Signs You're in America

-- a pizza can get to your house faster than an ambulance. -- there are handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. -- Sick people must walk to the back of the drugstore to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy cigarettes in the front. -- Banks leave both vault doors open, but pens are chained to the counters. -- Expensive cars sit in the driveways and useless junk fills garages. -- people use voice mail to screen calls and call waiting to catch every call they might miss. -- Drive-Up ATM machines feature Braille lettering.