Officer

A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine. Officer: You were speeding. Man: No, I wasn't. Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket. Man: But I wasn't speeding. Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.) Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk? Officer: Yes, you would. Man: What if I just thought that you were? Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think. Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!