Scoop Water

A golfer is cupping his hand to scoop water from a Highland burn on the St Andrews course. A groundskeeper shouts: "Dinnae drink tha waater! Et's foo o' coo's shite an pish!" The golfer replies: "My Good fellow, I'm from England . Could you repeat that for me, in English!?" The keeper replies: "I said, use two hands - you'll spill less that way!"