Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza? A: A large pizza can feed a family of four... Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher? A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work - the philosopher can do without the trash bin... Q: What do you get if you add two apples and three apples? A: A high school math problem! Q: What does the zero say to the the eight? A: Nice belt! Q: How does one insult a mathematician? A: You say: "Your brain is smaller than any >0!" Q: What does a mathematician present to his fiancee when he wants to propose? A: A polynomial ring! Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach? A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun! Q: Why do mathematicians, after a dinner at a Chinese restaurant, always insist on taking the leftovers home? A: Because they know the Chinese remainder theorem! Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? A: Pumpkin Pi!


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