AVIATION RULES AND REMINDERS

AVIATION RULES AND REMINDERS * Takeoff's are optional. Landings are mandatory. * If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick back they get smaller. Unless you keep pulling the stick back...then they get bigger again. * Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous. * The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat. * The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire. * Every one already knows the definition of a 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. But very few know the definition of a 'great landing.' It's one after which you can use the airplane another time. * The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival. * A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round and reciprocating parts going up and down -- all of them trying to become random in motion. Helicopters can't really fly -- they're just so ugly that the earth immediately repels them. * Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself. * There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing: Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. * The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as co-pilot is a co-pilot who once was a captain. * It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You start with a large fortune. * A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and about flying when he's with a woman. * Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs. * Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fire hydrant what it thinks about dogs.