Scientific Phrases - What They Say and What They Mean

Scientific Phrases - What They Say and What They Mean "It has long been known" - I didn't look up the original reference. "A definite trend is evident" - These data are practically meaningless. "While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions" - An unsuccessful experiment but I still hope to get it published. "Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study" - The other results didn't make any sense. "Typical results are shown" - 1 This is the prettiest graph. 2 The best results are shown. "These results will be in a subsequent report" - I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded. "In my experience" - Once. "In case after case" - Twice. "In a series of cases" - Thrice. "It is believed that" - I think. "It is generally believed that" - A couple of others think so, too. "Correct within an order of magnitude" - Wrong. "According to statistical analysis" - Rumor has it. "A statistically-oriented projection of the significance of these findings" - A wild guess. "A careful analysis of obtainable data" - Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass iced tea. "It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs" - 1 I don't understand it. 2 I need more grant money. 3 I can get at least one more paper out of this. "After additional study by my colleagues" - They dont understand it either. "Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions" - Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant. "A highly significant area for exploratory study" - A totally useless topic selected by my committee. "Handled with extreme care during the experiments" - Not dropped on the floor. "Presumably at longer times" - I didn't take the time to find out. "This paper will omit a review of the more recent literature in favor of" - I don't know if anything has been written on this since my dissertation. "Various authorities agree" - I overheard this in the hall. "It was observed that" - One of my students noticed that "No discussion would be complete without reference to the contributions of" - I need another footnote on this page. "This research has left many questions unanswered." - I didnt find anything of significance. "This finding has not yet been incorporated into general theory" - Perhaps my next graduate student will make sense of it. "It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field" - I quit.