Teacher vs. Student
            TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find   North  America . 
MARIA:         Here it  is. 
TEACHER:   Correct.  Now class, who discovered   America ? 
CLASS:          Maria. 
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TEACHER:   John,  why are you doing your math multiplication on  the floor? 
JOHN:          You told me to do it  without using tables. 
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TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell  'crocodile?' 
GLENN:      K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' 
TEACHER:  No,  that's wrong 
GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you  asked me how I spell it.   
(I  Love this kid) 
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TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for  water? 
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O. 
TEACHER:   What are you talking  about? 
DONALD:     Yesterday you said it's H to O.   
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TEACHER:   Winnie, name one important thing we have  today that we didn't have   
ten years  ago.
WINNIE:       Me! 
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TEACHER:   Glen, why do you always get so  dirty? 
GLEN:          Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you  are.   
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TEACHER:     Millie, give me a sentence starting  with ' I. ' 
MILLIE:         I  is.. 
TEACHER:     No, Millie..... Always say, 'I  am.' 
MILLIE:          All right...  'I am  the ninth letter of the alphabet.'      
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TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down  his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father  didn't punish him? 
LOUIS:           Because George still had the axe in his  hand.     
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TEACHER:    Now,  Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers  before eating? 
SIMON:         No sir, I don't have to, my  Mom is a good cook.   
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TEACHER:     Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the  same as your brother's.. Did you copy  his? 
CLYDE :         No, sir. It's the same dog.   
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TEACHER:   Harold, what do you call a person who  keeps on talking when people are no longer  interested? 
HAROLD:     A teacher 
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LAUGHTER  IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!