jokes about school
- School Joke
- As a pre-med student at Washington University in St. Louis, I had to take a difficult class in ...
- Late for School
- Teacher to Student: Why are you late?
Student: Because of the sign on the road.
Teacher: What ...
- Concept
- One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely ...
- Student
- A student is talking to his teacher.
Student: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"
...
- Bathroom
- student: may i use the bathroom?
Teacher: as long as you can recite the alphabet.
Student: ...
- Give
- Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what ...
- School
- Q: What do elves learn at school?
A: The elf-abet.
Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: Because it ...
- Water
- Teacher: "What is the chemical formula for water?"
Student: "HIJKLMNO."
Teacher: "What are you ...
- Student Loan
- Thank you, student loan, for helping me through ...
- Student Loans
- Thank you student loans, for getting me through ...
- Late
- Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That' ...
- Question
- STUDENT: Sir, can I ask a question?
TEACHER: Yes! STUDENT: How do you put an elephant inside a ...
- One-Armed Jock
- An English professor told her students that there would be no excuse for not showing up for their ...
- Stimulus bill
- Shortly after class, an economics student approaches his economics professor and says, "I don't ...
- Beautiful
- An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student ...
- Little Johnny
- Little Johnny skipped school one day and since his house was next to his school, the teacher ...
- No Excuse
- A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any ...
- Mets Fans
- On the first day of school, a teacher asked her class, "Who here is a Mets fan?"
Every student ...
- Life on other planet
- Student: Please Sir! Did you hear that scientists have found life on another planet?
Teacher: ...
- Next Generation
- A college student challenged a senior citizen, saying it was impossible for their generation to ...
- School
- An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school.
"If you ...
- Breakfast
- At school one morning the teacher asked little Johnny what he had for breakfast. Little Johnny said, ...
- College
- After eight years in college, there is one Aggie student who still can't seem to get himself ...
- Half
- Teacher: Class, this morning, we will have only half a day of school.
Class: Yaaaaay!
Teacher: ...
- Aspiring Psychiatrists
- The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first
class on emotional extremes.
"Just to ...
- Bird
- Teacher: "Name a bird with wings but can't fly." ...
- Zero
- Student- I don’t think I deserved zero on this test!
Teacher-I agree, but that’s the lowest ...
- Book
- Teacher: "Which book has helped you the most in ...
- Little Mary
- Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day ...
- Homework
- Q. Why did the student eat his homework?
...
- The P
- It was a average day in Bobby's first grade class. Around 11:00 he had to go to the bathroom, so he ...
- Med School
- First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human ...
- Questions
- There is this third grade class with this kid named Rotten Reggie in it. One day, the teacher ...
- Statistics
- A teacher is explaining the concept of statistics with an example: "Statistically, every time I ...
- A Study
- A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first graders using a bowl of ...
- Late
- “It was terrible”, moaned John upon entering the classroom a half hour late. “I left with ...
- In Common
- Q: What do an old person, a Mexican man, and a high school student close to graduation have in ...
- Half
- Teacher: "Answer this math problem: if your father earns $500 a week and gives half to your mother. ...
- Miss Franny
- A school headmaster had interviewed, and offered a job to a lady teacher called Miss Franny.
He ...
- Church on Sunday
- A little boy came home with his parents from church one Sunday. He seemed a little depressed, so ...
- School
- It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her grades. There is really ...
- Present Tense
- Teacher: "What is the present tense for the sentence 'I killed someone'?"
Student: "The present ...
- Birds
- Joe, a college student, was taking a course in ornithology, the study of birds. The night before ...
- Homework
- Q: Why did the school kids eat their homework?
A: Because their teacher told them it was a ...
- Turnip
- A school teacher asks her class, "What vegetable makes your eyes water?"
Little Johnny ... - Oxygen
- A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 17 ...
- Johnny's back at school
- Johnny's back at school
The teacher asked, "Class use the word contagious in a sentence."
Molly ...
- Cow and Grass
- Teacher: "I asked you to draw a cow and grass, but I only see a cow. Where is grass?"
Student: " ...
- Tenses
- The teacher says: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," ...
- Unemployment
- Teacher to a student: "Can you think of a solution to end unemployment?"
"Yes, sir! I'd put all ...
- Scots Boy
- A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the school play. " ...
- SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007
- SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - ...
- Exam
- A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, ...
- Church
- A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be ...
- Birthday Maths
- Teacher: "Lean, how old were you on your very last birthday?"
Lean: "Seven."
Teacher: "Then how ...
- Teacher
- My prepositions ...
- Who Knows
- One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she ...
- Teacher
- There was once a cross eyed teacher.. ...
- Age
- A teacher said to her student, "Billy, if both of your parents were born in 1967, how old are they ...
- Stapler
- Having served his time with the Marine Corps, a man became a school teacher and before school ...
- Homework
- As a teacher I often send home notes with children to inform the parents that their child’s ...
- Teacher
- Why did the cross eyed teacher get ...
- Involuntary Muscular Contractions
- A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical ...
- Little Johnny
- It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really ...
- Two high school Sweethearts
- two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school and were both ...
- Teacher vs. Student
- TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
...
- Ain't
- Teacher: Now, you must not say, “I ain’t goin’.” You should say, “I am not going, he is ...
- Church
- A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And ...
- Paybacks
- Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; ...
- Teachers
- Why did the English teacher break up with ...
- Pepito
- A grade school teacher in Las Milpas (somewhere in Texas ) asked her students to use the word " ...
- Sleeping
- THE OTHER DAY I WAS SLEEPING IN CLASS,so my angry teacher shouted at me:
-Isabel, why are you ...
- Pizza
- A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr.Smith. He delivered the pizza to his ...
- Marriage
- A third-grade teacher is getting to know her pupils on the first day of school. She turns to one ...
- Lie
- Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" ...
- Marry
- Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of ...
- A Lesson on Socialism
- A Lesson on Socialism
An economics professor said he had never failed a single student before ...
- Students
- These are actual comments made on students report cards by teachers in the New York City public ...
- At the Bar
- There was a man sitting at a bar, and he looks over at the gentleman sitting next to him and says, " ...
- Zero
- Teacher: "You got a zero in the last exam."
Roger: "I don’t think I deserve a zero!"
...
- Gifts
- It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. ...
- Explosives
- Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”
Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made ...
- Mime School
- I signed my wife up for classes at a non-refundable mime school for her birthday.
She’s still ...
- Break up
- Why did the physics teacher break up with ...
- Break Up
- Why did the physics teacher break up with ...
- Break Up
- Why did the physics teacher break up with the ...
- Sleeping
- Teacher to Paul: “Wake up, Paul! You can’t sleep in class!”
Paul to teacher: “I could ...
- Question
- Teacher : whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window
...
- America
- Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, ...
- Ten Commandments
- A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds. ...
- Mr. Common Sense
- Mr. Common Sense
Mr. Sense had been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he ...
- The Commandment
- A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
...
- America
- Teacher: "Jill, where is the America on the map?"
Jill: "Right there, ma'am."
Teacher: "Correct. ...
- Little Mary
- Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in her Catholic School.
Usually she slept ... - Cats
- Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: ...
- Composition
- TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did you copy ...
- Fur Coat
- Anne went away to college and promptly became an avid animal right activist. When she came home for ...
- Fur Coat
- Anne went away to college and promptly became an avid animal right activist. When she came home for ...
- Whales
- A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically ...
- School answering Machine
- SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE (This is hilarious - no wonder some people were offended!)
This is the ...
