Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four...
Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?
A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work - the philosopher can do without the trash bin...
Q: What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
A: A high school math problem!
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!
Q: How does one insult a mathematician?
A: You say: "Your brain is smaller than any >0!"
Q: What does a mathematician present to his fiancee when he wants to propose?
A: A polynomial ring!
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!
Q: Why do mathematicians, after a dinner at a Chinese restaurant, always insist on taking the leftovers home?
A: Because they know the Chinese remainder theorem!
Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi!