jokes about religion
- Jesus vs Satan
- Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours ...
- Eskimo
- An Eskimo being far out in the wild did not know about religion and god etc. A priest tells him ...
- Heaven or Hell
- An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you' ...
- An engineer in Hell
- An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not pleased with the level of comfort in Hell, and ...
- Christmas
- A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused ...
- Jesus and Satan
- Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had ...
- Jezus
- A man gets drunk and stumbles straight into a baptism being performed on the river bank.
The ...
- The Bear
- A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the ...
- Greek God
- My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god. ...
- Engineer
- An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you' ...
- Monk
- A Tibetan monk sees the face of Jesus in a tub of margarine.
He raises his eyes to the heavens ...
- Heaven vs. Hell
- One night, God visits a preacher.
The preacher has one question, "What is Heaven like?"
God ...
- Heaven
- Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go ...
- Rabbi
- Why did the Rabbi have to quit carrying around scripture with him wherever he went?
Because it ...
- Smoke and Pray
- Cecil and Morris are walking to services and Cecil asks, "I wonder whether it would be all right to ...
- Father Murphy
- Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go ...
- Father Murphy
- Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go ...
- Jesus' Multi-Ethnicity
- Proof that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into his father's business.
2. He lived at home until the ...
- Bartender
- A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar.
The bartender ...
- Poison
- A man goes to see the Rabbi. 'Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you ...
- Heaven
- Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
...
- Hell
- Three dead men go to hell at the same time. There is a white man, a Chinese man, and a Mexican man. ...
- Church Finances
- A Mormon Family, one Monday evening, sat around the fire place and was discussing Church Finances, ...
- Bishop
- A bishop walks straight up to the bar and the barman says:
You can't do that. Bishops can only ...
- Where is God?
- Two brothers were always getting into trouble in their neighborhood. The people in the neighborhood ...
- Satan
- Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the ...
- Jezus
- If Jesus and Poseidon ever ...
- Two Brothers
- There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful. His ...
- God Created
- In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth... After that, everything else was made in ...
- Sip the Vodka
- A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the ...
- Religious Humor
- Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were ...
- Two Brothers
- Once upon a time there were two brothers.
One brother was very mischievous, always getting into ...
- The Pope and Tiger Woods
- The Pope and Tiger Woods die on the same day and because of an administrative mix up the Pope went ...
- Funeral
- A woman in Brooklyn decided to prepare her Will and make her final requests.
She told her rabbi ...
- The Devil
- One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went ...
- The Devil
- One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local ...
- Catholic
- Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a ...
- An Irish Priest
- An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.
The ...
- Three Nuns
- Three nuns stand at the Pealry Gates of Heaven, and Saint Peter turns to them and explains that ...
- Jezus
- An Irish man with a crooked back walks into a coffee shop and sees Jesus sitting in the corner ...
- Jesus
- A Drunk man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing ...
- Walking next to a Stream
- Jesus, Noah, and Moses were walking down a path next to a stream when Moses said, “let’s see if ...
- Heaven and Hell
- Heaven is Where:
the Police are British, the Chefs are Italian, the Mechanics are German, the ...
- The world's first Professional
- A doctor, and engineer, a rabbi and a lawyer were debating who was the world's first professional.
...
- Dead Dog
- Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom ...
- Catholic
- Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.
The first Catholic man tells his ...
- Satan
- Struggling to make ends meet on a first-call salary, the pastor was livid when he confronted his ...
- A nun and a priest
- A nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and realized halfway across that the camel they ...
- Innovative Ideas
- The local parish had a fairly new priest. He had wonderful, innovative ideas that were, for the ...
- Just water
- An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The ...
- Panties
- There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day. As the priest is walking by, he looks up ...
- Heaven or Hell
- Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed ...
- Yo Momma
- Yo mama so fat God told her he had no room in heaven and the devil said there was no room in hell
...
- Catholic Coffee Morning
- Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square.
The first ...
- Married in Heaven
- On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident.
The ...
- Pastor's Ass
- The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that ...
- 30 more Years
- In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. “Will I ...
- Preacher's Ass
- A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and, on being told that there was a fortune in ...
- Jezus
- Two guys and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and ...
- Little Mary
- Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day ...
- Married in heaven
- On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The ...
- Little Mary
- Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in her Catholic School.
Usually she slept ... - God
- Three women dies for some unknown reason, they don't know each other. We can call them Sara, Jenna ...
- Jesus is watching you
- A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching ...
- Ass
- A pastor wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse ...
- Honda
- Mr Honda, of the Honda Motor Corporation, died and went to heaven for judgement. At the gates, St. ...
- Married in Heaven
- A man and a woman are on their way to their wedding.
They get into a terrible car crash and are ...
- Yo momma So Old Collection
- Yo momma's so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
Yo momma's so old, she farts ...
- The Confession
- Joe enters the confessional and tells the priest that he has committed adultery.
"Oh, no," said ...
- Kingdom of Heaven
- Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the ...
- The Twenty and The One
- There was this $20 dollar bill and a $1 dollar bill on the
conveyor belt at the downtown Federal ...
- Bill Gates
- Bill Gates goes to purgatory.
St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you ...
- Dear grandson
- Dear Grand-son, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you ...
- Antartian
- An Antartian died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new ...
- 5 minute management course 2
- 5 minute management course
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed ...
- Nine Is Enough
- Shortly after having her ninth baby, an Irish Catholic woman runs into her parish priest.
He ...
- God
- While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all ...
- Adam
- God was talking to Adam one day when Adam begins to lament. "God I'm lonely, I need a companion?" ...
- Lemon Squeeze
- There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, ...
- Drunk
- A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. ...
- Heaven or Hell
- While walking down the street one day, a political head of state is tragically hit by a truck and ...
- 100 Years Old
- This 60 year old woman was walking along 5th Avenue when she heard a voice from above
"You will ...
- God
- Mommy, do you know if God has to go to the toilet too?
No child. Of course not. What makes you ...
- What is God?
- A nine year old boy asks his mother, "Is God male or female?"
After thinking for a moment, his ...
- Dead
- I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of ...
- Your man vs God
- A young man once asked God how long a million years was to him.
God replied, "A million years ... - An Atheist Walking Through The Woods...
- An atheist was walking through the woods... when he stopped and thought: "What majestic trees! What ...
- Devil
- Not many people know it, but the Devil actually wears a wig. You'd never know if you weren't told - ...
- Jesus and Moses
- A burglar broke into a house one night.
He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables; ...
- Donation
- A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with ...
- Baseball
- Tom was at the hospital visiting with his best friend Larry who was dying. Tom asked, "If there is ...
- Absent
- Harry walked over to the Priest after services, “You know Father, I am really stuck in a quandary ...
- An old cop named Murphy
- MURPHY goes into the confessional and says to his priest "I had an affair with a woman. . . almost." ...
- God created
- God may have created man before woman, but there ...
- Catholic Dog
- Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, ...
- HR Director
- One day while walking down the street a highly successful HR Director was tragically hit by a bus ...
- Three Guys Go to Heaven
-
Three guys die and end up at the gates of heaven, talking to St. Peter.
"So," Peter asks the ...
- The Senator
- While walking down the street one day, a senator is tragically hit by a truck and killed. His soul ...
- Jezus Car
- "Some say Jesus drove a Honda, but didn't like to talk about it"
"For I did not speak of my own ...
- My Bike
- A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his mission in the jungle where he ...
