You Work in Corporate America If...

You Work in Corporate America If... - You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies. - Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro. - Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket. - Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um. - You order your business cards in "half orders" instead of whole boxes. - When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie. - You get really excited about a 2% pay raise. - You learn about your layoff on CNN. - Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes. - You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet. - Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined. - You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive. - It's dark when you drive to and from work. - Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else. - Communication is something your group is having problems with. - You see a good looking person and know they're a visitor. - Free food left over from meetings is your main staple of your diet. - Weekends are those days your significant other makes you stay home. - Art involves a white board. - You're already late on the assignment you just got.