Traffic Stop

While I was driving down the A19 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk, asked: "Runway too short?" To which I replied, "I'm late for work". To which he asked, "What do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher", I responded. The copper was surprised and confused "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well" I said, " I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I get my other hand in, and then I slowly start to stretch the hole, until it's about six feet." Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six foot asshole?" To which I politely replied," You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge....." Speeding ticket: $105.00 Court costs: $45 Look on copper's face: Priceless
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