Speeding Ticket

While I was flying down the road yesterday (only 15 mph over), Inoticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on top of a bridge. Naturally, hepulled me over, walked up to the car and asked me, "What's the hurry?"
I replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop. "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The cop said, "What?.... A rectum stretcher? What does a rectum stretcher DO?"
I said, "Well, I start with one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then my whole hand. Then I work until I can get both hands in there, and then I slowly stretch it until it's about 6 foot wide."
The cop asked me, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot ass hole?"
I simply replied, " You give him a radar gun and park him on top of a bridge....."

Pull Over

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