend, asked him to show him his farm. After ...
A flat tire
blonde's car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day. So she eases it over onto the shoulder ...

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